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Should I Move For a Job or Stay For Love?

"Should I Move For a Job or Stay For Love?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I officially moved in with my boyfriend at the beginning of the year. I have been unemployed since last July and have very little savings. I actually spent most of what I have traveling to be with him and living with him. I looked for jobs and had some false leads. It's been frustrating to say the least. At the end of last month, a family member passed away and I flew back home (to another country) to be there for the funeral. On a whim, my friend suggested I interview at his company. It's a prestigious firm, but with a rather limited salary. The job would certainly look good on a resume though. I got an offer tonight.

I'm torn about about to do. I want to be with my boyfriend, but the only thing I have in the city is him, and I literally can't afford to stay another month with no job prospects, never mind considering how dependent I would be on him. If I take this job, I will have enough to fly out for a week or two, and again in about 3 months. I think I should take the job, but I'm afraid I will lose my relationship. What should I do?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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Join The Conversation
missbowie missbowie 5 years
Take the job, you've found a great job in a bad economy and you can't rely on your partner. You have to be realistic, you and your partner aren't married so if you two broke up or something happened to him you'd be left destitute. If your relationship is solid this won't be the end, it'll just be the time you two had a long term relationship.
testadura67 testadura67 5 years
You said yourself you think you should take the job, so take it. If your relationship is solid, trust that it can withstand the challenge. Maybe put a deadline on it too. Say, we reevaluate in 6 months, one year, whatever. Decide if maybe he's willing to move to be closer to you, if he would have opportunities there. There are hundreds of options, it just depends on how hard the two of you are willing to make it work. But I agree, take the job.
steph1234 steph1234 5 years
It's really rather simple - it is very difficult to find a job in this economy, so you found one, Take it! What would you do, say for instance, if you guys broke up and he kicked you out? You would have nothing and you would be poor and homeless. Be smart, Take the job! Not all long distance relationships end. If you guys are serious about each other and loyal to each other then it's possible it can work out.....Take the job!
henna-red henna-red 5 years
I have to say I agree with the folks above. You have to work, you have to do for you, yourself, as a balanced, responsible person before you can be a balanced, responsible partner. Go for the job, a good boyfriend will understand the situation, and if yours doesn't, then you're in the wrong place. Good luck!
BiWife BiWife 5 years
ok, so it sounds like this job is in a different country than your bf. am I reading that right? Or is your friend that suggested you interview at his company in the same country as your boyfriend? Provided my initial thought is correct, it would be quite the long-distance relationship. Does your bf want to (and have the means to) support you if you stay with him and remain unemployed? If not, then do yourself a favor and take the job, don't remain chronically unemployed (employers really don't like that). If the salary will allow you to fly to another country every few months, I'd say that's a d@mn good salary and nothing to sneeze at. While you're working in the other country from your bf, keep looking for something closer to him and then you can potentially just change jobs in the near future and only have to be away from him for a short period of time. If not, then maybe it was never meant to be in the first place.
chibros chibros 5 years
Do you want to lose your "relationship" or your "future, value as a woman"? Leave your job offer, go and stay with him doing nothing and you think your relationship will last or be healthy? It might be fun at the beginning but not later on. I don't see how it will jeopardize your relationship if your bf is an understanding type (instead of selfish) that its for your own good. Since your bf is all you have in the city and no job offer, I rather suggest taking the job offer you got, you will still have money to always go and visit him. It is not wise to remain jobless and dependent on your bf, stay at home doing nothing just because of your RELATIONSHIP. Definitely your value as a woman will be depreciate one day and things might go wrong. Dependent on him alone will not give you any future as time goes by. Build your future, value and other good things shall be added unto it
lcrox07 lcrox07 5 years
I don't see how this can jeapordize your relationship. Is this job location really far from where you live? If your boyfriend is in the city aren't there more job opportunities in the city? I wouldn't do that to your boyfriend. You can't just move in then move out and leave him to find out what he's going to do with the place.
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