Skip Nav
50 States of Weddings: See What "I Do" Looks Like in Every State
Your Guide to Traveling With Sex Toys (Don't Worry, Yours Won't Be the First TSA's Seen)
It Took Me Years to Report My Sexual Assault, but My Story Still Matters

Sunday Confessional: I Hate the Gift My Boyfriend Gave Me!

My boyfriend and I spent our first Christmas together this year. I'm a big holiday person so I went all out, spending months racking my brain to think of the perfect gift for him: a ski jacket he'd had his eye on.

We celebrated on Christmas Eve, had a lovely home-cooked meal, and snuggled up by the fireplace — it was a perfect evening. When it came time to open gifts, I wanted him to go first. All my hard work paid off because he absolutely loved it. When it was my turn to open, however, I couldn't have been more shocked — it was like he didn't know me at all!

I get that Christmas isn't all about presents, but I can't help but feel disappointed that he got me such an impersonal gift — a gift certificate to a store I would never shop at! I faked it and thanked him, but I guess my feelings were written all over my face because he knew something was wrong. I hate lying to him so can I be forgiven if I tell him the truth? I just don't think I can keep it in much longer.


Join The Conversation
KCLea KCLea 8 years
I think you should tell him you feel gift cards are a bit impersonal. Say that while you are grateful for him getting you something, please try to put a more personal touch into it next time.
RubberDogTurds RubberDogTurds 8 years
wtf people.... NOT forgive. You don't get your significant other a gift card ON YOUR FIRST CHRISTMAS. Plain and simple. Now, don't kick him to the curb but definitely call him out. If he's that insensitive about giving a gift, which is more than just materialistic (showing you spent time shopping and thinking about each other and wanted to surprise the other preson), then who knows what's next down insensitivity road.
ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
i think that it's important to put things into perspective here. if it's the first xmas that you've spent together - then it means that you've probably only been together a year - or less right? that also means that he hasn't had many opportunities to buy a present, to know what you like and what you don't like. my fiance isn't the best at getting me presents cause he doesn't quite know my taste, and we've been together for 2.5 years. just know that guys aren't always the best at gifts,and that girls are typically more thoughtful - so being that way, you just have to deal with it. maybe you can pass along the gift cert. to a friend and then just be done with it. it doesn't mean that he doesn't care for you - maybe he just didn't know what specifically to get you and didn't want to guess the wrong sizes or something.
GScott86 GScott86 8 years
Guess I'm that 1% lol...4 years in a row and all my gifts are perfect, even when it's not Christmas :-P (Not sure if that sounds dirty...I don't think?)
danizzle danizzle 8 years
MEN ARE FROM A DIFFERENT PLANET! unless your guy falls into the 1% of straight men that actually know how to shop and what you like, they just give you whatever seems good to them. men are like children; you must tell them EXACTLY what you want from them. since october, i've been sending my boyfriend little emailing him links and when i dragged him to the mall, i would point out things and say "i hope santa brings me that for xmas!"..i also had my best girlfriend call him to help him out. you have to forgive him, but for the next holiday, make sure to give him a little list of things that you do want, even if you have to spell it out for will save you upset and disappointment the next time around!!
bchicgrl bchicgrl 8 years
I think if it was so important to you, you should have given him hints on what you wanted (kinda like you noticed him looking at the ski jacket) Guys can't be expected to be able to read our minds especially when it's a new relationship. Granted I think a gift card is a last minute panic gift but like others said at least he got you something. I would try and trade it in for money, either via the store or a friend/family who does like to shop there. Next year just make sure you leave hints laying around about what you would like.
kristyy kristyy 8 years
Hey, don't feel bad. I'm married and my husband still sucks at gift giving! I'm a big birthday/holiday person and love shopping for people, getting them personal gifts that show that I know them. At this point, I'd be happy for a gift card to my favorite store. Even though he continues to disappoint me in the gift giving department, he's wonderful in so many other ways that I just sigh and move on. Then I buy whatever I like and make myself feel better. :)
darkkissezz darkkissezz 8 years
at least u got a gift....
Sugasuga29 Sugasuga29 8 years
I took back every single thing (except one) that my husband got me this year. Gloves that didn't fit, workout gear that didn't fit, and a perfume gift set that upset me, cuz I specifically asked him to pick out a bottle of perfume for me that HE liked the scent of. He has laughed it off and said "I didn't do so hot this year!" I have a feeling next year he'll return to his thoughtful gift-giving...cuz that's what counts--being able to tell that someone put thought into your gift! Not just a gift certificate to a random store. ;)
momma-tikita momma-tikita 8 years
I say forgive. My hubby and I always tell each other the truth when it comes to presents! This year the only thing I told him him were a few hundred "thank you"'s. One year he bought me a bracelet that was cute but not me and I told him. Yea he was a little disappointed but he'd rather have me wearing something I love than something that's "cute".
mondaymoos mondaymoos 8 years
I think I'm one of the only people who say forgive for not liking it. A GIFT CERTIFICATE?? It's one thing if he put thought into something and you hated it... then I would keep it to myself like Not Princess. But a gift certificate is a COMPLETE cop out. If you're a terrible gift giver, then give me a terrible gift. Anything's better than a gift card, especially if you don't like the store it was bought from. If you can't trade it in for cash like someone else suggested, I'd craigslist it.
fancifulfabi fancifulfabi 8 years
My boyfriend got me several little gifts for Christmas, all of which I really liked. But he threw in a hideous pair of earrings and I told him honestly that they weren't really my style. He was totally cool with it, wasn't mad at all and we actually laughed about it. In fact he told me later that he was really glad I was so honest with him when I didn't like something because then he could tell that when I said I did like something, I meant it. I think honest, open communication can only be good for a relationship, provided you both tread carefully around each other's feelings. With time hopefully you'll be comfortable enough around each other that a little playful criticism won't be blown out of proportion.
laceymace laceymace 8 years
My guy's gift to me was complete shit but I love him so whatever.
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 8 years
Yes, men suck at shopping. Jeez! What is this?:P
CYL CYL 8 years are right Christmas isn't about the frikin gifts. You had a great evening together, he got you something you didn't like...but he tried. So let it go. Why would you go tell him and hurt him? Its not like its a piece of jewllery he expects you to wear every day and its hideous.
krae85 krae85 8 years
A ski jacket? This man is gay. You have bigger problems than christmas presents..
cravinsugar cravinsugar 8 years
also, as mentioned above, guys don't get women and shopping. drag him along to facorite stores about 2 months before Christmas, and gush over things your eally like. he will pick up on it eventually. my fiance lives in a house with LOTS of women (his sister, her friend, 4 nieces at varying stages of life...child to 20 something) so he has an idea about what needs to be done. hahaha. i am so goofy. just writing this makes me want to go find him and give him a big cuddly hug because he is so thoughtful towards me, and caring. too bda i can't see him until wednesday night
cravinsugar cravinsugar 8 years
If this is your first Christmas, he may not have known what to get you whether he knows you well or not. Maybe tha tis why he gave you a gift you could get something yoy really like? I don't really think I know how you feel though at all...the first Christmas my fiance and i were together, he did the 12 days of Christmas for me...meaning i got a present each day, and they were creative like, 6 pairs of socks on the sixth day of christmas, a cd with 12 songs on the twelfth lol. he topped it off with a butterfly shaped sapphire and dimaond necklace i had been coveting that he wrapped up in what looked like a big case of tic tacs (and it sounded like them too) he always says he doesn't know what to get me, but he always gets me something i love...(or rather, I always love what he gets me because I love him so much). I can't wait for our wedding and to spend our first married chrstmas together next year!!!!
GScott86 GScott86 8 years
Get over it. But I guess not everyone is like me where material gifts are everything. My friend gave me Batman: The Dark Knight, something I wasn't expecting, and I'm not really into keeping dvd movies. But I liked it anyway, but the more important give to me was her. Got to spend my Christmas with her and that's all that mattered. So what if he didn't know what you wanted, and you didn't get what you wanted for that one day. You have him everyday, and there's plenty of chances for him to get you all the things you want. There''s too much emphasis on gift giving when it comes to Christmas. Everyday is a gift, whoever said Christmas gifts should be more important than any other gift anyway?
lilywanderer lilywanderer 8 years
its ok. maybe valentines day u can tell giv clues on wat u would like :)
missangelique999 missangelique999 8 years
I meant Not Forgive you, not him. Sorry, obviously I've had a few too many drinks tonight.
missangelique999 missangelique999 8 years
I voted Not Forgive-Christmas is about spending time with family and friends and the people you love and care about. It's not about the gifts, and it's not about what you get. He took the time to buy you something, and that's all that matters. I think you're being really petty and not looking at the big picture. You said yourself that you had a nice evening, dinner, sitting by the fire, etc. and yet you're complaining about a gift? You seem like a whiny, petulant child. Grow up. Maybe he doesn't really know you because you haven't shown your true colors yet?? I would advise keeping your feelings about the gift secret.
Marci Marci 8 years
I agree with the comments about some people just not having the knack of gift shopping. And by and large, many men just don't seem to have the 'gift' gene. Would you end a relationship with a fantastic guy just because he's not great at buying gifts? I sure wouldn't. And at least he had one for you. There are women out there who get nothing on holidays or birthdays, so you're ahead of the game there. Use the gift card he gave you to get something you want, then excitedly show him what you got. He may just be one of those guys that will slowly get the hang of buying for you.
Not-Princess22 Not-Princess22 8 years
I totally understand this, im in the same situation. I gave him a very expensive cel phone wich he totally loves and he gave me a designer bag but..i didnt like it. I mean, Im obsessed with handbags so I understand why he bought me one but its not my style and already have a few of the same color. I feel bad that I didnt like it but I can help it :( I havent tell him anything and i dont think I will, im going to keep pretending that I like it just to make him happy :) he was very excited when he gave it to me.
What to Do If Your Partner Is Controlling
Unique Anniversary Ideas
Chrissy Teigen's Scalloped Potatoes Recipe
10 Student-Teacher Romances in Movies
From Our Partners
Latest Love
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds