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Relationship Protocol: Checking People Out

I happen to think that the saying, "You can look, but you can't touch," rings true when it comes to relationships. With so many good-looking people in this world, it's hard to ignore someone's beauty — men and women alike. And just because your significant other recognizes that someone else is attractive, that's not to say he's less attracted to you, it's just that he can appreciate another good-looking woman. Though we all have our moments of insecurity, tell me: Do you mind if your partner innocently checks out other women when he's with you? Does it make you feel self-conscious or any less connected? Or do you think it's just human nature to notice people of the opposite sex?


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fabulouslady87 fabulouslady87 9 years
I would get a little peeved if he checked out another girl while he was with me, especially if we were on a date and I put in effort to look extra good. I know everyone looks and I'm totally fine with that, but I do think it's more respectful if I'm the one he's looking at when we're together. Nine times out of ten I'm the one pointing out girls to him even though I'm straight. We sort of appreciate good looking women together so its not really a problem for us.
Janine22 Janine22 9 years
My last ex bf was totally rude and disrespectful about it, so it really hurt me sometimes. But my fiance is actually very subtle about it when he does, I don't notice him doing it. I think he does it more when he is at work with the boys. He is really respectful towards me, so he would never just gawk at a girl when I am there with him.
superjules superjules 9 years
My husband is a total gentleman when he's with me and he never checks out other women. I never told him he couldn't or anything like that, he's just the kind of man who knows that it's rude to ogle another female when the one you love is by your side. And he's no rico suave either so I don't worry about him when he's with his friends. He wouldn't have a clue if a woman was flirting with him.
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 9 years
Oh my gosh! My fiance just said, "I thought we had a look but not touch policy" today. Sorry, weird coincidence! I definitely don't care, but the funny thing is, I judge him on who he thinks is hot, especially with celebrities. I can't remember how it came up, but he was trying to describe someone who was really hot, and I was like, "oh is she supermodel hot?" thinking of Heidi Klum or Adriana Lima. And he was like, "yeah! super hot! just like Tina Fey!" I thought that was adorable...
bbkf bbkf 9 years
We're both cool with it. It never crosses a line to disrespect.
sc-cutie sc-cutie 9 years
We pretty much find attractive people for the other person. I'm always asking him "hey, what do you think of her?" and he'll say to me, "you're looking at that guy with the big muscles, aren't you?" It works because I know he loves me and it will never stop him from doing so.
lilwildone1202 lilwildone1202 9 years
i won't be like 'hey hunny look at that hot guy across the street' but its human nature to notice the opposite sex. i know he notices but he'll try to pretend like he doesnt to be respectful
sparklestar sparklestar 9 years
I'm bi so if a cute girl goes past then we'll likely both have noticed and I'll know what he's looking at. ;p He doesn't do it when he's with me though out of respect and I'm thankful for that.
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
My boyfriend is oblivious to other people. He seems to notice really ugly people or really fat people more than gorgeous women or women who dress slutty. However, he recently did mention he notices when women are attractive, but they're usually celebrities...i.e. Dennis Kucinich's wife or Heidi Klum. It still makes me feel uneasy when he tells me about these hott women. It's one thing to look, but another thing to bring it up randomly in a conversation about something completely unrelated to the person.
AnnaLove AnnaLove 9 years
Hah, I do the same brookrene! But thankfully we are both really jealous people so he doesn't do it. It was just at first.
brookrene brookrene 9 years
I'm not totally okay with it... I wonder what I need to do to better myself so that he'll be checking me out and not some other girl. I start going through a list of all the things I can change and how I can go about doing it.
ilikeatea ilikeatea 9 years
Its fine, and I don't care if the does. Never get jealous...its just wasted angst..why does it matter if at the end of the day he is with me? I check out other guys all the time. Actual flirting is another matter though:P
chicobo chicobo 9 years
It's fine. I do get jealous sometimes but I remind myself who he's coming home with...that usually works. It is just a fact of life. Limiting that ability to check out other people just has bad results.
WhatTheFrockBlog WhatTheFrockBlog 9 years
Doesn't bother me.
ann418 ann418 9 years
*hide it. Whoops! :)
ann418 ann418 9 years
My bf does this weird neck-stretch-thing when he's checking a girl out, as if to try to hid it or something. It's been 5 years and he still thinks I don't know what he's doing, lol. :)
Karma87 Karma87 9 years
For the most part, no, not a problem...BUT if he's so taken aback by a beauty that he forgets what he was saying to me, then I get a bit pissed off. He knows and tries to keep it to a dull roar, but I always see him looking in the rearview at joggers and women driving and women walking,and shopping- lol. I probably sound jealous, but it's more like a feeling of disconnect/disrespect for a fleeting moment. To that end I will not -absolutely refuse- to check out guys while he's around. I look about 10 years younger than I am, and have the guys my teenage daughter thinks are hot checking me out, hehe, so that's my little secret he doesn't know about!
cravinsugar cravinsugar 9 years
haha we ask each other when we someone if the other is interested. His new love: Charlize Theron lol. I need to learn to my makeup like hers when she flew to will smith's place the first time. If i see a hot woman i will point him out to her, and he will do the same. he doesn't say, he's hot, what do you think, but if he sees someone walk by, he'll say something like "you think he's hot" etc. I think it's fine.
hithatsmybike hithatsmybike 9 years
We're both cool with it. My bofriend & I are both big flirts, and we develop little crushes on celebrities and people we know alike. We tease each other about it more than we get jealous.
Jude-C Jude-C 9 years
It doesn't bother me at all. We always call each others' attention to attractive people when we're out (and have fun critiquing outfits and stuff as well). It's not threatening just to look, as long as you're respectful to your partner. I do think some people cross the line, though. Like those creepy guys who stare and stare at you in a really gross way when they're with their girlfriends/wives, or give you really overt "come hither, baby" looks when their partner is right there. Yuck.
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