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Dear Sugar
I have been trying to grow my hair long for six years. Aside from getting regular trims, it's never gotten any real styling because I've wanted to keep the length uniform. The most drastic things I ever done were to cut off the dead ends and put a few layers around my face; none of which have ever really done anything to improve my look.

It's time for a change, but I am petrified of salons. I get nervous before haircuts and have nightmares about getting some kind of whacked-out style that's impossible to maintain.

I know I should make a consultation with a stylist at a good place and invest into a great, low maintenance cut that shows off some of my personality, but I don't know where to begin.

What goes into a great haircut and how can I communicate to the stylist what I want if I lack any real idea of how it should look other than letting them know that I want to retain the length? Lost In My Long Locks

Dear Lost In My Long Locks
Hair stylists love direction. They need it, just like any other kind of artist. Trust me, they don't want to watch you sitting in your chair crying ugly after they've just spent the past two hours trying to make you look beautiful.

It's no wonder why you've had the same haircut for the past six years. You've scared every hairdresser into trying anything new and different on you. You are right, it's time for a change.

You need to face your haircut phobia head on. Have you always had trust issues? How about severe attachment issues in other areas of your life?

Maybe these two things will help you to relax a little bit. Remember that haircuts aren't permanent, your hair will always grow back. Also, your hairdresser isn't out to get you. They are in the service industry and they just want you to be happy so that you will return.

Here's what you need to do:

  • Research and cut out pictures of girls with medium to long haircuts that you love. Bring in as many pictures as you can find from different angles. Try looking at celebrity hair galleries for ideas.
  • Notice face shapes and try to find something that you think would be flattering on you as well.
  • Be realistic when looking at models and celebs. No stylist is going to be able to live up to your expectations if you expect to be transformed in their chair into Angelina, Jessica or Beyonce.

(Think there's a hair trend going on right now?!!)
Take a deep breath and relax, let yourself get pampered! Good luck.

Join The Conversation
jennifer76 jennifer76 11 years
Good luck! I find it always helps to take pictures in.
FaeMuse FaeMuse 11 years
My hair's got about three inches to go before it reaches the small of my back, if it gives any indication. I guess the reason that I've been so reluctant to get it cut is because I like it long, but there's not been a stylist I trusted enough to actually cut it in a flattering way. I have been to expensive salons and inexpensive ones, and the higher end ones seemed rather interested in doing some fairly wild stuff (a girl wanted to put ash grey streaks and chunks for a 'rock star' look after I spent thirty minutes in a consultation explaining I was more after a natural, easy to manage style.). But thanks for the advice! I plan on going under the shears with a local stylist probably in the next week or two. :) Ainefhlaith, by the way, is Irish Gaelic.
lacoste1 lacoste1 11 years
Why don't you donate your hair to Locks of Love?
ann_fancy ann_fancy 11 years
Well Actually my hair is a little longer then denise, I think That Long HAir is okay when there is different stages in hair you know, But I also think that after 30, long hair makes you look older than you are.
ethiopian_princess ethiopian_princess 11 years
I think you need to figure out why you're holding on to your hair. Really long hair is unattractive and child like, but many women use it as a security blanket. They feel like their beauty or femininity is tied to their hair. It's the crowning glory. Unless you're growing your hair so that you can give it to locks of love, there is really no other valid reason to have freakishly long hair. Also, you can find cuts for different head shapes (oval, heart, diamond, square, etc.). When you go to a few stylist, have at least 3 options you have in mind. I find that stylists often talk people into other styles because the one they want doesn't fit, but then no one's happy. Stylists know what will look good on you if they're skilled and you two should find a style that you both LOVE because then everyone wins! There's nothing wrong with long hair, but I think after you've gone past Denise Richard's do above, you need to go to a stylist ASAP.
lacoste1 lacoste1 11 years
and what the heck is "ainefhlaith"?!?!?
lacoste1 lacoste1 11 years
Whenever I go to the salon, I always tell the person cutting it to do what they think looks best because that's their job. You can always put it in a pony tail if you don't like it, but more often than not you'll always get a great haircut! (Unless you go to Supercuts or something...or maybe somewhere in Spain, then you'll get a mullet.)
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