I went out to dinner with two close friends over the weekend. When each one went to the bathroom, they talked about the other. Immediately! I decided my own trip to the bathroom could be postponed until I was home and got to thinking about gossip.
In middle school I thought girls were talking about me, and my dad said, "Do you think people have nothing better to talk about than you?" At first I was offended, then momentarily liberated, and finally sad again when I realized the perpetual gossipers probably, in fact, had nothing better to talk about. But now I see where he was going: people are more consumed by themselves than others.
It's a good thing to keep in mind, but not always the case. Get three signs you may be a topic of conversation below.
- Talks about other friends: "Those who gossip with you, gossip about you" goes the saying, and it's true today. It's the easiest way to know preemptively and avoid getting hurt.
- Stops talking or abruptly changes the subject when you approach: Of course, she could be talking about something private, something she wants nobody but that person to hear, but it's not a good sign either way.
- Another friend knows things you didn't tell her: If there's familiarity where there shouldn't be, think of who you've already told.
Of course, everyone talks about friends to some degree. It's a way of processing. Sometimes it's best not to know; but other times, especially if it feels like a toxic friendship, it is.