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Sunday Confessional: I Demoted My Matron of Honor

Dear Sugar,

I just got engaged a few weeks ago and I'm really excited to start planning my wedding. My best friend got married two years ago and I was her maid of honor, so it only seemed right to ask her to be mine. I thought she'd be psyched to help me with all the planning, but she keeps backing out on our appointments and when she does come along, she's not at all enthusiastic, which is making it less fun for me.

I saw her recently and she confessed that she's been having some problems with her husband, and they're thinking about separating. She basically said that marriage isn't as wonderful and romantic as it's cracked up to be. She then went into saying that she knows she hasn't been helping me with wedding stuff, but it's because she feels sorry for me that I'm getting married, and that I'll be stuck like her.

I couldn't help it. I blew up. Who was she to rain on my parade and compare her relationship to mine? I said that I loved her to death, but I didn't think it would be right for her to be a part of my wedding anymore since she wasn't supporting my union. She started bawling, mostly because she's so depressed about a possible divorce, but also because she was really hurt by what I said. Should I be forgiven for demoting her, or was I right to react that way?


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