We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, YourTango. Is faking an orgasm a good idea? Read on to find out!
It has long been one of those discussions that comes up both in and out of the bedroom: are you faking it or not? Faking an orgasm, that is. Sadly there are actually those out there who end up faking it quite a bit. Whether it's to please their partner, convince themselves they're enjoying it, or they want to speed up the whole process, because sometimes you just don't have the time, faking it happens pretty often. You may think that your fake orgasms are so great that they're worthy of an Academy Award but, and I'm sorry to tell you, you're really not as good at it as you may think you are. But then again not everyone can pull off the Katz's Deli scene with Meg Ryan's famous faux orgasm in When Harry Met Sally.
According to research by Erin Fallis, a Ph.D. student at the University of Waterloo in Canada, your partner is far more "in the know" than you realize when it comes to your sexual satisfaction. As Fallis explains, "We found that, on average, both men and women have fairly accurate and unbiased perceptions of their partners' sexual satisfaction." So there. It doesn't matter what you might be trying to convey with your moans or even your words, if your partner knows you well enough and can read your emotions, then your secret is out.
We asked both men and women what lessons, if any, they had learned from faking it.
Lesson 1: When You're Caught Lying, It's Awkward.
"It was a casual thing I had going on with a guy that I never orgasmed with," says Edie, who claims she usually doesn't fake it. "But then one night I felt really bad for him and proceeded to moan as if I was having the greatest orgasm of my life. Afterward he asked me if I had come, and I said yes. He rolled over, looked at me and said, 'You're such a liar. Do you really think I could fall for that charade?' I only saw him once more after that … where I didn't orgasm and I didn't fake it."
Lesson 2: When You're The One Being Lied To, It's Even More Awkward.
As Aaron realized, it's pretty "lame," to use his word, to be on the other side of that lie. "Sorry, but I just don't like lying, especially when I can tell. I called out one girl on her lie, but she just kept denying it over and over until we got into a huge argument about it. It was really pathetic. I know how the female vagina works! Being honest is far sexier."
For three more lessons, head over to YourTango: The Faux 'O': 5 Valuable Lessons From Faking It
Check out more great stories from YourTango:
- Sex Stories #120: "The Night We Got Busy in a 50-Gallon Soup Pot"
- Sex Stories #121: The Booty Call That Almost Scarred Me For Life
- 7 Sex Positions Men Love