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Sunday Confessional: Boys Weekend Made Me Snoop

My boyfriend and I are very much in love, but he does a “guys” weekend a couple of times a year which definitely makes me feel a little bit uneasy. I think it's wonderful that he has such a tight knit group of male friends, but a few times a year just seems a little bit excessive to me. They travel to super hot spot destinations like Vegas, LA, Miami and New York and party their butts off. Whenever he comes home, he sleeps for an entire day!

I know they are just male bonding by playing cards, drinking and gambling, but I also know that they go out to clubs sometimes and dance. We are not young 21 year olds; I am 33 and he is 36. I try and be understanding about these weekends but if we get married is he going to expect to do this forever?

One day we got into an argument when I asked him if they go to strip clubs. I know that it's wrong, but my insecurities got the best of me and I went snooping through his blackberry a few days before he was leaving for Los Angeles.

I found an e-mail that was asking who wanted to pay extra to see a "ballerina." I know that most likely ballerina is code for stripper or dancer and my heart sank. At that moment I wondered if he would ever pay for sex? Now my own disturbed thoughts had me steaming, so I continued to thumb through more e-mails.

I found out that a friend of his is cheating on his wife and that another friend had a threesome last week with two women - neither which was his wife. Now, I just don't like these guys and I don't want them hanging around my boyfriend. If I confess, he'll know I was snooping, so I guess I just have to continue to trust him or end the relationship. Was it wrong for me to look through his private e-mails?

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