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Shyness May Cause Marriage Problems

Quiet Riot: Shyness May Lead to Marriage Strife

Whether you think shyness is learned or innate, it can make finding a relationship hard enough. Now two new studies show struggles for shy people don't end after they've crossed the wedding altar.


Researchers found shyness leads to more severe problems for newlyweds and lower marital satisfaction overall. From trust issues and jealousy to money problems and household management, shy people report more problems than their outgoing counterparts.

What's more troubling is that because shyness and low self-confidence often go together, shy people are less equipped to deal with marital problems. While there are ways to challenge shyness, changing a personality is hard and an introvert will probably never become an all-out extrovert. But there is hope.

One researcher says the answer is not to change shy people, but to change how both partners resolve conflict. Education and counseling on specific problems is the answer to marital strife — no matter how reserved one or both partners are.

Image Source: Thinkstock
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Chrstne Chrstne 6 years
Though I'm not married, I'm as close as you can be to marriage without putting your signature on a piece of paper. My SO is shy around most people, but not shy around me, family, or close friends. He has absolutely no problems handling conflict or anything like that. We are very happy with our relationship, and have a very easy time communicating. I would think that many shy people are the same as my SO - shy around people they do not know well, but they open up whenever they are around people who they know well. I don't really think shy people are as doomed as "studies" make them out to be. You can be shy and still have a happy, successful life.
MissSushi MissSushi 6 years
sorry, i think this is complete bs. Most shy people are just shy around strangers and people they don't know very well. While it may take a long while to get close to somebody, the majority of shy people without severe problems open up to those they trust.
chequettex chequettex 6 years
I'm not particularly shy, but I am not good at verbal communication, and that definitely contributes to stress in my marriage. But my husband is understanding and we try to work things out together. If I was really introverted and had low self-confidence, I probably would have never even dated him - he's a little shy to begin with and neither of us would have ever had the courage to ask the other out!
Pistil Pistil 6 years
Well thank you, Tres. I'm so glad to know there is hope for me, that I'm not doomed to be miserable like every other study and statistic tells me.
skigurl skigurl 6 years
this bodes well for me, as I am the opposite of shy
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