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Is There A Right Time To Get Pregnant?

Dear Sugar
I have been with my wonderful husband for eight years and married for three. Both of us are very dedicated to our careers but are very excited to start a family one day. We have decided to wait two to three years before getting pregnant in order to give us more time to climb the corporate ladder.

However, lately it seems as though everyone around us is getting pregnant and I am feeling the tick-tock of my biological clock. I feel like we've been saying two or three more years for the couple of years and I have been finding myself asking, why wait any longer?

My husband and I would ideally like to establish our careers and eventually move back to our hometown but that just seems like it will still take a few more years. I know that every couple is different, but do you have any idea when a good or ideal time is to start a family?

I am 27 and my husband is 30. I still feel like that is fairly young, however since we have been together for so long, we've travelled and done many of the things new couples wait on having children to do. How will we know when we are ready? Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated. No Family Plan Jan

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear No Family Plan Jan
Unfortunately only you and your husband can really answer that question. All I can is that if the time is right for those around you, it doesn't necessarily mean that the time is right for you. If you and your husband want to dedicate more time to building your carers, than waiting is the best plan.

When you are ready to prepare for pregnancy, make sure to visit your doctor. If you are taking oral contraceptives, it is best to stop taking them two to three months before trying to conceive. Maintaining a healthy diet, a healthy weight, and keeping to a routine exercise schedule will help prepare your body for pregnancy and labor.

Enjoy learning about your friends and co-workers pregnancies and take in all the tips you can. Don't let the feeling of time or a lack strict plan pressure you. When the time is right, you will feel a longing and anticipation for a child. You don't want to have any regrets, so if your career is your top priority now, you certainly have the time to hold out on having children.

Join The Conversation
ethiopian_princess ethiopian_princess 10 years
When YOU want to have children because you're ready emotionally, financially, etc. It seems like you have a solid relationship with your husband. That's a good sign, but don't go off the pill just yet. Have children when you really want to. It's not a contest.
Twinkle1 Twinkle1 10 years
That's good advice Ima.
druscilla druscilla 10 years
Get a dog!
el_roach_0 el_roach_0 10 years
i don't really think there is a "right time." before i got pregnant (i am 4 months along), my b/f and i wanted to wait until we were both settled in our careers, but then i got pregnant! LOL we are so freaking happy about it and we are both still going forward with our original plans, just a baby is on the way. i'm still working full-time and going to school 3 nights a week plus he is working also, trying to start his own business. i think that things just kinda work out! but i guess that's not for everyone! we couldn't be happier!
gossipqueen gossipqueen 10 years
THIS is how I see it....if you get pregnant at 30 your kid will be going to College when you're 50 and maybe getting married when you're 60...would you like to be that old for the wedding?? LOL...that said...i think 30 is a good age.
DesignRchic DesignRchic 10 years
Ima, that's really great advice! My hubby and I are wondering "When's the right time?" We've enjoyed our time together as much as possible. But there's never the 'perfect' moment to have a baby. I too would discuss it with your husband. Sometimes the motherly itch comes along and puts it on your heart. Almost like a motherly instinct. But as Toxxic mentioned after you're over 30, expect to have possible complications.
SaRaH-22 SaRaH-22 10 years
My mom had my sister when she was 35(we are 12 years apart!) and she had a lot of problem through out the whole pregnancy and my sister was sick was sick too. But most important is to be 100% ready!! But then again thats just advice from a girl with no babys yet! ~*~Carmel APple Martini~*~
pinkandgreenj pinkandgreenj 10 years
Okay, I am very similar to you. Well, almost. Hubby and I have been together 11 years, married about 3.5, and we are 27 and 28. Am I ready to be pregnant? Heck no. Is he? No. Can we afford to do so? Yes. Frankly, he may be ready a lot earlier than me. Babies are nice and all, but right now, I like my freedom. My friends with kids show me how much things change after you start- the responsibilities, the late nights, the expenses. If you or your husband are not 110% ready for that, it is tough on a marriage. I have seen it happen too many times. Don't listen to everyone telling you what to do. There are plently of people who have safe pregnancies after 30. You have to do what is right for you and your husband.
Imabeliever Imabeliever 10 years
You need to talk to your husband and see if he feels he is ready. Sure most babies aren't planned and no there is no real perfect time to have a baby. But enjoy not having them if you can too. Make sure to travel and do all of the little things that you won't be doing for a long time after they are born.. like sleeping or taking a relaxing bubble bath.. or going away for the night without it taking three weeks of planning and worrying about them the entire time!! :) If being in your hometown means being close to family..also a big plus for waiting. It really helps to have an extra pair of hands when the baby is born and free trustworthy babysitters. Don't feel like you have to rush. And probably best not to suprise with the hubby with a hey I'm pregnant unless he feels the same way you do! Good luck! :)
t0xxic t0xxic 10 years
Ill be a smart ass an say that the right time to get pregnant is when you ovulating to haha ;) ;) -------------------- -------------------- Secret Santa Guidelines are up Check them out and double check your on my list!
t0xxic t0xxic 10 years
I will say that having a baby after 35 is risky for awhile they said babies after 30 were risky but theyve settled on 35-40 causing not only problems for baby but mom as well. GL its really just up to you guys. And remember it all works out in the end no matter when you do it -------------------- -------------------- Secret Santa Guidelines are up Check them out and double check your on my list!
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