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This or That: Smothers You or Ignores You?

After a couple of years, you and your boyfriend have found yourselves in the comfort zone of your relationship. For the most part things are good, and you enjoy feeling settled, but you get the feeling he doesn’t. His behavior makes it seem like he’s having some insecurities about the relationship. You love him, but he’s driving you nuts. Would it be worse if . . .

This: He's gone from being doting to completely obsessive and overappreciative? When he’s with you, you can’t even sigh without him making a fuss about getting you something or making sure you're OK.

Or . . .

That: Suddenly it seems like half the time you’re with him he forgets you’re even there? He’s still affectionate, but he seems to be caught up in his own world and pays absolutely no attention to you.


Join The Conversation
Isista Isista 9 years
Honestly...neither. I mean, if I HAD to pick, I would choose the smothering with attention. I like attention, so I wouldn't be able to stand the ignoring. But attention ALL THE TIME gets annoying.
murdock99tx murdock99tx 9 years
I agree w/sugarbritches. Ignoring = HUGELY bad sign early in the relationship!
brookrene brookrene 9 years
I wanna be smothered! I couldn't handle being ignored.
emalove emalove 9 years
Um, I'll take the smothering! Being ignored would be least for me, anyway.
designerel designerel 9 years
Clinginess is a huge turnoff. The question asked if I'd rather be ignored half the time or smothered. I say ignored half the time. As long as it's not all the time lol. If I was being smothered I would be dying to get away from him.
aeschere aeschere 9 years
i'm with Lovely too
Greentea1203 Greentea1203 9 years
This is my new boyfriend. We've been dating for 1 1/2 months and any time I sigh or have any 'tone' in my voice, he has to ask if I'm OK, if he did something wrong, and is always apologizing if he upset me. While that's nice that he cares about my feelings, he's WAY too sensitive and way too obsessive about making things perfect with us. I wish he'd just calm down and not take things so personally!!
bengalspice bengalspice 9 years
I'd love more affection ... but I don't want to be smothered. I like my independence.
sugarbritches sugarbritches 9 years
Being ignored would be a bad sign that early in a relationship. I like my space and I'm pretty independent, but being ignored completely would be a problem for me. I would rather find ways to sedate him if he gets too anxious about making me happy...hehehe
austerity austerity 9 years
That's what I'd say and I voted too. But the voting results show something else...?
vmruby vmruby 9 years
He gives me plenty of attention and love.I would rather have the attention than be ignored.....
blondiegirl1012 blondiegirl1012 9 years
I'm always the one wanting more attention. I'd love to be smothered.
aimeeb aimeeb 9 years
Lovely I'm with you.
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 9 years
I would much rather have him giving me attention 24/7 then giving me none.
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