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Is Sexting a Sign of Sex Addiction?

A Sext Is Never Just a Sext

We're happy to present this post from one of our favorite sites, HowAboutWe. Lessons from a Weiner: always take a sext seriously, especially if it makes him a repeat offender.

Watching Huma Abedin flank her cyber-philandering husband during Tuesday's press conference, there was just one thing I wanted to say to the Hillary Clinton aide: "It's not going to get any better."

The most recent revelations about Carlos Danger (as her husband, the New York City mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner, likes to refer to himself and his man bits in virtual discussion) were that he had engaged in salacious conversation with women after that very activity forced him to resign from Congress in 2011.


The new sexts, first released on and printed just about everywhere in the past few days, are so explicit that it becomes necessary to take a shower and make the sign of the cross after reading them.

Huma is standing by her man. God only knows why.

The first illicit sext you find is just the tip . . . of the iceberg.

I've been there. I was once looking up directions on an ex's phone while he was driving. In the midst of determining which tunnel would ferry us off the island of Manhattan faster, a text popped up on his phone with a photo attached.
Why you should be suspicious.

"Check that for me," he said absentmindedly. I did. And I saw boobs. In the pic a topless blonde was smiling wildly into a mirror and pursing her lips into the semblance of a kissy face. Do you like this? Was written into the text.

"What the hell?" I yelled, thrusting the phone into his face. "Whose boobs are these?" To his credit he remained very calm.

"Some friend of Matt's. He has been sending me this bullsh*t all week." Matt was that friend. The one who sometimes passed out naked on his couch and was always falling in love with the stripper. The explanation made sense and I compartmentalized the incident in the back of my mind. I forgot about it until it happened again with another woman three months later and a full inspection of his phone (done under duress) revealed what can only be described as a sexting addiction which I later found out was a very real real-life sex addiction as well.

Since then, I've heard countless stories from countless women who have discovered dirty and flirty texts, chats and email. One had a boyfriend who spent every single night he wasn't with her exposing himself on Chatroulette.

The common thread here was that these men couldn't or wouldn't stop. They had an addiction to the thrill of getting caught. They loved the danger . . . the Carlos Danger.

That day in the car my boyfriend knew he could be receiving a text from one of the many women he had been communicating with. He also knew he could lie his way out of it and that was half of what was getting him off. That was the thrill. Weiner is a class thrill-seeking narcissist with an unhealthy thirst for power and control. Huma Abedin is a woman who is very obviously attracted to those in power and control.

"It took a lot of work and a whole lot of therapy to get to a place where I could forgive Anthony," she said. "I made a decision that it was worth staying in this marriage."

She may have known about the most recent allegations against her husband before we did, but she is fooling herself if she thinks that is where they ended. There isn't enough therapy for any woman if she is consistently humiliated publicly and privately.

Abedin, who turns 37 this weekend, has a 19-month old son with Weiner and a distinguished career and well-respected reputation of her own. But she is putting all of those things on line by sticking by a man who not only hurt her, but betrayed and humiliated her. Had her husband's mistakes been a one-off you could understand why a young mother would stay by his side, but now that he has proven himself a repeat offender of an activity that breeds repeat offense Abedin needs to realize that this situation is not going to get any better.

Check out more great stories from HowAboutWe:

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