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Rules and Tips For Casual Sex

Do Tell: What Are Your Rules For Casual Sex?

I never noticed the similarities between a friends with benefits relationship and a temp job, until I watched this adorable little vid explaining how to have casual sex. It presents a pretty solid set of rules that can be applied to both temp jobs and FWB arrangements, including "don't leave anything there" and "don't expect special treatment on your birthday." Hilarious, but also great advice.

Have you ever been in a friends with benefits relationship? If so, what rules and tips would you offer for others getting into the temping game? Or would you just recommend people avoid it completely?

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AmandaKrups AmandaKrups 8 years
Oh, and I forgot to mention that I don't care enough about sex (or need it that much) that I would ever want or need a friends with benefits situation. I only enjoy it because it's with my husband whom I love completely and trust implicitly and enjoy getting closer to during the act. I think the point of a friends with benefits situation is that you don't want to get closer to them (except in the naked sense). And it's to satisfy your sexual urges, which I don't really have all that often.
c4rolin3 c4rolin3 8 years
if casual sex works, then it works well. unfortunately in my experience or from friends experience, you can't avoid two things: 1. The girl gets too attached and wants something more or a relationship. 2. The boy assumes the girl will get too attached and want a relationship which he doesn't. I was casually seeing someone for a while, mainly going back to each others houses after a night out, or we'd be together if we were out in a group of people. However for him, even the change to arranging to have sex was too much. Even the code 'Come over and watch a dvd'... provoked the response 'I don't want a girlfriend'. I said 'what part of come over for some sex makes you think I want a boyfriend!' Sometimes with casual sex it's recognising when it works is why it works. Girls don't always want more, boys shouldn't expect that girls will. In my experience when it's worked out well it really has. Just as you may decide you don't want to go on dates with someone anymore and it fizzles out, the same can happen with casual sex. There doesn't have to be an official end or a time when it all explodes - it can just fade away and you have some good fun times to reflect on. If you see sex as something which has to have an emotional connection not just a physical connection then obviously it's not for you. I do prefer sex in a relationship as it means more, but sometimes there's nothing better than an encounter with someone which you've been craving for years!
PeachyKeen19 PeachyKeen19 8 years
blog.girlsgonemild.com/2007/12/sadie-hawkins-b.html nytimes.com/2007/08/12/weekinreview/12kolata.html?_r=2&oref=slogin jezebel.com/5226420/culture-has-more-to-do-with-promiscuity-than-evolution jezebel.com/5161163/why-is-there-no-sperm+killing-birth-control-pill
PeachyKeen19 PeachyKeen19 8 years
Oh, Weffie and AngelineZoe...everyone was stating their opinion maybe passionately but still politely except for you two. So unecessary, I also think you sound like emotionally repressed women.
PeachyKeen19 PeachyKeen19 8 years
I agree with the first 3 comments...also, if sex could be casual (and I'm not even talking about feelings) why did we have to stick the word casual at the front of it. Wouldn't it be a given?
sontaikle sontaikle 8 years
@GlowingMoon - I'm also not the type for it. It's not for me, but I'm not going to judge anyone who does it. It's your body, you're free to do what you want with it. Just like I'm free to do what I want with mine.
totygoliguez totygoliguez 8 years
Casual sex is kind of tricky. SOMETIMES one of the parties involve ends up gets hurt. I have never had casual sex and I don't think I'm capable of doing it( its not that I think is immoral is just that I'm afraid I'll end up getting hurt) I think that the number one rule should be being on the same page. You have to be conscious that it poorly physical that most likely the relationship is not going farther than SEX, and please use protection 'cause he or she is probably sleeping with someone else.
AngelineZoe AngelineZoe 8 years
weffie, your comment rules.
AngelineZoe AngelineZoe 8 years
Lol wow, some of you need to get the sand out of your vaginas. I've had a friends with benefits, and had some one night stands. Guess what? I WASNT LOOKING FOR LOVE OR A BEST FRIEND. I just wanted sex. God, why is that so hard for some women to understand? I never went crying to my best friends about whether or not they liked me, because I didn't care. Just like them, I was only in it for the sex. Sometimes they were my friends, and that was it. i was never interested in any more, and NEVER cared if one of them suddenly stopped talking to me.
Chrstne Chrstne 8 years
Oh, and I have never had casual sex. I enjoy being appreciated for my mind, sense of humor, and loved in general. I don't think it's a goal of mine to be liked mildly because I put out.
Smacks83 Smacks83 8 years
The first rule of casual sex is that you don't talk about casual sex. Or is it Fight Club? Either way if you don't watch your back things will get messy and painful real quick.
sapphireblue25 sapphireblue25 8 years
I can understand how some agree and may disagree. Some people may have an issue of trying to separate "casual sex" and pretty much that's it is nothing like a true relationship . People tend to get themselves attached and that is exactly why I steer clear from it but everyone is different, you know????
weffie weffie 8 years
it's only sex, lighten up! if a girl gets attached to a fwb, that's her own fault... everyone knows if you start caring, you stop calling! i've never cried cos one of my bootycalls got a girlfriend, sometimes it's mildly disappointing if you really liked his dick but another one always comes along... as far as "being told that you are a useless waste of their time,"... how do you figure? if you showed him a good time it wasn't a waste, it was fun... it's actually quite a useful role to play at a time when they need you, it shouldn't be an insult that they decide to settle down with someone else... that's kind of the whole point of keeping it casual--you have that option, too. it sounds like your friends are just overly sensitive and way too klingon-y to play the game properly.
SeaAre86 SeaAre86 8 years
I wouldn't ever have casual sex.. but that's just me. I've also been the observer and have quite a few people come to me upset... it's just too hard to make sure both people are truly on the same page, imo..
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
I'm not the type to have casual sex. I'm just not the type.
AmandaKrups AmandaKrups 8 years
I don't agree with friends with benefits and I would never do it myself (never mind the fact that I'm married now!), but I just wanted to say that my friend had a friend with benefits situation and they've been married now for two years!
kcmosinki kcmosinki 8 years
i agree with Chrstne, someone always (from what i've observed) ends up being hurt, even if both parties enter the "arrangement" not being romantically interested, sex inevitably changes things, people get hurt and cry and call at 4 in the morning...no thank you.
leslievanhouten leslievanhouten 8 years
I've had some casual sex experiences that were AWESOME I will say, girls fall into the FWB thing, hoping the guy will maybe hopefully over time fall in love with her...the same way guys will be "just friends" with a girl, hoping the girl will maybe hopefully over time fall in love with him. Guys use girls for sex; girls use guys for attention and emotional support. I call that the Ducky syndrome
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