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Should You Live Alone Before Getting Married?

After college, I was lucky enough to find a reasonable 1-bedroom apartment that I could rent on my own. It was so great to come home and not have to deal with anyone nagging me about my dirty dishes or my wet towel on the carpet. I could take a shower when I wanted to, play music as loud as I pleased, and go to bed when I felt like it.


If you can afford your own place, I think it's so important to live alone before you get married because once you get married, that's it. You'll never be able to have your own place again. The whole experience has taught me a lot about myself, and eventually when I do get married, I won't regret not living alone.

So tell me, do you think it's important to live alone before you wed?

Join The Conversation
tiffanyfuchsia tiffanyfuchsia 8 years
For me, I think it was an absolute must! Living alone was a great experience. Occasionally it was a little lonely, but most of the time it was awesome! However, I don't know if I could live *entirely* alone, meaning without my kitties :)
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 9 years
I think its a must. you learn so much by living alone, emotionally physically financially socially. I did have roomates four two years and hated it.
Le-Luxe Le-Luxe 9 years
I think it is a MUST- and it was my goal for the longest time. Now that I have my own place, I love it!
allien86 allien86 9 years
I agree with Princess-eab. I've never lived alone alone, however I have shared with only 1 flatmate for 2 years (she isnt here much and goes away for the summer) I find it lonely and not at all a 'learning' process. Now my bf lives with me and i feel much happier, secure and feel I am learning who I am more through having him do something that annoys/excites me etc and trying to mesh our lives together.
princess_eab princess_eab 9 years
I've lived alone for a year, but it was only because I wasn't able to find a roommate at the time. The idea of it is nice, but the reality for me is less than ideal-- I'm really at my best with other people around. The main benefit to yourself from living alone would be being solely financially responsible for everything, and learning to deal with things on your own. But to me that's kind of minor, since you have to do most of that anyway with roommates. I was horribly lonely being single and living alone (even with a pet) so I'd say don't do it if you don't have to. IMO the benefits of learning to live with and negotiate finances with all different types of people far outweigh the experience of living alone. I will say that living alone is a lot easier, but it made me lazy and lonely.
gossipqueen gossipqueen 9 years
I lived alone problem...but I don't think that it is a must...some people know who they are no matter if they live alone or not...and I totally disagree with this statement: "I think it's so important to live alone before you get married because once you get married, that's it. You'll never be able to have your own place again." 100% disagree...marriage is not a death sentence and the whole point is that you can be YOURSELF with your partner....not somebody else cause now "you're married". Also, the home is yours and you can create your own ME not that hard!
Aminah-Akalea Aminah-Akalea 9 years
Nothing wrong with living alone at all, it's great! but i think if you are in a very serious relationship to the point marriage may come in, i say live with that person, atleast when you get married if you still decide too continue the relationship that you know what you are getting yourself into and won't be one of those people on Dr.Phil or some other talk show complaining about eachother and dealing with eachother's messes and not knowing that's how the person lived and if only you knew........ all of that :D
KC_27 KC_27 9 years
juliemyjewel juliemyjewel 9 years
I lived by myself for a while and really loved it. Sometimes I wish I still lived alone instead of with my boyfriend, mostly when he snores... Some people need people around more often than others though, so I don't think it is essential to live alone.
JessNess JessNess 9 years
Im 20 and live by myself. I love it! I think its a must
plasticapple plasticapple 9 years
I don't think you need to live alone necessarily, but I do think you should live on your own (pay your own bills, clean up for yourself, cook for yourself, etc.) You can't really expect to have a successful marriage if you can't take care of yourself.
jadorechaussures jadorechaussures 9 years
I love living alone. I can run around in my undies and eat in bed. I think it's a great way to gain independence and self reliance. Not necessary. The one thing you should have before marriage is that you have really "come into your own" and living by yourself is one of the many ways to do that.
PJ-PJ-PJ PJ-PJ-PJ 9 years
I lived alone after college & before marriage. It was great. I wanted to make sure that I could take care of myself before I got married. I also wanted to experience living alone. I will never regret doing it.
kristine13 kristine13 9 years
I lived alone for one year, and while I did enjoy being able to do things my way, I also got pretty lonely at times. I think it was a good experience overall, but I'm glad it was only for one year. Now, my boyfriend and I live together (NYC is too expensive not to), and it's nice to have someone to come home to at night.
Marci Marci 9 years
It's not a bad idea, for all the reasons you stated, Dear. I lived alone and am so happy I did. I really learned how to rely on myself for a lot of things that I now ask my fiance to do. ;) At least I know that I CAN do them again should I ever choose to, or have to.
Greggie Greggie 9 years
And you know, except for the music thing, I can do everything listed in the original post even with a husband and 2 1/2 kids. And even the music thing I can do pretty regularly.
Dannie037 Dannie037 9 years
i live alone now and for the most part i love it. there are some times though when it does get pretty lonely. luckily, i got a puppy and shes great company!
fashionhore fashionhore 9 years
I have never lived alone. I don't think I could really. I like the company roommates keep--and it doesn't have to be my boyfriend. I would like to try to live alone some day before I get married, but I have learned a lot about myself just living outside of my parent's home.
lintacious lintacious 9 years
i don't get this. i mean i've lived "on my own" since i was 17. i.e. not with my parents. but i always had roomates because, well, how can you afford to rent a one bedroom apartment without roomates?!!
PattyLauren PattyLauren 9 years
Right now, I'm still living at home and in school. But, at some point between being in school or not being in school and getting married I will alone. I'm a very independent person and I have lots of things I want to do and I think if I went straight from living at home or with other people to living with a husband, I would not only deeply regret it, I would fear resenting the marriage to some extent.
estoiles estoiles 9 years
i lived alone for a year right after highschool, then i moved back home, met my bf/fiancé and we both needed to move out but couldn't really afford it on our own so we moved in together. that was a year ago and there are DEFINITELY times i wish that i had my own apartment, but i cannot sleep without him in our bedroom. it just feels lonely and cold (consequently, it's INCREDIBLY HOT when he's in the bed - and i don't mean sexually - the boy is a space heater). but i really do appreciate him and myself more when he's out of town. so i guess i like it both ways. i hope to one day when we have a house that there will be a guest bed room that is "my room" to spend me time in.
ayanaphil ayanaphil 9 years
I live with roommates right now, but I am sooooooo looking forward to getting my own place. I have my own way of doing things that sometimes conflicts with other people, so it's best that I live alone.
elizabethsosewn elizabethsosewn 9 years
worst idea ever? sharing an apartment with a sister. omg. so lame. I'd love to move in with my boyfriend before I marry him, but living on my own before that would be good.
brown_eyed_grrl brown_eyed_grrl 9 years
Loved living alone, always knew I had to do it before I got married. It's interesting to see who you really are when at the end of the day you come home to yourself. I'd had roommates, I already knew about compromise and such, but living alone for me was almost a spiritual thing.
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