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Should I Go to College With My Boyfriend?

"Should I Go to School With Him?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I am a senior in high school and I'm currently facing a decision I never thought I'd have to make. My boyfriend of about eight months is going to school three hours away and we're able to see each other on weekends and some holidays. We have been close and I've lost him once before and couldn't get over it, but I was younger then and feel as if things would be different if that happened now.

He wants me to go to school with him, and to be honest, I would have never considered that school if he wasn't there. After looking at it, the school seems to be similar to my other choices and I would love to be with him. The problem I continuously run into is this: do I want to be in a relationship during my college years? Or do I want to start over and discover who I am outside of the relationship? He says that he's willing to follow me wherever I go, but I just don't want that type of responsibility if the relationship were to end. Is a break up worth it? Is love something I should throw away?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously in Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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steph1234 steph1234 5 years
This guy is not the only guy out there..You are so very young.Please, please, please do not change your life or your plans and follow some guy around like a sick puppy.....Because at that have lost yourself, you have lost your independence. Go your own the other said, if you're meant to be, you'll make it...if not you'll find someone else....Plus college is only 4's not a permanent thing. Think of it this way...what happens if you move with him and you break up? Then what? Good luck with this it is a big one...and will most likely impact your life forever one way or the other....
Bruce3261959 Bruce3261959 5 years
I have four daughters who are either in college or graduated and one such case my oldest followed a guy to a school and left a wonderful school who recruited her. Needless to say she broke up eventually and he stalked her. As I tell all my kids, go about life according to your design and if boys are meant to be it'll happen and be in the best. If it doesnt work, then your only loss is your time.
circle0105 circle0105 5 years
I believe you have answered your own question when you said you didn't want to have that responsibility. College is going to be a whole new world and it seems like you are ready to take that in... alone. You know what you need to do. . .
Bubbles12 Bubbles12 5 years
P.S. If it is love it's not worth throwing away just to see what else may come your way. If you have love, respect and stability, you're one of the very lucky ones. At any age. If it's not long-term goodness (or you're not ripe for it) then you are hoping for someone different to come your way.
Bubbles12 Bubbles12 5 years
Sometimes young relationships do work out long term. And if all college choices are similar, why not have both your cake and eat it too? Here's the acid test: If you were to go to college with him and break up, would you still be happy about where you are -- both the city and the academics? Or would you be feeling stuck and mad at yourself? I think that's really your answer. You don't have to break up when you go to college if you're three hours away. No one can tell you what will happen and yes at your age all romance can be volatile, but in the meantime just let yourself both be in love and go to the place you think you really want to be. Whatever happens, best to you!
Holiday-Gems-on-Etsy Holiday-Gems-on-Etsy 5 years
the answer is a big no. become an independent, educated woman...then you'll have a harem of men chasing after you--and you can reject them all or pick one or three.
poindexterregan poindexterregan 5 years
You're young, you've got your whole life ahead of you. You've been dating this guy for eight months. Three hours is not that far away. You sound very wise to question whether you should be making such a major commitment at this early stage in your life. Do what you know in your heart is best for YOU as an individual. If this relationship is meant to be, it will live and grow stronger as you become stronger as an individual.
melissajayne melissajayne 5 years
I think if your asking yourself that question then the relationship is over. If you truly loved him then the thought of breaking up with him would hurt a lot. It's completely understandable that you want some freedom to explore things that until now weren't a part of your life and you have every right to find out what is best for you. I had a friend who dated this guy for over a year and they planned their university together and a week before they were supposed to leave he broke up with her so he could have the 'college experience'. This broke her heart and blindsided her because of all the preparation they did to go to the same school. Don't string him along and make him think that this is the case, it's easier to be upfront and honest right away and tell him that your unsure about what you want next year. If he's a good guy he will talk it through with you and understand. I hope everything works out!
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