If you are going through a divorce [1] and are in the separation process, there are certain hallmarks that you must go through in order to move on. And, of course, as hard as it may seem now, you truly want to move forward with your life, even if — like working through an injury — it's hard. The reality is there is a rainbow at the end of this storm [2], so hold your head high and keep on swimming!
You're getting comfortable being out in public alone.
You're not half of a couple anymore, so that means getting coffee by yourself, doing the groceries alone, going to events and weddings alone. Getting used to not having that "plus one" takes time.
You're enjoying alone time again.
Instead of feeling like you're going to panic during alone time, one of the hallmarks of divorce is really enjoying that time by yourself.
You've accepted completely that it's over.
The biggest hallmark of all is simply truly accepting that your marriage is over, completely, and that you're never getting back together.
You've celebrated the holidays as a singleton.
This can be really hard, especially the first year. But making it through is a hallmark that says, "You've got this!"
You're excited about having a blank, fresh slate.
If you're eager to try new things, date, and (in general) map out a new plan for your life, you've passed a major milestone and hallmark of divorce. Congrats!
You've kissed or slept with someone new.
This is a biggie. Being ready to touch another person romantically and sexually is a milestone that says you're letting go of your marriage.
Getting out with friends regularly is a norm.
. . . and not the exception anymore.
You're happy.
Finally! You're past the "Woe is me" stuff, and you feel good about your life.
You forgive yourself.
For any mistakes you made in the marriage, you have forgiven yourself and made peace in your heart.
You forgive your ex.
This is the one place where people tend to mess up. People hold onto anger and can't let go, not realizing that by holding onto that anger, they're only hurting themselves.