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Relationship Protocol: Do You Fake it?

In case you missed it, Oprah dedicated her first week back from holiday vacation to living your best life. She covered diet, money, spirituality, and of course, sex! Dr. Laura Berman is back on today's show with tips on how we can all have a better sex life in 2009. One thing she focus' on is faking an orgasms. According to Dr. Berman, 70 percent of women have faked orgasms on a regular basis, if not once or twice, but if he thinks he's doing everything right, and if he continues to think you're getting pleasure by it, he'll never know how to really please you. In other words, you're doing yourself a huge disservice by "mercy faking" it!

So to those of you in a committed, long-term relationship, tell me, do you fake it when you're having sex with your significant other, and if so, how often? Don't worry, your secrets are safe here!

Join The Conversation
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
Yes. Guys like to think they are giving you multiple orgasms. I have NEVER been able to. They just need encouragement and if you can fake it well to ensure future sex... why not?
Miss-Bones Miss-Bones 8 years
When I was with my first boyfriend I faked it, now with my current I don't have to!
wtfbihy wtfbihy 8 years
When I dated a guy who never once cared if I came, I faked occasionally. With guys that refused to cum before me, even though they were terrible, I definitely faked it (and most likely broke it off soon after). With my husband now, there is absolutely no reason to. He is the best I've ever had.
itsheathermfruth itsheathermfruth 8 years
I have totally faked it, sometimes you just know the guy is never going to get the job done so it's easier to fake it and move on then make the poor guy struggle.
Shadowdamage Shadowdamage 8 years
Never, and I never have to. He's very polite that way. ;) Rawr.
snowysakurasky snowysakurasky 8 years
i don't fake it; there may have been times in the past that it would have been practical, but i have no confidence in my acting abilities :S
karlotta karlotta 8 years
Never have, never will.
Vaadsfweytes Vaadsfweytes 8 years
I agree with mondaymoos. I usually have extremely easy time coming, even with guys who aren't that good in bed. But, there are one of those days every couple of months when I'm anxious/stressed/tired with work, then I fake. Thankfully more than 99% of the time, my guy can give me multiple x multiple orgasms, though.
Meike Meike 8 years
Nope! I have never been dishonest with my husband. When I'm über tired and can't come, he's man enough to understand it's not about him. We're both satisfied when we come during sex and we're both satisfied when we don't come. Sometimes sex is just about the intimacy and not the big O.
ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
i have from time to time. it's interesting - when you're with someone for so long, you can tell when it's going to end well and when it's not and sometimes you just have to take matters into your own hands. i've been known to fake it a time or two just because the thought of hours of something that just won't end well isn't all that exciting for me.
Marci Marci 8 years
Oh please, there are people who say never? I can't believe that, unless you're not living together. There are just those occasional nights when it's late, you have to be up early and things are just not happening. I do stress 'occasional' but I don't feel ashamed that sometimes real life takes it toll. That's just the way it goes.
starangel82 starangel82 8 years
Dang Party! I love it... maybe I should adopt that mentality. :) I have on occasion, but I don't make a habit of it. If he ain't doing it for me, then I'll let him know. But I'm also among those with the stubborn body. I just can't get there every time. And I do agree, sex with the right person can be amazing with or without the orgasm.
MegN MegN 8 years
I've never set out to fake an orgasm. But I've been known to get a little loud during sex and if afterwards the guy says "You climaxed that time didn't you?" instead of "Did you orgasm?" I'll generally make a non committal noise they take as affirmation. I've also exaggerated my... enthusiasm for something a guy is doing when I know it's the only time we'll be fooling around and he's told me he's very good at it (there are somethings I just can't get into. Doesn't mean he's bad at them)
soapybub soapybub 8 years
subtleheights, I agree with you one hundred percent. Just because you don't orgasm doesn't mean you don't enjoy sex. When everything about the act of 'making love' is focused around the nervous energy of achieving an orgasm, it takes away from everything that sex should be about in the first place. I have orgasmed before, but I know my body is just a little stubborn. I'm only 21, maybe I'm one of those women who aren't going to frequently orgasm until I'm in my 30's. Sometimes (most times) it just doesn't happen. I'm in total agreement in that if the guy is doing all that you've told him, and if you're satisfied with the sex you're having, why put so much unneeded stress on a loving relationship? I guess it just matters what's important to you. On the other hand, I'm all for pleasure, and I LOVE sex. If it's not good, I'm not happy. But if your guy is doing all that you've told him, and you're enjoying the sex that you're having, why stress him out over an orgasm?
Sweetytart Sweetytart 8 years
I've never had an orgasm and i fake it all the time with my current boyfriend because he is the only one who has ever cared if i have an orgasm. However, i don't think its possible for me to have one nor do i really care anymore. Sex still feels good without one tho !
khadeekiinsz khadeekiinsz 8 years
I don't have to have an orgasm, for it to feel amazing. It still does even if I dont have that BIG O. It is true, we dont need an orgasm, its just a plus.
dm8bri dm8bri 8 years
Never have with my current bf. Then again, he's really focused on and INTO getting me off. I started to have to w/ my ex because he was a self-absorbed asshole in and out of the bedroom...after about a month of that I dumped him.
sham28 sham28 8 years
"men dont understand that a woman can be okay with not having an orgasm" I've gotten that impression from a few boyfriends I've had too. I even got an apology once. I was like, "what? we just did it for an hour and I'm literally still grinning at you!" He was really preoccupied with the did- she or didn't- she.
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 8 years
I will be honest here, I fake it sometimes, not that my hubby isnt skilled, its my issue with being too tired! Is it harmful, no. and i dare anyone to tell me it is. if you look at it this way, I enjoy the sex, its not like I am laying there counting the ceiling fan rotations, but if My body is exhausted than its a no go on the O, and we all stroke our mens ego in different ways, Mine? is to make him feel like he can be comfortable knowing i am satisfied, which I am, but men dont understand that a woman can be okay with not having an orgasm, if you go and go and go and there is nothing...but you are loving it anyway! and he finishes and you dont, he will be apologetic and the last thing i need is that conversation! so i occasionaly stroke his ego......:)
VicVicVictooriaa VicVicVictooriaa 8 years
towards the beginning of our sex i did because i really wasnt sure what an orgasm would feel like (i was a virgin) but now 9 months into the relationship 8 1/2 months having sex...about 7 months ago I did not fake because I understood what I wanted and now I get that almost every time. But if I don't, no complaints, it still feels amazing...:)
Angela123 Angela123 8 years
Well, I just broke up with my boyfriend, but when we were together I didn't fake it, ever. I never have, in fact. Why lie? I WANT to get mine! PartySugar, you're my new hero.
bluestar bluestar 8 years
Chrstne Chrstne 8 years
Yep, I do. NOT know why I do, anyway. Sometimes I get there, a lot of times, I just...can't. I do with LOTS of foreplay...but sometimes it's just SUCH a hassle to wait forever to be really super turned on.
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