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Sunday Confessional: I Am Living a Lie in My Own Home

I dated my ex boyfriend for about two years. When I was first getting to know him, I met one of his good friends and had an instant connection with him. From that point on, we would joke around about running away together and how we are having a secret love affair, etc. Except I soon realized I wasn't kidding anymore, and neither was he. So I made plans to break up with my boyfriend so we could be together. Before I had the chance, my boyfriend's friend starting dating someone completely out of the blue. His friends told me it was because he didn't think I was ever going to break up with my boyfriend, and he needed to distract himself and move on with his life.

Fast forward a year.

I have broken up with that boyfriend. My crush's girlfriend is now my ROOMMATE and I am still in love with him. We have hooked up... twice. He still hasn't broken up with her and I am overwhelmed with guilt, jealousy, and frustration. I am trying to move on, but I'm not sure I will ever be able to, all the while lying to my roommate about sleeping with her boyfriend. My life is just a mess.


Join The Conversation
calli-gurl calli-gurl 8 years
U and that dude, both of u are totally guilty and non forgiven. ure a real slut, i must say. first, u fall for ure bfs friend. next u sleep with him when u know that hes seeing ure roommate. ure a real slut. i say not forgive and should never be forgiven. oh the humanity. women like u, SHAME u cheated on ure bf u cheated on ure roommate and ure cheating on that dude
frieddumpling frieddumpling 9 years
Not forgive. So you cheated on your boyfriend with his good friend and now you hooked up with the friend while he is in a relationship with someone else? I don't think that's a hard question. You need to get your feelings straight and do the right thing before you hurt any more people in your life. Be considerate of others' feelings. You think you have it really bad now because you can't figure out what you want or face up to the consequences of doing the right thing? I'm sure your ex and the friend's current girlfriend is not feeling much better after they find out what you guys were/are up to.
dammitjanet13 dammitjanet13 9 years
I forgave you because i think you are in a rough situation that you definately need to remove yourself from. Everything is a mess and you have to leave everything behind. Even though you may love this guy it is time to move on and get yourself out of the funk.
ecolizzie ecolizzie 9 years
OH PS... I most definately forgive. It really sucks what he did to you tho
ecolizzie ecolizzie 9 years
I am in the same situation....being in love with a boyfriend's best friend. I broke up with my bf and am now dating the bestfriend, however, we cant tell anyone. Im really happy that we are together finally, after talking about it for 3 years. I dont know what Im going to do when my ex finds out though. YIKES!
reddevilgirl reddevilgirl 9 years
man, that is one tangled knot you got there. You just gotta pull the strings attached. I'm afraid you might have to confont both of them. Tell your roommate the truth and tell that guy that you like, that hes taking too long. Well.. thats what i would do.
scoop45 scoop45 9 years
Move on it`s not worth it!lol
cassey cassey 9 years
how would u feel if somebody did the same to you? all i can say is that try putting yourself in her shoes & then se how you would feel- hurt, right? so, pls. stop what you are doing & begin a new life!!!
glittergypsy glittergypsy 9 years
I agree with Jaxon comment 13, I really agree and she is so very right.. Love and Peace Shawn
PinkNC PinkNC 9 years
Lastly, I know you’re attached to this man emotionally because you have been cheating together for a while. But try to see how it feels to meet another man, and have a few dates with them. You may just find that your cheating was not necessary. There is someone out there for everyone, but you have to step out and find them too. They’re not going to fall into your lap. Stop, stop, stop cheating, it doesn’t do anyone any good mentally or physically. One lie leads to another, and a lot of wasted time in life. You are wasting your time waiting on a man that may only want sex from you, so therefore he will keep stringing you along. He may like the rush of this roller coaster…but you sound a mess when it comes to only this part of your life. Real love doesn’t cheat, it will wait. Real love doesn’t lie to you from week to week on anything either. And try to also see it this way…….that this man is easily going from woman to woman, quite possibly, and cheating on them with you. Consider that he could possibly play this very convincing game with you when you are the supposed “only one” in his life later on. He will cheat on you too, and because you love him, you will be completely clueless just like your last boyfriend was about him, and just like his current girl is clueless about him cheating on her with you. USUALLY (not always), once a cheat always a cheat, it is in them. They only just get better over time with the cheating so each mate/ spouse will never know about it, they get a lot smoother. It’s not worth it. But you are worth so much more in life, even if you’ve made these stupid mistakes. We ALL make idiotic mistakes in life. So feel bad…yes of course, you were in the wrong on a serious level..…but get over it and better yourself for your own sake. Life goes on and you only have one life to live. There is a real man out there 4 you that wont cheat. And is willing too love you for your faults as well as your achievements. But you have to get out there to find him, stop acting as if this is the only mal out there that you can get…so find another….AND DO NOT make it another persons man again. Oh, and move out now. No more roommates for you.
PinkNC PinkNC 9 years
No do not come clean…just get out smoothly and start over fresh. And do not tell the world about it. Do not tell him either, he obviously doesn’t care that much about your well being, or you would not be going through this emotional roller coaster. You are NOT the only one at fault here. But are you completely wrong with your actions thus far. You need to wake up to a lot of thing. You also need to be alone to find yourself, and a week or two is not going to do it. You need to live alone for one thing. Living with her is making it too easy for you to see this man. And if this so called real man loved you, then it would not have been so easy for him to move on. Who knows, you may not have been the only one he was with so many years ago, while you assumed you were the only one cheating on a mate. Meaning he may have planned to be with someone else when he finally knew that you were breaking up with his friend. He didn’t want that much of an attachment to you, he just pretended like he did, until it was time for you two to be alone…so you thought.
superval13 superval13 9 years
i dont know.. thats pretty bad... just come clean. dont be suprised if things dont come your way.
soybean589 soybean589 9 years
I say undecided because the situation still isn't finished (unless it already has by this time). I think there's still time for you to either right your wrongs or sink down deeper and I hope it's the former. I think you need to stop hooking up with him for the time being and have an honest chat with him. If he's not in the same boat with you, move on. You don't need this.
meganekko meganekko 9 years
forgive yourself and dump his loser ass! you deserve much better than some chump that's stringing you along!
getstinko getstinko 9 years
God bless this dude! He's got two in one house - man deserves a trophy. You however are just being used and you will most likely take the brunt of the outcome. Good luck with all that. try to make better choices. oh and if roles were reversed and i found out my roommate was sleeping with my love interest ... you'd wake up with no hair.
SexyNeverLeft78 SexyNeverLeft78 9 years
I hate to sound crass, but you are pretty much whoring yourself once you knew he didn't break up wiht your now-roomate. I wouldn't forgive you and try to kick you out myself. Sorry girl, but that's a real messed up look right there and you may want to end it pronto. Or move out. Either way, you're gonna get hurt and possibly homeless.
Gracie Gracie 10 years
Forgive yourself and forget about him! Any man worth having would not allow this situation to continue. He's imagining a 3-way while you are imagining two hearts beating as one. Take action now and get a new roomie or even better, a new place and start living your new, happier life free of guilt and heartbreak. Throw yourself into fun situations with new people and places. He'll probably come sniffing around when he sees the confident happy you getting on with it, but recall how easy it is for him to lie and cheat and stand your ground.
Misplaced-Angel Misplaced-Angel 10 years
good grief girl. and u r still HERE ?!?!?!? first thing i sugest you should do is GET OUT OF THAT ROOM. Find yourself a new roommate. and dont wait for him. he probably is leading you on. it will only lead you to disappointment later on so stop it before it hhurts u too much kay?
Ashlie-H Ashlie-H 10 years
I can see it from your point of view, but I can also imagine that I was the girlfriend and my friend was sleeping with my heart would break. I guess.. not forgive.
annbaby annbaby 10 years
If he knows that you are living with his girlfriend, and he's letting it happen, he's either not interested in you anymore, or leading you on. So either way, you should move out, and move on. Good luck.
grl-in-the-world grl-in-the-world 10 years
You've gotta stop sleeping with this guy...he's taken, he chose someone else. Move out of the apartment and if you're on a lease get a sub-letter to take your place. What reason does this guy have to break up with his girlfriend? Right now he has her AND you on the side (both in one convenient location!!) Even if you move out and he becomes single, I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole. Do you really want a guy who lies and cheats? If you get in a relationship with him he'll play you the same way.
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 10 years
have to agree with everyone here --- situation is way too complicated. You need to take a step back (and step out of it) before you can figure things out.
Sherbear Sherbear 10 years
The sad things is it's really not fair to your roommate. He's is NOT the kind of person you want to be with but you are too close to the situation to see that now. You will over need to get the heck away from him and don't look back. You will NEVER trust him so don't go there. It's just a heart ache waiting to happen.
amandabuchanan amandabuchanan 10 years
i think you just need to break ties with all of them (with or without them knowing the truth- it doesnt matter)... get a fresh clean start.
magmalux magmalux 10 years
move on. he clearly enjoys the thrill of forbidden fruit. move on and move out! distance yourself from the situation. time to start fresh and learn from the mistakes.
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