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Running In Heels

Dear Sugar
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year and I have since moved to another city. We see each other every chance we get and he came to visit me last weekend. We were getting ready to go out one night and when he was in the shower, I came across something quite alarming.

I was tidying up around the house and found his Nike high top under the bed with a lady's high heel in it! I looked for the other pair thinking maybe somehow a heel got caught in there, but to my dismay, the other high top had a high heel in it too!

I have never heard of anything like that! My boyfriend is not very tall and I was thinking that maybe he is wearing the high heels to make himself look and feel taller? Do you think that he could be gay or bisexual? Is he a cross dresser? I am so confused and very worried. Horrified Hudson

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Horrified Hudson
I have never heard of a man wearing ladies shoes inside sneakers before - is that even possible? I am sure your imagination is running wild right now so you need to confront your boyfriend immediately. Could he have been playing a trick on you? Have you ever noticed anything like this before? Have you noticed any other major changes in his behavior?

If you think he could be gay, that is something that you need to get to the bottom of. You deserve to know if your boyfriend has other sexual interests than you. Try talking to him frankly about what you've found and see what he has to say. Make sure he feels safe and let him know your findings were very disconcerting and ask him if he is hiding anything from you.

Set aside your own feelings and understand what he could be going through. If he is in fact hiding his sexuality from you, try and be as patient and understanding as possible. Of course it's only natural to be surprised, but please be mindful of your words. When men wear women's clothing, it doesn't necessarily mean they are gay or bisexual, but he could be transsexual.

Are you still intimate? Have his Internet searches changed at all? Check out his movie collection, does he have any gay porn? Has his group of friends changed or does he surround himself with other gay or trans gendered people? All the emotions running through your head are what ifs until you talk to him. Hopefully this is just a misunderstanding and your relationship will be spared.

Join The Conversation
la_clique la_clique 10 years
Holy crap. I would have never assumed he was wearing them! Are they a large enough size for him? What a crafty guy if he figured out how to wear heels IN sneakers. What will he do with his loafers? How very, very odd.
lolak lolak 10 years
Thanks S_O :) I'm behind on shoe names LOL
soccer_obsessed soccer_obsessed 10 years
did you ever think of cheating? not saying he would but it may be an explanation.
soccer_obsessed soccer_obsessed 10 years
there running shoes lola :) and i agree with dear confront him that's creepy...
lolak lolak 10 years
Sorry guys but I'm confused here, what are hightops?
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
wow, never would have thought that he was wearing the shoes, definitely hiding them. i'm sure he never thought you'd look inside his hightops. i might have put them on and waited for his reaction. i'm bringing naughty back :naughty_elves:
purplesugar purplesugar 10 years
yah, did you check the shoes size? would they even fit him? I would definitely think cheating before gay/cross-dressing....
ccsugar ccsugar 10 years
I agree with tina_marie, that was my first guess, that he was hiding the other girl's shoes in his own.
LizaToad LizaToad 10 years
wow, this is scary, good luck... i think dear sugar gave the best and really the only advice in this kind of situation, you need to confront him, but in a patient and understanding manner.... good luck girl, :hug:
tina_marie tina_marie 10 years
You are more understanding that I would be. My first thought would be that he had some chic over and she forgot her shoes - not that he was cross dressing.
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