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Should His Insecurity Bother Me This Much?

"Should His Insecurity Bother Me This Much?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I've started dating this guy who lacks self-confidence in a major way. We were supposed to go on a date a few months ago and he cancelled at the last minute because he was too afraid it wouldn't go well — which he just explained to me last week. He's always been teased by his friends, too, because he's never had a serious relationship and he's only shared two kisses in his life. Eventually I got to know him more and we definitely hit it off. I like him a lot, but it's getting really annoying and awkward to be around a guy who has no backbone. I tried kissing him the other night, but he freaked out and backed away because he was so nervous. I just don't want his insecurity to get in the way of our relationship. Is this too big of a problem for me to keep seeing him, or will it pass?

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Join The Conversation
healthyteenager healthyteenager 5 years
Thanks a lot!
hilberkl hilberkl 5 years
I would sit down and tell him how much you like him and he needs to get over the insecurities b/c it is ruining all his good qualities. I would really try and play up the good qualities so that he can see there is nothing wrong with him except the insecurity. If it doesn't pass soon though, I would hit the road. I couldn't handle it.
henna-red henna-red 5 years
Will you tell us what you like about him, that makes you want to take on someone who is super shy, a stoner, and has no backbone? I'm not being snarky, it's just that you've told us what you don't like, and I assume you're not looking to be his therapist. Backbones take some time to grow, some encouragement, emotional support, and a will to strengthen what is weak. This guy is a project. So.........what are you finding attractive? What qualities does he have that are appealing to you?
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