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No Reply? Here's Why

No Reply? Here's Why

Here's a post from OnSugar blog Rantings of a Single Girl.

I know when it comes to online dating, my techniques aren't perfect. I'm sure I do a lot of things that are "wrong" in the online dating world. One thing I have never done and will never do is send a message that you can't make sense of.

What am I talking about? Messages like: "hey." or "r u married?" or "u have a nice smile. so waz up?" I think that's the biggest complaint I hear from women in the online dating world. Nothing turns us off faster than to get incomplete and hard-to-comprehend messages.

Not only are these messages hard to reply to, they just don't make sense. I know it's nerve wracking to come up with the first or second message. I really understand that. But if I can take the time to study someone's profile and come up with intelligent questions, then so can you.


So while I'm at it, I'll just throw my second message pet peeve out there.

To see what it is,


Not only does the short message turn me off, but so does a message with bad grammar or spelling. I'm not a total grammar-Nazi. Lord knows I'm not perfect when it comes to grammar and spelling. Yet when someone messages me with mistake after mistake, I start to think that they just don't care. Kind of like writing "r" for "are" . . . could you please just take the extra two seconds to type the 'a' and 'e'?

So here is the bottom line, gents. If you are wondering why women aren't replying to your messages, take a look at the content. The solution just might be in front of you.

Want to see more? Start following Rantings of a Single Girl or start your own OnSugar blog. Maybe your stories will be posted here on TrèsSugar!

Image Source: Getty
annualoptimist annualoptimist 7 years
i am equally frustrated with the range of ridiculous and mildly insulting messages i get online. so frustrated in fact, that i've created a blog to vent.. i welcome contributions. apologies if it's not ok to post a blog address on here!
medenginer medenginer 7 years
I'm not perfect about my grammar but most of the time I do use spell check. I wouldn't dismiss someone because their grammar wasn't perfect because I'm not perfect either. I think there is a difference between the occasional slip and constant use of shortcuts that is to what I was referring. I wouldn't want to spend all my time trying to figure out what that person meant to say.
Veka Veka 7 years
Your/You're and to/too/two and their/there/they're are my BIGGEST pet peeves!!! Don't even get me started! But I get paid for my grammar skills.
skigurl skigurl 7 years
medenginer...very ironic that in your post about proofreading and using bad grammar, you made one of the most common yet most annoying mistakes of your and you're
chillchic chillchic 7 years
That's my mom's pet peeve too. No matter how cute a guy is, she won't give him a chance if he can't spell, uses too many short cuts or has poor grammar. She says it makes them seem dumb.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 7 years
Grammar and spelling is so important. It may be b*tchy, but I automatically assume that people are less intelligent if they make stupid errors.
medenginer medenginer 7 years
One of my requirements for dating. If you can't make intelligent conversation and use spell check your not even considered.
Pistil Pistil 7 years
Sweetpea, I think nerves are understandable even online. You still want to make a good impression, right? But don't worry, the more messages you send out, the more comfortable you'll feel, and it won't matter if that one guy doesn't reply because you have other potential prospects. In terms of guys who can't be bothered to type/spell properly: I hate seeing anyone type like that. You have a full keyboard in front of you, don't you?
zzleigh zzleigh 7 years
Oh my god, thank you so much for echoing my sentiment on poor spelling and/or "internet speak". I've been using the "take the time to hit two extra freaking keys" argument for years. I mean, it's not THAT difficult to type a normal, intelligible sentence and it certainly does go a long way. Whenever I would get messages with "ur hot" or anything similar, I'd immediately hit the delete key.
skigurl skigurl 7 years
why is it "nerve wracking" to write a message or two? it's's not scary. what's scary is actually introducing yourself to a cute guy in public. just go for it. send something witty, obviously use good grammar and ask intelligent questions, but why oh why would you be nervous? it's the friggin' internet
starangel82 starangel82 7 years
Well first of all, don't let yourself get psyched out. If you start to, remind yourself that one, he may or not be into you and that's okay.... that's what internet dating is all about. And two, that you won't know if your his type unless you actually send the message. :) It took me a long time to learn how to write a good 'I'm interested' message. Just say something like "Hi.... you're profile caught my eye." Then easiest thing to do is really read his profile. Ask him a question or two about something in his profile. If he says he likes sports, then ask him what sports and what teams he roots for. Maybe mention that you play whatever or cheer for XYZ. Finish off with a "hope you're having a good day" or "hope to hear from you soon". Viola... a first message is done before you you know it.
sweetpeabrina sweetpeabrina 7 years
I agree. Completely. My problem is completely different. I don't even know what to say to start off an "I'm interested" email. Blech. Then I psych myself out that I'm not even their type so I may as well not even try. Geez. I need so much help with online dating, it's pathetic.
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