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Should I Uninvite My Boyfriend?

"Should I Uninvite My Boyfriend Now That We're on a Break?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

Some old friends from high school and I have been planning a camping trip since the Winter. My high school friends go annually, but this is my first time. I'm really excited to rekindle the friendships, seeing how many of us had lost contact when we went to college. When we were first planning the trip, I invited my boyfriend to come along, thinking it would be fun for him to meet some old friends. The problem is that we took a break a month ago and are now trying to patch things up. The camping trip is in less than a month, and my feelings about him coming along have changed. I would rather go alone and focus on my old friendships, but since things have been better between us he still wants to go.

I really don't know how to approach the situation. It seems unfair to uninvite him, and if we weren't on a break, I would want him there, but he is going on a trip to California without me. I'm not sure what to do. Does anyone have any advice for me?

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caralyn caralyn 4 years
uninvite him unless the break is officially over! did he want to take the break or did you? even if you are back together its very healthy to go away for a weekend without your boyfriend. distance makes the heart grow fonder!
henna-red henna-red 4 years
To get what you want, you're going to have to go to that uncomfortable place and ask him drop out of the trip. Let him know that with the two of you on a break and moving ahead slowly, you'd feel more comfortable spending this time with your friends and thinking about what's happening in your relationship. Let him know that you'd feel tense and pressured if he were along, ask him to understand, wish him a great trip to California, and make a tentative date to meet with after the trip, to continue with whatever progress and process the two of you are working on. The only way to get what you want is to ask for it.. You don't have to be abrupt, but you do need to be clear and kind. If he doesn't respond to that, then you have a good indication of which direction your relationship is headed. good luck
Melficent Melficent 4 years
Be open and honest just telll him how you feel. Im sure he will understand if you just tell him straight. For goodness sakes don't try and lie to him about it,as it will only make things worse. I think going on this trip by yourself will help alot. I agree with: "Maybe suggest a trip that you guys go to later, making specific plans for him to holiday with you will sound more convincing that it's about trying to give yourselves adequate time to rebuild as well as wanting a chance to focus on your individual friendships on the holidays you take without each other"
BiWife BiWife 4 years
Ditto. Be honest and forthright, being in uncomfortable circumstances isn't really constructive towards rebuilding a relationship. putting yourself in too close of quarters when you're still patching things up could lead to major drama. Maybe suggest a trip that you guys go to later, making specific plans for him to holiday with you will sound more convincing that it's about trying to give yourselves adequate time to rebuild as well as wanting a chance to focus on your individual friendships on the holidays you take without each other.
dragonfireheart dragonfireheart 4 years
The best thing I can recommend is to calmly state you are uncomfortable with him attending your camping trip with your high school friends since you both are recovering from a break. Just say that you both are still working things out and you two should take it slowly and there is always next time. To be honest if I were your boyfriend and we were on a break I would feel a little awkward about camping with all your friends and not have anyone I know personally there... well other than you. Best thing is to just talk with him and put some feelers on him and see what happens from there. I wish you luck on your situation.
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