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Should Parents Butt In To Their Children's Love Lives?

Should Parents Butt In To Their Children's Love Lives?

Of course our parent's opinions mean the world to us, but love can be blind. When they disapprove of who we've chosen it can really complicate matters of the heart for us.

Poor Kate Hudson. It looks as though her mom Goldie Hawn doesn't approve of her seeing playboy Owen Wilson. The same goes for Katie Holmes's father. Apparently Mr. Holmes is very disappointed in his little girl who became impregnated before getting married to Tom Cruise.

Now it's true that our parents raised us and we certainly don't want to let them down, but do you think that parents should voice their opinions about their kids' private love lives?

ChiTownEm ChiTownEm 10 years
Val: That is awful that your parents (or mom specifically) treat(s) your husband that way. Especially following what must have already been a very heartwrenching time. Barring physical/emotional abuse, I think parents need to support their adult children's choices, even if they don't personally agree with them. If everyone only married/dated the people their parents approved of, no one would get married!! Parents will always find flawds in their children's partners, they just have to trust that they raised a child who will in turn make good adult choices.
flutterpie flutterpie 10 years
i come a very large and very intertwined family, and they are from the south, so gossip is a family tradition. my family knows everything about everyone and they always have an opinion. the funny thing is that i was completely immersed in it and didnt see the big picture until i stopped talking to my dad for awhile and kind of saw them for what they were. now that i have a boyfriend that i am truly serious about, everyone has an opinion. tonight i found out my cousin suggested that he was not that good looking since no one has met him or seen him. i have learned that every parent thinks its there god given right to butt in, but its ultimately up to us to take listen to advice and eventually go with our heart.
SWEET-C9363 SWEET-C9363 10 years
damn sorry to hear that val, like u dont have enuf on your plate to have to deal with that shit.. yes i def dont think u would be one to sit around in an abusive household if anything id think ud be doin the beatins lol
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
many possible reasons. i think she blames his gene pool (beyond absurd i know). she doesn't like the way we divide the responsibilities of having a family (my choice but it wouldn't be hers). it's very, very difficult for her to even say "autism", so frankly it might just be easier for her to pick a fight and not be around. 2 years ago she told me she wanted to have a "talk" with me and then said that she "knew" he was beating me. wtf? she loves drama. anyway, i said "i don't know where that is coming from. it isn't true." very dead pan. her response "i think you're embarrassed to tell me". uh huh. can't you tell from reading my posts here that 1) i would not be hit more than once by someone, and 2) that pretty much nothing is beyond me talking about it?
SWEET-C9363 SWEET-C9363 10 years
that sucks val.. why do u think she blames or resents your hubbie bc of jenna's autism
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
no one is commenting on this one?! well i'll start then. my parents spent the first couple of years of my marriage thinking my hubby was fantastic. then they suddenly hated him. there was nothing i could point to as a reason, but it coincides with my oldest daughter's diagnosis of autism almost exactly so make your own conclusion. we didn't speak for a few months including the time before my 3rd daughter was born. i was very resentful of them bad mouthing my husband to me and in front of my kids. slowly we got our relationship back on track and my dad is fine to my husband (i actually think he likes him) but my mom just barely tolerates him. the result is that we don't see them very much, maybe 4 times a year, sometimes twice a year. i'm an only child so these are their only grand kids. what is my mom accomplishing with her comments and actions? i refuse to spend christmas with my parents now because my mother is just a bitch to my husband and it's too stressful for me. she knows this but for some reason she feels it's her "right" to express her opinion. in the absence of physical abuse, or danger to the adult child or the grand kids i think the parents should support what ever choice the adult child makes. it doesn't matter if it's in regards to religion, choice of spouse, career, WHATEVER. to keep trying to control an adult child is disrespectful and demeaning to that person.
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