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Relationship Protocol: Is Constant Affection a Relationship Necessity?

Outside of sex, physical affection is still a significant part of any relationship. It’s a way for couples to express their desire, devotion, and connection without saying a word. With the stresses and demands of daily life, what begins as a very affectionate relationship can end up being one in which a quick kiss or cuddle on the couch is all a couple has time for on a given day. Like saying “I love you,” for some couples the show of affection remains a rare, but nevertheless, special occurrence. It may not be ideal, but do you think that a relationship with limited affection can still be a healthy one? Or do you find constant affection a necessity? If so, how do you and your significant other express it outside of the bedroom?


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JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
I think there are points in every relationship where their may be less affection for a while just because of the stress of everyday life. I wouldn't want my whole life to be like this but I could handle it for a while. If you realize that it's missing you can work it back in. I like to give my husband extra hugs when I'm feeling affectionate and touch him as much as possible. Don't force it because that will probably make you feel worse and he might know that you are doing it.
designerel designerel 9 years
the bf is a LOT more affectionate than i am. i hear the l-word a few times a day, he's always touching me in some way, whether it's a hand on my leg in the car, hugging me from behind, kissing, massaging my back, holding my hand... love it :)
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 9 years
my guy and I are both super-affectionate people and show it constantly! Holding hands, kisses/pecks on cheek in public, hugs, arms around each other, frequent cuddles, you name it.
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 9 years
The idea turns me off.
Muirnea Muirnea 9 years
I love affection!!!! People are different and I think that there can easily be relationships that are just fine without a lot of affection...but I wouldn't want one like that,lol. :D
Laughing4life Laughing4life 9 years
It's SO important. I'm not a fan of making out in public haha Or being OVERLY-affectionate. But sometimes, a quick handhold, backscratch, shoulder-kiss are needed when you're out. Even a secret look works too...just to show the other person that "hey, we might be out, but i'm still way more excited to go home with you" haha I love that my bf is into all that stuff. He's fantastic.
sparklestar sparklestar 9 years
With my ex there was hardly any affection unless he wanted to get laid. It was depressing and I really need a hug sometimes. My boyfriend now is WONDERFUL and totally affectionate all the time. He's not very good at expressing his emotions verbally but physically he communicates them very well. :)
SweetKisses103 SweetKisses103 9 years
I think affection is important in a relationship. I kinda wish my boyfriend was more affectionate but he has a lot on his mind and it doens't come naturally. Since we don't get to spend much time alone now that he's back home for summer, affection is needed more for me. Without it I feel like he doesn't care. I know he does, but he doens't do or say anything really to give me the impression. My guy friend is currently struggling with trying to get his girlfriend to be more affectionate towards him. She is very reserved and they don't do much. They hold hands, but he says that's just because my boyfriend and I are around. He's really struggling with their relationship because he doesn't think that she is really into it because of this. I'm trying to help them since she's my best friend but it's a struggle.
radmama27 radmama27 9 years
Being affectionate is wonderful. But I think that if you need it all the time, its not a good thing. And sometimes the other partner realizes that, and gets uncertain.
Meike Meike 9 years
It is a constant necessity for both my husband and me because it makes us happy. As for other couples, whatever floats their boats. If they're happy, they're healthy.
kmh5424 kmh5424 9 years
Well, with my ex there was not a lot of affection, especially towards the end. And never in public. But with my boyfriend, there is a lot and I LOVE it. He always reaches for my hand when we are walking somewhere, or cuddles with me on the couch, or touches my hand or leg riding in the car, etc. It is still early times, but I really hope it continues that way. My parents were never very affectionate or verbal about their love for each other/or us kids. And I am very affectionate with my son and always tell him that I love him and give him lots of hugs and kisses. I think affection is an important part of any relationship, be it physical or verbal.
kenziebaby kenziebaby 9 years
I enjoy the affection that he initiates. I have to admit, when we are out somewhere crowded or even on a quiet walk when he reaches for my hand I melt :)
zawackirz zawackirz 9 years
I love being affectionate!! :)
nikodarling nikodarling 9 years
I think affection is important - I really notice in my relationship when we have a really busy week or are apart for too long and don't have those small physical interactions the relationship does suffer. That being said there is a limit - I certainly don't go for the lovey-dovey baby-talk kind of affection.
Sydney-C Sydney-C 9 years
I am definitely the less affectionate one in my relationship. I don't know why - I'm just not a very touchy-feely person and never have been...but my bf nevertheless will not even let me walk in the door without giving me a hug and a kiss - and I do admit that if he ever stopped I would miss it.
Indigo4320 Indigo4320 9 years
We're not nearly as affectionate...and honestly I really miss being that lovey-dovey couple everyone gets sick of watching. It's not me who is less affectionate, it's definitely him. He says that after a year together you don't have to be super affectionate anymore, because it just gets tiring. Sucks to hear that but if that's how he feels, then I don't want to push the issue. Making someone show affection is worse than just not getting it. We still have some affection outside of the bedroom though. Now if THAT dwindles, we'll have a problem but for now I'm fine with things.
oliveoyle625 oliveoyle625 9 years
I really hold it dear. Its a great constant reminder and can be so thoughtful and special to be able to share that with someone you love so much.
Sporky Sporky 9 years
My ex-husband was not very affectionate at all but my boyfriend more than makes up for it and I don't know how I got on without it for so long. However, we only say "I love you" on special occasions. Neither one of us like to say it all the time (even though we know the love we have for each other is definitely there and very strong) because we feel it makes it less powerful. I guess we're kind of weird that way.
pippins_halfling pippins_halfling 9 years
I love affection, and I really couldn't live without!
zabrow zabrow 9 years
i like a lot of affection. hand holding, cuddling, back scratches, little kisses, nicknames, etc. my parents weren't ever very affectionate with each other even though they loved each other a lot, so i'm not sure where my love of affection comes from.
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 9 years
extremely important at least for me even if its just an a$$ grab :P
tomatoshirt tomatoshirt 9 years
mondaymoos - my parents never kissed or hugged or hold hands in front of me... and i am 24 yrs old... it works for them i guess, but i can't live like that....
tomatoshirt tomatoshirt 9 years
Brielleblonde is right. letting the other person know you love him/her is very important. But everyone is different, some people are more affectionate than other. so whatever floats your boat I guess... Personally, I like/need to hear my bf say he loves me everyday. And i love when he hugs me tightly while he is sleeping or not letting me go when i try to get out of the bed.
RaCheer RaCheer 9 years
I like constant affection...I think it makes us feel close. I don't think it's the same for every relationship but it's something that I like and I'm glad my boyfriend cherishes it just as much.
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