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Sunday Confessional: Don't Hate Me Because I've Re-Gifted

Sunday Confessional: Don't Hate Me Because I've Re-Gifted

Dear Sugar,

I have been working overtime this holiday season and haven't had very much time to shop for presents. My fantastic boyfriend is currently out of work and has been hinting to me that he's spent countless hours buying and creating homemade special gifts for me.

When I broke up with my last boyfriend, he gave me back the fancy watch that I had bought him for his birthday. Inside there is an engraving that reads, "Yours Til The End of Time. I Love You," and it's signed with my name at the bottom.

The watch is virtually new. He only wore it for two months and seeing as I can't return it because of the engraving I've decided to re-gift it and give it to my current boyfriend. It's so special and I know he will really appreciate something so generous. He would never ever spend that kind of money on himself.

I am fully aware that this is wrong, but like I said, I have zero time to shop and it sounds like he's put so much effort into gifts for me that I am justifying in my head that this is OK. We are going to be exchanging gifts tomorrow on Christmas day with both of our families. Can you forgive me?

Join The Conversation
c0rkie c0rkie 9 years
i say forgive but then again... it's a double standard. how would you feel if he regifts an ex gf's gift for you?
Tiinnaaaa Tiinnaaaa 10 years
Not forgive.. :/ i completley agree with Valeri
Brittany14706805 Brittany14706805 10 years
I for one dont agree with this. I dont think regifting is bad in certain cases like other relatives etc, but this is a guy your in love with and your giving him a gift that was meant for an ex that you loved and wrote that too. I for one would be devasted if my current bf gave me a gift that was that personal that he had meant for another girl. Thats just wayyy wrong and if he finds out it probably will hurt him very much. What were you thinking and I agree with some on how much can you really mean it if you are saying the exact same words to 2 different guys back to back. Come on girl think!!! I would have to say unforgive in this case.. think if it was reversed and you found out he did that to u.. how would it make you feel.
Ms_Magnificent1 Ms_Magnificent1 10 years
I don't have a problem with re-gifting if its something like a bag of chocolates (unopened of course) and you just want to give someone a lil something extra but something like that I think NOT! Sweetie there are two reasons you must NOT give your new boo this watch: 1. It was worn for 2 months...keyword here it was worn! Gross, if something was worn period it is no longer new...I'm a fashionista type chick so I would NEVER do a thing like that! 2. It was personalized, sweetie you should have told your ex to keep that watch.
cubadog cubadog 10 years
Not Forgive. I think regifting is tacky especially something that personal! I am with a lot of the other post if he gave you an egagement ring from an ex face it you would be pissed off and hurt. If I were you take it the watch manufacturer and they can put a new back on the watch it is not that expensive. It is one thing to give someone a candle that you hate the smell of and know they would love but you should not slap a bow on it like you bought it. You need to tell them you received it as a gift and thought they would enjoy it more.
getstinko getstinko 10 years
Do not give him this watch unless you straight up tell him that it was engraved for your ex. If you can get a jeweler to remove the engraving I'd regift it, and never bring up the previous engraving. Regifting the watch isn't the issue, it's the words engraved on the watch and the fact that you felt that way about another man and think it's easy to transfer those feelings so easily. If you cherished a watch that was engraved with a special sentiment, only to find out that those words of sentiment were originally for someone else you'd be furious and very sad. Also too busy to shop for your boyfriend's gift? Are you sure you don't mean too lazy?
crispet1 crispet1 10 years
Ditto what everyone else has said. Usually I dont get involved in these Sunday Confessionals, but this one is crazy. First, this is your bf. Potentially the closest person to you in life, and it sounds like he is a total doll. He does not deserve to have a half-assed gift. He does not deserve a re-gifted present. He does not deserve an engraved watch leftover from your previous relationship. And I hardly doubt he deserves to waste his time on your apologies, if and when you ever extend them to him. I assume it was too tempting for you to see an expensive gift go to waste, but under no circumstances is it even marginally appropriate to give this gift. How can you look yourself in the mirror? I really hope for your sake this hasnt soured the relationship. You need to come clean about this.
jennifer76 jennifer76 10 years
Oh this is horrible. And now I'm just waiting for the letter to DearSugar "I felt so bad for regifting a watch with sentiments meant for SOMEONE ELSE to my loving boyfriend and I just have to clear my conscience so I told him and now he's really upset. Forgive?" NO.
SeptemberLights SeptemberLights 10 years
i have to say, NOT forgive. simply because if that ever happened to me and i found out i would be devastated. I do think regifting is okay to a certain extent. I got so many starbucks giftcards this year that i regifted some of them. However regifting something that is that personal is despicable. its almost as bad as regifting an engagement ring! SHAME ON YOU
BlondeSugar BlondeSugar 10 years
In the time it took you to write out this email you could have ordered him a gift online. I think it's a cheap excuse and you feel bad about the money you spend on that watch in the first place. I would feel really bad accepting his homemade gifts if I regifted.
a-nonny-mouse a-nonny-mouse 10 years
Not forgive -- for all good reasons in the posts listed above. I would be CRUSHED if I were given a gift under these circumstances. I would feel bone-achingly sad, and humiliated beyond repair. (And, as someone already mentioned, if a fellow Sugar-lover posted that her DH/BF gave her a gift of this sort, I would counsel her (without hesitation) to reconsider her relationship with that person.) I don't have such a big issue with re-gifting very general items. (It can be inexcusably tacky, depending on circumstance -- but if you let someone know that you were given a gift that you cannot or will not use, and you want to know if they'd like to have it, then it's perfectly fine.) I would never agree to re-gifting romantic, sentimental items EVER. It's so much more than tacky; it is (albeit unintentionally) hurtful, embarrassing, insulting, inconsiderate -- and deceitful! Plus, your reasons to do this are kinda lame. It all seems very lazy and superficial. I know it's too late now, but I sincerely hope you chose NOT to do this.
paigesweetkisses paigesweetkisses 10 years
definately NOT FORGIVE. I agree with Valeri.
AfflictedLove AfflictedLove 10 years
I definitely agree that this watch should not be given to your current beau. That is something that is really wrong. I would rather you make cute little IOU's or a nice dinner and massage or something rather than to give someone you care about this watch. It was given to someone that you did care about and those words, although very nice, are not for him. So with that being said, the watch shouldn't be for him either. I hope that you really didn't, but if you did, just forget about it, because you wouldn't want to see him with it and think of what he looks at as something that was never his.
la_clique la_clique 10 years
Ew. Bad Karma. Like a second hand engagement ring. Trade that watch in at the jewelry store or ebay it. How humiliating for your new boyfriend if he found out! Sorry, but it's just plain tacky. Re-gifting is a gift basket from your aunt, re-gifted as a hostess gift. An engraved watch does not compare.
lilxmissxmolly lilxmissxmolly 10 years
I chose forgive, but I was right in the middle. Re-gifting is fine, but that gift was an expression of your love for someone else, and if he ever found out it would hurt him so much. I know you've been working, but how much time does it really take? At least write him a nice letter or something. ~* “I think the thing to do is to enjoy the ride while you're on it.” -Johnny Depp *~
pink_magnetism pink_magnetism 10 years
You said you were exchanging gifts with both of your families. Does anyone in your family know that you originally gave that watch to your ex? Because that couldget really messy if someone there knows you gave that gift to your ex originally and your boyfriend finds out about it.
karmapunch karmapunch 10 years
Now, normally I think re-gifting is okay... but in this case I really don't think it is. I agree a lot with what Snickerdoodle said. I mean, you told your former boyfriend you'd love him til the end of time, and now you're re-gifting his watch to a new BF? And what if you don't tell your new BF, and he somehow finds out? I know there's a lot of pressure to get him a nice gift, but it's not worth that much lying.
nekkidgossip nekkidgossip 10 years
Not Forgive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You could have had time to go Christmas, you were just to lazy to plan it out. Worst case get him something little and tell him you will get his main gift to him soon. Your man should find a new women.
sabrinaland sabrinaland 10 years
This has Bad Karma written all over it! Do not give your current boyfriend the watch as the sentiments were originally meant for the previous boyfriend.
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
NOT forgive. come on ladies, if one of us was writing to dear sugar about her man re-gifting a watch the same way we'd be yelling "ditch him"! terrible to "issue" the same gift for who ever happens to share your bed. poster, are you capable of real emotion? the cost of a gift isn't what matters; it's the thought, and the thought here SUCKS! i'm bringing naughty back :naughty_elves:
snickerdoodle snickerdoodle 10 years
I decided not to forgive you - not because I think regifting is always a bad thing (if someone gives me a generic stuffed bear one year, I have no qualms about giving it away a couple years later), but because you obviously made this gift so personal that the idea of giving it to someone else makes me wonder how much you meant it the first time. "Yours til the end of time" is pretty strong language, and the idea that it would be applicable to two boyfriends, back to back, no questions asked, seems a little strange to me. But then, what would be gained by letting a pricy watch lie around for year after year? I'm a little on the fence.
gossipqueen gossipqueen 10 years
I think re-gifting in some occasions is O.K....since the watch is pricey I forgive but NEVER EVER EVER tell him those words on it were not meant for him the first time!!! NEVER!
HariboLicorice HariboLicorice 10 years
Honey- there's nothing wrong with re-gifting. I don't do it often, but honestly, there's nothing horrible about it. Anything is better than going out and doing what I saw people do yesterday while buying deodorant: BUYING WHITMANS. As long as you're not buying Whitman's and Russel Stover and other disgusting drugstore chocolates, you're nowhere near the bottom of the gift-giving barrel. Be Merry
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