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Should I Contact Him

"He Let Me Down — Should I Still Contact Him?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I met this guy about a month ago. We became close and when he'd see me, he'd take my bags, pick me up, and hug me in front of all our friends. He'd always give me good advice and he's everything I wanted in a guy. He's smart, humble, outgoing, mature, and funny. We would talk all day and all night and he would always check up on me to see if I was having a nice day. He offered to buy me dinner and I turned him down numerous times, but I finally gave in and said I'd go on a proper date with him — it would have been tomorrow.

A few days ago, we spoke on the phone all night and he told me he was going to shower. He then proceeded to talk to me through texting. The conversation started to run dry and he started to ignore me. Usually at night he'd call me, then I saw him update his status at midnight about playing cards with what looked like a girl's name. I didn't think anything of it, then I got a message from him at two in the morning saying that he fell asleep.


I was upset. I ignored him for the whole next day, thinking maybe he just wanted his space. At the end of that day, I finally picked up his call and he started having a go at me. I was kind of confused. He ignored me yesterday and now he's getting upset because I told him I was busy. Long story short, I broke down and said that he'd been ignoring me. He lied to me at first and said he was sleeping, but I saw the updates. After I told him that I felt like my intelligence was being insulted, he confessed. Needless to say, he apologized and apologized, but I ended up deleting his number from my phone. I've been through so much and he just let me down. It's not what he did — he was out playing cards with girls and his friend — it was the lie. I'm not his girlfriend, but we got so close and I don't know whether I'd be able to trust him if things were to get serious. Now I honestly miss him, but since I deleted his number, he hasn't contacted me. Should I even bother?

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modafiniljunkie modafiniljunkie 5 years
You guys aren't dating and he's already lying to cover his tracks?  That's a red flag in my book.  Sometimes guys act weird and it doesn't mean anything, but that' doesn't include lying.  I think if you pursued a relationship with this guy there would eventually be a lot of drama and heartache.  If that's something you're not interested in, thank your lucky stars you got out before you got really invested and wound up with a broken heart.
circle0105 circle0105 5 years
If he is interested and feels like you're worth his time he will contact you. To be fair, you two are not dating, and therefore you are both open to talk to other people. Of course he was not going to tell you that he was with another women playing poker at the wee hours of the morning (strip poker maybe?). But yes, he did lead you on, and therefore it is your right to not get involved in messy games. Also, if you let this slide, you may enable him to think it's okay to do it in the future. I'd advise you to not contact him. If he wants to contact you he knows how to reach, and if you are on his mind, and he WANTS to contact you, he will. If he doesn't, then it means you are not on his mind, and he decided to move on. If he does contact you and you decide to answer, you need to set straight your standards.
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