Can we just face the Billboard Top 40 music? The basic b*tch [1] dialogue is here, and it's here to stay (at least for a while). And try as you might, there's just something about the moment that he #putsaringonit [2] that pretty much turns us all "basic." We can't help it. But what are the tendencies of a basic bride? If you've ever wondered how much more "on fleek" [3] your eyebrows need to be on the big day or if Mean Girls [4] quotes are acceptable to incorporate into your vows, you might be a basic bride. Here are 38 more indicators.
Front Page Image Source: Getty / Gregg DeGuire [5]
- After he proposed, you suddenly felt like Lauren Conrad [6].
- You want customized velour tracksuits for yourself and your bridal party.
- You're of the belief that hanky-panky lingerie is just as important as the dress itself.
- You want your bridesmaids in totes adorbs sweetheart-cut dresses.
- You can't think of any place you'd rather be for your bachelorette party than Las Vegas with your best girlfriends.
- Coordinated outfits are also a must for your bachelorette party weekend.
- All of your wedding theme inspiration comes directly from Pinterest.
- You can't fathom walking down the aisle without a choreographed dance routine.
- You're as obsessed with the idea of a Fall wedding as you are with Starbucks pumpkin spice lattes.
- EVERY wedding planning outing must be accompanied by brunch. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.
- You're really tempted to choose bridesmaids purely based on how fun they would be.
- Your wedding cake HAS to be ombré.
- The most important detail of your wedding day will undoubtedly be the photo booth.
- You have no shame in admitting that you loved the details of Kim Kardashian [7] and Kanye West [8]'s nuptials.
- You refuse to have anything besides Vera Wang on your body.
- Your bouquet will consist exclusively of peonies à la Blair Waldorf.
- "Rustic" is your favorite adjective.
- You've never been in a barn in your life . . . But your wedding is def going to be held in a barn.
- Any time you go out to pick details for your wedding, you channel Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's.
- "He put a ring on it" is your new favorite saying.
- You've never used hashtags more obsessively than that first time you posted a photo of your engagement ring. #HeAsked #ISaidYes #Feyoncé #Engaged #Finally #LoveHim #AboutTime #IAmEngaged
- You're already practicing your poses for the wedding photography.
- Upcycled, repurposed, thrifted, painted mason jars as far as the eye can see.
- It doesn't matter the season, theme, or setting of your wedding . . . You HAVE to include decorative barrels into the mix.
- Catered Starbucks is going to be part of your wedding morning prep.
- There NEEDS to be a cupcake tower somewhere — anywhere — at your wedding.
- A color-coordinated candy bar will be a main focal point of your big day.
- People will only drink out of striped or chevron-patterned straws during the cocktail party. If the straws aren't multicolored, why even serve drinks?
- You really took the scenarios in Bridesmaids to heart. Those were legitimate life lessons for a bride-to-be.
- You're having trouble deciding between Sam Smith's "Latch" (acoustic version, of course) and John Legend [9]'s "All of Me" for your first dance.
- What your boobs look like is a giant factor in determining your dress choice.
- You plan to be adorned in as many pearls as possible.
- You need a vintage typewriter to be a decorative piece next to your guest sign-in book.
- Stacked vintage suitcases covered in lace doilies are also a necessity . . . It might be easy to just swap out "vintage" for "basic" permanently.
- You can't help but call your betrothed "my fiancé" even in front of people who totally know him by name.
- You somehow find an opportunity to reveal your upcoming nuptials to any and all strangers.
- Under NO circumstances can you have unpainted nails . . . Not now that you've got all that bling bling on your fing fing.
And last but not least . . .
- You have no shame about any of it, and why should you?! Marriage rules!