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Signs a Man Slept With Another Woman

"Can I Tell If He's Sleeping With Someone Else?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our community. Add your advice in the comments!

My ex and I broke up about a month and a half ago on good terms. Our relationship was falling apart, and we decided to go separate ways. Well recently we have been talking to one another again, we've been seeking each other out, and to me it really just seems like we needed a break from one another. I admit that I do still love him but I'm not going psycho trying to get him back. If it happens, it happens.

My question is if there is a way to physically tell if he's been having sex with someone else? It doesn't really bother me, but I am curious to know. And as my own personal quirk, I have always felt that if I am getting intimate with someone, I do deserve to know if they're sleeping with a bunch of people because it does put my own health in jeopardy. I always like to know what I'm going up against. But this is all beside the point.

We have had sex twice since our breakup. I noticed during the first time, he really wasn't able to maintain a full hard on. It felt a little weak and almost as if he was trying to force it to stay up. I honestly took it as if he was just nervous because there was still a lot of tension between us. The second time we had sex, he was able to maintain a very good hard on and he was able to last for a long time. I know his body, I was with him for two years. And I know that if he hasn't had sex in awhile, he cums in about five minutes.

Are these physical signs that he is having sex with other people?

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Join The Conversation
dikke-kus dikke-kus 6 years
The question is pointless just like the relationship. Sleeping with an ex without truely wanting a relationship again or heartfelt emotions sounds about as exiting as a bowl of raisin bran. Maybe thats why he can't get it up. If you're so concerned about your safety then don't sleep with him or anyone else without a commited loving relationship.
pax4pax pax4pax 6 years
If you don't feel like you can't trust him, then you should find someone whom you can trust. Building trust is a good foundation for a long term relationship. You haven't done either so you get reap what you've sown. You're having sex without commitment, so, can you really complain if he does the same thing, just with a different person?
kurniakasih kurniakasih 6 years
Sorry, sweetie, you can't see it physically if he's slept with other people. I understand the 'sex' talk ain't too pleasant and can be a mood killer, but you do need to know if he's not sexually monogamous or what, and don't just take his word that he's 100% safe. Unfortunately, even though you ask, he can always lie or say whatever because he wants to spare your feeling or not get in trouble with you. Just use protection if you continue having sex with him.
mnp mnp 6 years
You should just outright ask if he is sleeping with someone. Right now, it's understood that he is doing so because you were broken up. There aren't any real physical signs to figure out something like this. Until you get your answer, I'd make sure to always use protection.
soozerella soozerella 6 years
if you can't talk about sex with your partner, you shouldn't be having it.
missnacho missnacho 6 years
@DazzleDe That isn't exactly the easiest question to ask, so you really shouldn't jump down someone's throat. And she came here for advice. You should stop your snappy remarks.
missnacho missnacho 6 years
Well you've been with him for two years and you do know his body. If your gut tells you he's sleeping with someone else than he probably is. I suggest that you take the proper precautions (condoms) in order to protect yourself. Or just tell him that you don't want to have sex with him anymore until you two have figured out what you're going to do about your relationship status. I feel that you also deserve to know how many people he is currently sleeping with, it's for your health. Go ahead and ask.
DazzleDe DazzleDe 6 years
Instead of posting this on an internet board, why don't you ask you ex if he's has had other relationships while the two of you were on a break? Relationships don't last unless there is open communication. And unless he has a herpes, you can't "physically" tell if he's having sex with someone else.
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