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Relationship Protocol: A History of Cheating

While the majority of you may be skilled at keeping history right where it belongs, there are certainly some things from the past that once known, require a lingering thought or two, like children from a previous relationship, a traumatic incident in childhood, or cheating.

Though I don’t think the familiar catch phrase “once a cheater always a cheater” is necessarily true, if I found out that a significant other had cheated in a previous relationship then I would be concerned. But perhaps I’m just paranoid, so what do you think? If you knew he had cheated before, would it make you think differently of him? Or would it have no bearing on your current relationship?

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JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 8 years
I don't know if I'd want to know but I definitely wouldn't ask. It's only going to make me suspicious.
looseseal looseseal 8 years
What a weird photo. I'd only consider someone who has cheated worth my time if he sincerely regrets it and the experience had turned him off of cheating for life. So no to anyone with a "pattern". Instant "talk-to-the-hand" style dismissal for anyone who spouts any of the classic cheater excuses: 1) It was a bad relationship (if it was bad, get the hell out instead of adding another complication to the mix) 2) I felt responsible so I couldn't leave (but not responsible enough to not cheat, how noble of you, truly you are a saint amongst men) 3) It was bad timing (oh, look at that, we're out of time. Good bye.) 4) There's no right and wrong in love (so it's okay to become a psychopath, which is someone with no sense of right and wrong, when you think you're in love. Lovely.) 5) I couldn't help myself (another minnow adrift in the sea of life. No thanks. Give me a man with a spine.) 6) You wouldn't understand (ooh, you're so deep *eyeroll*) 7) I was living in the moment (you were in something, alright, but it wasn't "the moment") 8) No one is perfect/I'm not a saint (I'm not a saint, either. Would it be okay if I kick you in the balls right now?) 9) Everyone does it (I'm not everyone, and you're now no one to me. Dismissed.) 10) It's natural (Nature, Mr. Allnut, is what we were put on this earth to rise above.) Sincerity can be kind of hard to tell, though. I do generally take a "trust no one" attitude when it comes to men until they earn my trust.
Muirnea Muirnea 8 years
Hahahhaha, snowbunny!!! hilarious!!! I would be out of that relationship so fast, the guy wouldn't know what happened...and he would never hear from me again to figure it out...and that' all there is to it.
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 8 years
This would be more of a dealbreaker than if his name was Harold. ;)
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
It means you'd be with somebody who isn't very good at communicating when they are unhappy with the relationship and who is likely to resort to desperate measures in order to make themselves happy. It means you are with somebody who has put their own happiness first at the sake of somebody elses in the past... I'd be wary!
Marci Marci 8 years
I don't know, I equate cheating with lying, and my experience has been that people who lie don't change much. It's one thing to be a major player and quite another to be in a committed relationship and cheat. So I'd have issues with the cheater but not the major player who didn't pretend to commit.
LadyAngel89 LadyAngel89 8 years
It would play up to a lot of different factors for me. I mean if the guy cheated on all of his girlfriends and was a player at 16-18yrs old vs. 25-30+ years old then that would hold a lot of weight with me.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
I'm with Joesbabygirl. It depends on the circumstances he was in, and what his previous relationship was like.
almost-famous almost-famous 8 years
@IMS Yes!!!! That's who it is!! Big time player and stopped playing when he fell for her! I love when players are players and calm down when they meet the right one. However, that doesn't mean he stopped as soon as they got into a relationship. Warren probably still had his cheating ways, it's just that she stayed there and he finally gave in.
Greentea1203 Greentea1203 8 years
i'd be very cautious and want to know the reasoning behind it, maybe. My ex of three years cheated on me over and over, and I thought at the time it was just me, but he continues to do so with his new girlfriend of 9 months. He even cheated on her with me after they were only dating a few days. (i didn't know it at the time) He STILL tries to hook up with me. I think he's one of those guys that just gets a rush/high from cheating. UGH!
pippins_halfling pippins_halfling 8 years
I would be really cautious if I was dating a guy who had cheated in previous relationships. It would probably change the way I thought of him, and it may definitely be a reason not to date him.
joesbabygirl joesbabygirl 8 years
It would depend on the situation he was in. I know it sounds bad but it would. If they had a perfect relationship with almost no big problems it would be a huge red flag. But just because he did it once doesn't mean he would do it again!!
xojennifer xojennifer 8 years
In my opinion, the phrase "once a cheater always a cheater" is true.. IF, its in the same couple, know what I mean? Lets say He cheated on She, and they broke up. And then came back together, chances are he will cheat again. I think the only thing that would change He would be finding that one girl. And well if he cheated on you before, chances are youre not it.
drhotie92 drhotie92 8 years
Everyone deserves a second chance to prove themselves so thats not a problem for me.
lms lms 8 years
Almost famous...I was thinking of Warren Beatty and Annette Bening. Is that who you were thinking of? I wouldn't hold it against someone if they said that they cheated in a previous relationship. I would see how things went with me.
Jude-C Jude-C 8 years
Cheating once, especially if the cheater was young, could be chalked up to a mistake made. But a pattern of cheating is definitely a red flag.
italianblonde italianblonde 8 years
I am so against cheating, probably because it broke up my parent's marriage. But also because I just don't get it-if you want to be with more than one person at once, DON'T be in a relationship, it's not that hard! So yes I would not want to date someone with a history of cheating, because I would constantly be thinking they're lying, and I hate being suspicious or unsure of love.
almost-famous almost-famous 8 years
@ tomatoshirt, I guess, but he used to be a BIG time player...
lauraxtc lauraxtc 8 years
If a guy or girl has cheated before in a previous relationship, I would say they could be capable of doing it again. But that doesn't mean they are. You have to see signs of infidelity and if he/she starts acting differently then I would say keep an eye out because that could be signs of cheating.
zabrow zabrow 8 years
if he had cheated consistently on every single girlfriend he'd had, then there'd be no way. BIIIG red flag. i had an ex-boyfriend tell me that he'd never cheated on any of his ex-girlfriends, only to find out (after he'd cheated on me) that he'd actually cheated on every one of them. soooo if i had known i could have saved myself some grief. but i think a one time cheater would just make me more cautious, it wouldn't make me totally write him off.
tomatoshirt tomatoshirt 8 years
almostfamous - Micheal Douglous?
almost-famous almost-famous 8 years
If he had Most of the qualities of my "dream man", then I'll give him the benefit of doubt... There are some men that WILL fall hard for the right woman. I forgot what white actor is was, but he used to be a big time player until his ass got married to the woman that changed him without even trying! Let love flow... If its meant to be, then it'll last.
pinkprincess1101 pinkprincess1101 8 years
if a guy had cheated in a previous relationship that would raise a red flag but i would still give the guy the benefit of a doubt, and not just judge him soley on that, i dont condone cheating so i really dont know i guess
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