Skip Nav
What Is It Like to Be in an Open Marriage? 1 Woman Shares Her Story
Popsugar Pride
24 Songs That Will Add Some Oomph to Your LGBTQ Pride Month Celebration
There's Literally a Video Game About Hot Dads Dating Other Dads and People Are Hyped

Relationship Protocol: Sharing Passwords

I’m a huge supporter of honesty and communication when in a relationship, but I’m still not sure about sharing passwords. Since most email accounts, voicemail boxes, and computers shouldn’t contain anything you wouldn’t want your significant other to have access to, it shouldn’t matter whether or not he has your information or you have his, but I still think that there’s something to be said for having a little privacy — even in a relationship.

It seems like having access might create too much temptation for curious minds, and even with the most innocent of intentions, snooping is always problematic. What do you think? Do you or would you share your passwords with your significant other? Do you expect him to share his with you?


Join The Conversation
littleblonde littleblonde 8 years
i have my bf's password to one of his email accounts that he gave me once to check something for him. i later asked him to change it so i wouldn't be tempted to snoop. ha, but he didn't because he said he didn't care.
untitled1 untitled1 8 years
I probably wouldn't ever share it with a significant other because if the relationship ends on a sour note how would I know what he would do with that? However, my mother, cousin, and best friend all know my password because I trust them with it. The only reason I gave it to my best friend was so one day she could check my email for me while we were on the phone because I couldn't check it.
ziolablu ziolablu 8 years
i know his passwords, but i don't use them to snoop. i'm fairly secure with what we have. he would rather not know mine... he doesn't want the opportunity.
kh61582 kh61582 9 years
I have some extensive experience with this. Occasionally my boyfriend would check his e-mail at my place and forget to sign out. It's not like I thought about it and wanted to snoop. I just casually took the opportunity to look a few times whenever that happened. The first time I did this I found some e-mails from a woman he had been seeing right before ( and I mean almost right on top of) the time he began dating me. I was really hurt because he had told me they were just friends and all the sudden every memory of that time became sour to me. I wished I hadn't found that out because he wasn't still seeing or even talking to her. Unfortunately it got me on the path of thinking that since he lied about that, what else was he keeping from me that I needed to know. It caused some distrust on my part but I didn't do much about it. The next time i had a chance to see his e-mail months later I found out something much worse. he had been e-mailing and calling another one of his ex girlfriends behind my back for nearly two months. She had even come to town while I was out of town and they had dinner. He claimed nothing happened and nothing in the e-mails suggested that something had happened but I was really pissed just the same. That's when i installed spyware on his computer to get his passwords and monitor everything. I should have broken up with him at that point because once you go there trust is totally gone. Still for a long time I had all his passwords and checked his e-mail regularly. I know mine is more a lesson about what happens when you snoop ( and of course when your boyfriend lies) but the truth is that if you have those passwards, you're going to use them and in the right type of relationship you shouldn't even want to.
shannon_xo shannon_xo 9 years
my boyfriend and i both know eachothers passwords for the most part...not all of them. like other people, its just not that important to us and we both have nothing to hide.
dukegirl dukegirl 9 years
I say no sharing passwords. Reason: I went snooping and will always regret reading what I found.
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
My boyfriend has mine because when I use his computer to sign onto things, he has to type it in for me...He doesn't like other people to touch his things on his desk. So, he saw me typing in my password when we started dating, and since that's my generic password for almost everything, he remembers it. I once said it wasn't fair that he always types in my passwords regardless of whether we're on his or my computer, so I felt I should know why he insists on not telling me his. He reluctantly did, though I said I didn't really want to know...Just to know he was willing to tell if I asked. Then, he went and changed it. So, I guess he got his privacy back, and I stopped feeling guilty for knowing someone's password (It's creepy!).
leeluvfashion leeluvfashion 9 years
I believe that if he is the right guy, he will trust me enough to have that privacy; I wouldn't give my password to anyone (ex: bf, bff, husband etc...)
bigestivediscuit bigestivediscuit 9 years
My bf and I know each others' Facebook and email passwords, as we've both had to call each other at one time or another to ask the other person to retrieve a message for us - or in some cases, answer really urgent emails while we were out of the country and didn't have access to computers/internet cafe. I can honestly say I have no interest in snooping about his personal business, especially his emails, and we often leave our inboxes open to each other whenever we're at each others' house (not on purpose, I mean it just happens to be up on the screen). I don't share my bank details, and neither does he. But I have on numerous occasions asked him to "hack" into my email account to retrieve an address, etc. I didn't have written down. I just don't think it's a big deal. If I was worried I could change my password.
Colleeninator Colleeninator 9 years
My fiance and I know all of eachother's passwords. Sometimes we tell eachother just so that we can ask if we forget. Neither of us are snoopy sort of people, but we often do things like call from a car to ask the other to check for an important email, or log on to pay a phone bill that the other one forgot about until the last minute. I agree that there's no need to know eachother's passwords, but for us it's become a convenience.
stefsprl stefsprl 9 years
My hubby and I know most (if not all) of each other's passwords, and I don't really see why it's a big deal. It's not like we sat down and listed them off for each other, but every once in awhile we'll need the other one to check something in an account when we're not at home. Plus, most of his passwords are very similar (which you're totally not supposed to do), so once I learned one I could pretty much figure out any of them. Honestly, though, it doesn't make me any more inclined to snoop into his accounts. I think if he was weird about me having access then I would be more suspicious than if he's willing to let me see everything.
Jennifer777 Jennifer777 9 years
I really think it depends on the type of person you are and the type of relationship you have. I know some of my husband's passwords but not all of them and I would never login and check anything w/o him asking me to and the same goes for him with me. I knew someone once who gave every single one of his passwords (phone, email, myspace, etc.) to his girlfriend... She has him on such a tight leash that he is running out of friends. She pretty much screens all of his emails and is sad and pathetic.
Pistil Pistil 9 years
We don't share passwords, I don't see the point. My ex-boyfriend gave me his email password, haha, mistake.
emalove emalove 9 years
My husband doesn't have a MySpace or anything like that...he DOES have an email account, but only because I set it up for him. I do know his password, but I'd never have a reason to check it. HE doesn't even check it...haha. He doesn't have any of my passwords, I'm sure he would be completely uninterested in reading my emails anyway.
kikidawn kikidawn 9 years
Oh for example. He is enrolling in a class for next fall and waiting on permission from his advisor. He is at work right now. Well, I checked his email for him and found the advisor had given permission so I let him know and he asked me to enroll him (which requires password too) b/c he needs to get enrolled NOW! As in can't wait until he comes home. Besides he's lazy and I take care of that for him usually.
kikidawn kikidawn 9 years
Yes we have each other's passwords. Bank accounts (we share an account and I know his signon and account password and he knows mine), emails (if I need to check his for him or he for me), pin numbers, etc. If something were to happen and someone needed into my accounts (bank, email, university) then someone needs to know those things. Well, it's no longer my parents who know it so it's him. We've been together for 5 1/2 years now and I trust him and he trusts me. It's not a matter of checking up on each other. Oh and he doesn't have myspace or facebook like I do so I don't have those passwords... I think he knows mine though.
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 9 years
I don't see the need. Hell, this could evoke trust issues. When someone is given an opportunity, i dont put it beyond them to not exercise it or take advantage.
miriah15 miriah15 9 years
wow what a HUGE no no!
sparklestar sparklestar 9 years
Me and my boyfriend don't share passwords. I guess there /are/ things on my computer I wouldn't want him to look at but thats just because we haven't crossed those bridges yet. i.e. my porn. :p
marcella marcella 9 years
i know all my husbands passwords, but it's really useful because of his horrible memory. he often asks me for his passwords -- since he never remembers! i never check anything of his without asking first -- and i seriously have no desire to read any of this boring emails. he knows my passwords (well, at least in theory -- the man has very short term memory) and i don't think he's interested in the least in my inbox as well.
aimeeb aimeeb 9 years
I agree Dear, what's really the point. I mean c'mon...
moxierain moxierain 9 years
No. Some things are just for you. I think if you suspect your bf or gf is cheating then its up to you to confront them about it. Its best to do it that way than to go behind their back.
TidalWave TidalWave 9 years
We don't share passwords because there is no need. I don't hide anything! but well, I have enough of my own things to remember!
bsglrok132 bsglrok132 9 years
I do have my husband's password, but I can't actually remember why he gave it to me. Anyway, I wouldn't ever use it unless I thought something weird was going that case I would definitely check his email first. My dad found out that my mom was cheating on him when he was looking at her email (he's not a snoop, he was looking for a piece of important info and couldn't get a hold of my mom).
linb linb 9 years
My boyfriend wouldn't know how to use a password if I shared it with him. He very rarely uses a computer, and never goes online. Although not the same, I do know his pin number and the code to get in to his voicemail, and I've told him mine but he never remembers it.
Am I a Tech-Savvy Parent?
How to See What Facebook Knows About You
How to Talk About Sexual Assault
Easy Password Tips
From Our Partners
Latest Love
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds