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Roommate Crush Advice

Group Therapy: On the Rebound Plus a Hot New Roommate . . . Bad Idea?

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I'd like to consider myself a smart woman who knows right from wrong, so I don't know if it's normal for myself to be worrying about this AS much as I am, or is it just my emotional state?

My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. I was pretty sad about it and still am, but have been doing relatively well. I do feel a little "on the rebound" though. I haven't been searching for anyone yet because it's only been a week!! But I just feel it. I feel so hurt and confused by the break up that I think it would be nice just to have a guy distraction.


So here is the real issue. While my boyfriend and I were still together, I was in desperate need of a new roommate. I found this guy that was a perfect candidate! I don't know him but after chatting on Skype (for 2 hours), I realized how hot and cool he is. We have a lot in common and I think we could really be best friends. But all of my friends that have seen pictures of him are making remarks and jokes about how hot he is . . . how he and I are going to get drunk one night and hook up . . . fall in love . . . get jealous. Stuff like that. When I was still with my boyfriend I wasn't worried at all about the fact that he's extremely good looking because I knew that I loved my boyfriend and I would never do that to ANY boyfriend. I also felt more protected, like, the roommate would steer clear of me because I had a boyfriend. He is moving in in a week and I no longer have a boyfriend. He asked me about him the other day and I had to tell him about the breakup! Now I'm wondering if he has the same worries?

Am I over thinking this? Does anyone have any ideas on how this can be avoided?


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Join The Conversation
Helen-Danger Helen-Danger 6 years
This isn't Three's Company. You need to be able to have a businesslike aspect to your relationship with a roomie. Emotional attachment to someone this convenient when you're all vulnerable like this is a bad idea. You'll just end up having ANOTHER breakup with this guy. And it'll be way too soon for you to handle yet another emotional disappointment with any sort of composure.
Helen-Danger Helen-Danger 6 years
Go out with him. Have fun. He sounds like an excellent rebound. Find a different roommate, though. Seriously about that.
njau njau 6 years
I think you have to only worry that 1) there will be no getting back together with the ex 2) If you do hook up with the new roommate and it only is a hook up NO relationship, will it become awkward 3) What if it turns into more, now the roommate turns into a 'living together' situation, what are your thoughts on that There is nothing wrong with being attracted to him! Remember you are a single lady.
pax4pax pax4pax 6 years
I count it strange that you're getting a roommate whom you've only known via a two-hour chat on Skype. Why the rush? If he weren't your roommate, exploration could be handled safely. However, since he's there with you, you should find out more before you get closer. Know your target better.
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