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Should I Choose my Deam Guy or my Dream University?

Dear Sugar--
I know this sounds like it's out of a movie, but it's actually the situation I'm in right now, and I'm not sure how it's going to end. I've been accepted to my dream university, going to graduate school next fall, in addition to another university that my boyfriend got into as well. We have been seeing each other for about one year and it's been amazing. When we were applying to schools, I made an informal promise to my boyfriend that I will go to the same school as him if we both got in. This promise was in part to motivate him to do better in school, as he is not the hardest worker, so when I made the promise, I did not expect him to actually get in. But alas, he did, and now I want to go back on that promise to go to my dream school.

He has been making living arrangements for us before I received my acceptance of the other university, and needless to say, was disappointed to hear the news. Now he told me it pretty much comes down to choosing my school or him, since he does not want to have a long distance relationship. I believe we could make the relationship work but he isn't willing to try. Both universities are really great schools with about the same rankings. Should I go to my dream school, or stay with my dream guy? What if I choose him and we end up breaking up, then I would be stuck at a school that was not my choice, regretting not choosing my dream school. Please help! --Torn Tatianna

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Torn Tatianna--

Congratulations on getting accepted to your dream school, what a huge accomplishment! Unfortunately, you have a tough decision to make here, and I must say, I don't envy you! You raise very valid concerns, so ultimately you're going to have to choose between your relationship or following your educational dream.

While I understand that your boyfriend wants you to be with him next year at school, he should be supporting your life decisions and your dreams. Is he adamant about not giving a long distance relationship a try or do you think he is just talking a big game in hopes you will choose his school over yours? If you are already weighing the possibility of breaking up with your boyfriend, something tells me there are other factors you are weighing.

Although you made a promise to your boyfriend, you have to do what is best for you. This is your life and you need to live it how you feel fit. Regardless of your decision, you have to stand by the choice you make. If you choose to be with your boyfriend and you feel you could be harboring feelings of resentment because you felt pressure to choose, your relationship is bound to suffer. Try writing out a pro and con list, take a few days to mull it over, and eventually, trust your instincts. I wish you the best of luck!


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