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Relationship Protocol: When Is the Right Time to Bring Up Sexual History?

There are many amazing moments in the beginning of a new relationship, but there is an equal number of awkward and mildly terrifying moments, too. Learning about his sexual history and giving him yours, including your number of sexual partners and any STI exposure risks, can be very revealing.

Though often there is shame if you feel inexperienced or guilt if you feel too experienced, sharing this information is important for the emotional growth in your relationship and for your sexual health. But it's difficult to decide when this conversation should take place — certainly not on the first date, but hopefully before the first sexual encounter. So ladies, when is the right time to bring up your sexual history?


michelle-c42934 michelle-c42934 9 years
Never.....unless there is an STI involved. I'm quite comfortable with my sexual history though as I have only been intimate with two ex-boyfriends, with whom I was in long term relationships with. So I don't think any prospective partners would find it daunting. I'm not really that interested in a guys sexual history as I wouldn't want to compare myself.
rashell rashell 9 years
my boyfriend and i talked about this the VERY FIRST NIGHT we had a phone conversation (right at the beginning of it all) if you can't talk about this, then you shouldn't date. they have the right to know. i found out he's been around and that i should have him tested, so it worked to my advantage!!!!!!!!!
lightheaded lightheaded 9 years
before you have sex
AmyLyn AmyLyn 9 years
Ok, some people may disagree with me but I go with never...on sexual STI past ONLY. I think you ABSOLUTLY need to share with your partner if you have any STI's and also when/how often you've been tested, as well as your last STD/HIV test...and I think you should both go before becoming intimate, it's just good sense nowadays! What I disagree with, and this is really just a personal pref, is giving your guy your past and your numbers. I'm a jealous person and it's going to bum me out to hear who and how many girls he's had before me. The same goes for me, I don't want anyone judging me on my past....your past should not affect your current relationship, and no matter how "cool" each of you says you'll never really works out that way. So, why should it matter if I tell him I've been with x number of guys as long as i'm STI free and have been recently tested? So, STI check...YES, numbers...No!
bbkf bbkf 9 years
before you become intimate at all.
mia804c mia804c 9 years
I agree with shernic82 and meike. Definitely BEFORE you have sex. STIs don't need any extra help getting around.
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
I don't necessarily care how MANY women, but I will ask if they've been checked and make sure they don't have any infections or diseases. We get into the nitty gritty later.
lickety-split lickety-split 9 years
akward, really? humm, well i'm married now but when i was single i never felt akward discussing it with someone i was dating. by the time i was sleeping with them we knew each other well enough that almost nothing was akward. why would you want to get naked with someone that you weren't really comfortable with?
MisterPinkNoTip MisterPinkNoTip 9 years
I agree meike, although it is seriously awkward, it is necessary. Sugar should have added a "tips to help make this conversation less awkward" section, although that might be impossible haha.
kikidawn kikidawn 9 years
never?! please tell me your joking! You should share before sexual intimacy. Maybe not all the juicy (lol) details, but you need to tell your (and know his) important information.
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 9 years
Before or around second base, with plenty of time before going to third (where you start sharing bodily fluids).
Meike Meike 9 years
Before you get intimate, seriously. STIs are spreading like wildfire because people think it's a taboo subject to bring up into a new relationship. They don't realize how important it is to have that conversation until it's too late.
shernic82 shernic82 9 years
Before you have sex, whenever that is for you.
bentstoker bentstoker 9 years
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 9 years
oooh awkward
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