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Sex on the Pill

Should You Go Off the Pill to Make Sure He's the One?

There's a new study out that gets more specific on how the pill impacts who you're attracted to — and it's bad news for your sex drive. According to the study, women on the pill choose uglier men who are worse at sex but better at long-term relationships.

The birth control pill evens out hormones and causes women to choose men who are more similar to them, a safer choice, and more "father" material. But while the relationships last longer, the women involved in the study were willing to put up with worse sex. Those who aren't on the pill may choose men who are more different than them, leading to a guy who may be great in bed but not good for them in the long run.

The researchers even go as far as to recommend you switch to condoms before marrying to insure he's still "the one," once the hormones wear off. "Choosing a non-hormonal barrier method of contraception for a few months before getting married might be one way for a woman to check or reassure herself that she's still attracted to her partner," says Craig Roberts of Stirling University, Scotland.

Since we've heard a lot about how the pill affects a woman's sex drive, it seems to me that it may be more about a woman perceiving the sex as bad than the mate actually being bad at sex. But it's really interesting (and a little scary) to see how your choice of birth control could dictate your relationship choices. Would you experiment with going off the pill to test your relationship chemistry?

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Join The Conversation
danakscully64 danakscully64 5 years
I was thinking about an IUD, but I'm terrified of the insertion and heavy periods often associated with it. I'll probably wait until I have a kid to get one.
lola2013 lola2013 5 years
BC also killed my sex drive. I thought for 2 years that my bf was a great person but that was just had terrible sexual chemistry because he just hardly ever got me revved up. It was almost a dealbreaker, and I decided to go off BC and get an IUD just to make sure... this wasn't just for our relationship but also for my own sanity to make sure I wasn't plagued with little to no sex drive at all. It took a few months to get the hormones out of my system but my libido is back and our sex is better than ever. I highly recommend the Paragard IUD, even if you think BC is good enough for you. I didn't realize for years how much BC had changed me, but getting off of it gave me a noticeable amount of energy (even my friends commented) and made me realize that I had been semi-depressed for a lot of the time I was on it.
danakscully64 danakscully64 5 years
"The birth control pill evens out hormones and causes women to choose men who are more similar to them, a safer choice, and more "father" material." It's because it mimics pregnancy. The pill made me hate my bf. I was angry and not only did it kill my sex drive, it killed any intimacy desire. I don't think it's a bad idea to get off hormonal BC to make sure. Hey, better safe than sorry.
Annie-Gabillet Annie-Gabillet 5 years
I think it would apply, at least according to these researchers who say you should try non-hormonal birth control to double check. Either way, I think it's challenging to apply studies like this to the real world. There are some many factors impacting a relationship!
Miss-Kaylie Miss-Kaylie 5 years
This is interesting and scary at the same time. I'm quite curious if the story is the same for users of the Nuva Ring (because it's still hormonal birth control) or if it's just for pill users.
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