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Signs It's Not a Date

5 Signs It's Not a Date

Last week my friend went out with a guy she met last month through friends. He tracked down her blog, emailed her, and asked her out for drinks. Yet he referenced his long-distance girlfriend halfway through the night. Sounds shady to me — like maybe he was testing the philandering waters — but he made no moves during their three hours together.

Whether a guy is hiding his girlfriend on purpose, not being upfront, or you just have your signals crossed, here are five things to look for if you doubt his single status.

  1. Trust your Internet research: My friend's "date" had a picture of him with a girl on his Facebook profile. They didn't look like a couple nor did it say he was in a relationship, but most single guys, who are actively dating, wouldn't do that. And if he doesn't accept your friend request? Run. Yes, he could just have not looked, but confront him or cut your losses if there are other doubts.
  2. Does he pay? Paying doesn't make it a date, but not paying really doesn't.
  3. Talks about nameless "friends": Even if he's not trying to conceal his girlfriend from you, he will probably be somewhat uncomfortable mentioning her. Listen for nameless, genderless, and storyless "friends" littered throughout your conversation.
  4. He brings a friend: Really, nobody does this on a date unless it's culturally mandated or they don't want to be there.
  5. He takes you somewhere he's never been: It's either because he doesn't want to be seen, or he never goes out. Consider which is worse!

Have any to add?

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inlove23 inlove23 7 years
Haha!! Love it spacekatgal!
Girl-Jen Girl-Jen 7 years
So...what if I ask, he suggests a place he's been, we split the bill, he refers to female friends by name, and it's just the two of us? I'll be going on another one of those (there have been three so far) and am still not sure whether he thinks of these as dates or not. Oh, screw it, I'll just plant one on him and see what happens. ;)
nancita nancita 7 years
The nameless "friend" stories! I have never really thought about that before but that's definitely a sign.
skigurl skigurl 7 years
this was fun to read. I've had a married (wedding ring and all) work "friend" take me to lunch and I'm pretty sure he was testing the waters to philander (if not with me, I know he does it with others), but it was clear I wasn't going to do that, so now we're still friends but he always pays and rarely mentions his wife - though he does mention her and his kids enough that I know he's not still trying to be weird about it.
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