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Sunday Confessional: Business or Pleasure?

Dear Sugar

I am a director at a public relations company, and I have just finished an extensive job search. I met a couple of great, highly qualified women, but to be honest, in the back of my mind I was always looking to hire a man - preferably on the very attractive side.

The truth is that I am single, and I spend quite a lot of my time at work. My office is primarily comprised of women, and I haven't really had the time to date in almost a year. Clearly, I am not hiring him strictly based on his looks since I still need someone competent, but I would be lying if I didn't think that there was a possibility of forging something more than just a work relationship.

I am not going to abuse my power to force something romantic but isn't it true that 25% of people meet at work? I know that it is common for a man to hire attractive women in the business world so does this make it wrong for me to do the same thing?

Join The Conversation
fran441 fran441 9 years
So you're going to hire someone so you can sleep with him?! Nice one. You don't deserve your job.
onesong onesong 10 years
holy crap, knock it off. i've never put not forgive until now! seriously, women have worked VERY hard to make positions like the one you are in possible for you, and you are talking about abusing that power in a very big way. and the "men do it" sounds like whining to me. if all men jumped off a bridge, would you? you should be ashamed of yourself.
Sad-but-True Sad-but-True 10 years
Did you ever see "Sex And The City"? You're a male Samantha. You can't help it.
rbuss05 rbuss05 10 years
i don't think i would ever date my immediate supervisor--but it is always nice to have some eye candy around the office, assuming they are on par with the lesser-attractive option, of course.
AngelNess AngelNess 10 years
I work in PR, too, so I understand it's a female-dominated profession (especially on the agency side). However, this would create a really awkward situation, even if it worked out. That, and I'd be hesitant to date anyone in the same professional field. You'd totally just talk about the same things, have the same gripes, and you'd have less of an opportunity to share different thoughts and ideas, variety being the spice of life. I work with all PR guys now (being in-house at a company), and trust me, you see them so much at work, events, travel, etc. that they become way more like your brothers than potential bfs. In fact, I kind of miss the camaraderie of other girls and talking about silly subjects like celebrities! So, definitely try to reach out of your comfort zone some more. Go out with the girls to some bars/clubs, take up a hobby, try an online dating service if just to meet new friends, who have other friends, etc. It's PR, not ER. I'm dating a snowboarder. Don't let it consume you.
getstinko getstinko 10 years
that's just 100% unprofessional. Grow up.
wasabigizmobunny wasabigizmobunny 10 years
There is nothing wrong with hiring a good looking guy BUT you cannot presume or harbour hope that you will date that guy. If you are desperate to meet someone, I agree that you should try a dating services and not look for specimens at the office. ...Think outside the office! There is life to be lived. "The best way out is always through"
Padraigin Padraigin 10 years
Hello lawsuit.
honeysugar28 honeysugar28 10 years
I think in the long run you want the most qualified candidate for the position. Unless you work for a modeling company your looks shouldn't be the basis of your job.
rubialala rubialala 10 years
As long as he is as qualified as the other women you interviewed, I say forgive. Otherwise you are discriminating and HR could have a field day with you if they figure it out.
vmruby vmruby 10 years
Not forgive....... This whole thing is giving me the creeps.You are abusing your position for your own personal gain. Human Resources would have a field day with you.Your boss needs to get rid of you and replace you with a woman. Honestly your office is not a dating service and folks who apply for the position are not slabs of meat for you to peruse as possible bedmates.Someone needs to figure out what you are all about and soon.
pink_magnetism pink_magnetism 10 years
You can't hire someone just because you want to date them. If you hired a man because he was the most qualified for the job and something naturally developed from working to gether that would be different but hiring someone in the hopes they'll be your boyfriend is wrong.
Pinkperfectpixie Pinkperfectpixie 10 years
"power"? Good Lord...
dreamsugar dreamsugar 10 years
NOT FORGIVE: I think you need NOT use your job as a singles bar - honestly. There are people out there that need work and you're abusing your position to basically speed date (?) I understand your horny - but this is not the way to go about getting a screw! Have you ever heard of or eHarmory -- use them and WAKE-UP - you're in trusted to manage not manipulate. Get a clue.
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
hiring someone is so subjective; what's really better or more? wouldn't matter to me if men did this or not, every person needs to hire to fill the needs of their company. if the candidate that you hire does that, and fills some of your personal needs, well i see that as a perk. obviously you can't force something to happen, but you can hope. who knows, maybe a new hot assistant will inspire you to do even greater things for your company. nothing to forgive. this is totally fine.
lilxmissxmolly lilxmissxmolly 10 years
NOT FORGIVE: did you ever think about the "highly-qualified women" who you've denied a job they may have needed so you could get a date. My God, woman, go to a bar, or a club, or, or something. **“In my mind, I’ve always been an A-list Hollywood superstar. Y’all just didn’t know yet.” -Will Smith **
Pinkgirl88 Pinkgirl88 10 years
Basically that story sounds like sexual harassment. Imagine hearing a guy say that he wants to hire a hot girl because he is lonely. I would relax a little. Trying that hard to find a boyfriend never works. why not volunteer somewhere on the weekend or ask your friends if they know anyone. TINA!
Ms_Magnificent1 Ms_Magnificent1 10 years
So you think its fine to rob a perfectly qualified woman out of the hire a probably not so qualified male that you want to bed? So what happens if he doesn't want to sleep with you...or has a serious committed relationship? I guess you will find a way to fire him huh? You are pathetic and I hope your supervisors figure you out and hire someone who deserves the position, and will not abuse their authority.
kittycat kittycat 10 years
u are being very unprofessional. one time i recently had an interview with some pervert. he told me about some of the people he hired for his company. and after 15 minutes of him talking without asking me any interview questions, i realized the low bar of ethical standards he has, and that he's into hiring pretty girls who are competent. a day later i emailed him a "no thanks i dont want the job"
cgmaetc cgmaetc 10 years
When men do this, we call them pigs, chauvinists, jerks, and perverts. Do you want to be sued for sexual harassment? -the ceeg
Marci Marci 10 years
Your plan is a lawsuit waiting to happen. You want to hire a guy with the secret hope that it might blossom into a romance because you have no life outside of work? Why don't you just hire a gigolo for after hours and be done with it.
angelbaby2 angelbaby2 10 years
try a dating service and NEVER MIX BUSINESS and a relationship with a boss-trust me on this one!
sarahlynn sarahlynn 10 years
crazyness. really tho, what would you tell him if he shot you down? " i only hired you to go out with me, so youre fired?" im not sure your the right type of person to be in a position of power at a company if all your ethics are as screwed up as this one.
inadee inadee 10 years
That is terrible. So you spend quite a bit of time at work. Try discovering some balance in life. It's PR not saving lives, you can spend some time away from the office for goodness sake.
vanyvrgs vanyvrgs 10 years
I am sorry this is about the worse thing I have heard. You are not hiring a coworker but a subordinate and you are never allowed to date subordinates at the office. Even your hinting at wanting something with him could lead to a harassment charge in this litigious world. I would stay clear of that idea and him, if you do hire him for his looks. Moreover, just cause some men hire women for their looks (and is wrong) does not make it right when you do it. How about try to find a man outside the office instead of someone who has to work for you and keep you happy so that he can get ahead at the office? Horrible. Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strenght
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