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Relationship Protocol: Teasing

It’s funny how maybe your boyfriend will tease you for being clumsy, you'll tease him for forgetting where he left his keys — whatever it is, it's those kinds of jokes that make being in a relationship fun. flirting often takes the guise of playful teasing.

But sometimes the more established a relationship becomes, the more likely those gentle pokes become a way to release aggression rather than affection. I’ve seen teasing ruin many relationships, so now I happen to think that teasing is best avoided. Maybe I'm just being too paranoid, so ladies, what do you think? Has playful teasing ever turned into a conflict for you or is it just harmless fun?


Muirnea Muirnea 9 years
Everything in moderation. That saying works for everything in the world. Its fine, until its to much, lol. :)
skigurl skigurl 9 years
my ex and i had a private joke where we'd say if one was going out without the other "you can only get 3 numbers tonight" but then it turned unfunny when i found out he had been cheating on me lots, with girls at bars
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
I try to draw a line. I'll tease just to be funny, but if I have issues about a particular behavior or quirk my boyfriend has, I'll tell him straightforward, instead of masking it in a joke. My boyfriend often jokes about sleeping with other women/having other girlfriends and about my being dumb because I make a few careless mistakes or goofs with semantics. Sometimes, he might nag me about it for half an hour, just constantly joking or being overly elaborate about his sexcapades with the other (fake) girlfriends, and it gets OLD.
aimeeb aimeeb 9 years
I hate when this happens. I've had both my family, boyfriend and friends start to tease me about something and just won't let up. It can often go sour pretty quickly.
Ster Ster 9 years
I get the feeling that guys don't always know where to draw the line ... there's a very fine line between playful teasing and hurtful comments. My bf liked to make jokes about my weight (dangerzone!), like groaning when I sat on his lap etc. At some point I got really upset about it and he just didn't understand why. His reasoning: "you're so obviously not fat, that any jokes about that are nothing more than that ... jokes. I'd never do it if you were actually fat." I tried to explain to him that it made me really insecure (once is funny, five makes you think ... is he trying to tell me something?) and made the comparison for him: what if I constantly joked about your "small penis"? Even though it's not small and we both know that, wouldn't it gnaw at you and make you wonder if I was secretly unsatisfied? He never made a weight joke since :-)
glam-sugar glam-sugar 9 years
There's a point where teasing just isn't good because it does start to become tiresome and/or mean.
bengalspice bengalspice 9 years
I agree. There should always be a point when the teasing should stop.
skigurl skigurl 9 years
i agree with you Dear! i started dating a guy right around the time i started a new job straight out of college. i wasn't sure what i was doing everyday at work because it was my first real job and i was thrown in head first, and i was abiding by the "fake it til you make it" rule...i told him that, and in the beginning of our relationship we joked about how i was faking it at work all the time and pretending to be was fun at first, as he would write me emails asking how my fake day was and all that, and it was cute. but then as the relationship progressed, and my career progressed, he didn't let it go, and it got to the point that he was making fun of me to my family members and friends, saying how all i do is pretend to work and fake my way through became unfunny and hurt my feelings, and i distinctly got the feeling that he didn't support my career, while i was seriously supporting his the relationship ended shortly thereafter
kiwitwist kiwitwist 9 years
I agree with you Dear. I have seen far too many 'teasing' turn into something hurtful. Even if it is someone in your family that is teasing. You get to the point where enough is enough and it is no longer fun.
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