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Sunday Confessional: I Hooked Up With My Ex Who Has a Girlfriend

My ex-boyfriend and I dated extremely seriously for three years. We broke up around this time last year because we realized that we wanted different things out of life. It was an extremely hard breakup, and I had to move in order to get over him and our relationship. I've since regained my life and am feeling much better about our split.

We haven't spoken in months, and I usually do a very good job avoiding him when I come home to visit family and friends. Every year on Thanksgiving, through, my group of friends get together to kind of unwind from a day with the family at our local pub. I went, and my ex was there as well. It was great to see him, but the second we hugged I realized that our connection is still very much there. We chatted alone most of the night, and I found out he has a new girlfriend who was spending the holiday with her family. As the night wore on and the drinks flowed, we slipped back into our old ways and it wasn't long before we walked out of the bar together. Long story short, we spent the night together and it was amazing, but more so because I realized that I just don't love him the way I used to.

Part of me is glad this happened between us, but the other part makes me feel like a terrible person because he has a girlfriend, which makes me the other woman. I have never stood for cheating, but something in me just felt like we needed to do this one last time so I could finally move on for good. Can I be forgiven for having sex with my ex-boyfriend even though he has a new girlfriend?

Submit your own Sunday Confessionals here to post them anonymously and see if you are forgiven!

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JenniferRose1406862151 JenniferRose1406862151 3 years

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dikke-kus dikke-kus 8 years
This is an old story. Two exes meet up. A few old sparks fly and then out of convenience they sleep together. It's really cheap and easy. Like stopping at a 711 so you don't have to drive too far. That's all. Real easy. Selfish. Stupid. Hopefully the morning light made it all seem ridiculous and embarrassing. I tend to say the whole thing stinks. I wonder where the new girlfriend thought he was that night. I hope he digs his own grave with this one.
rbebe rbebe 8 years
forgive....he should be asking if he should be granted forgiveness...
cbaby28 cbaby28 8 years
not forgive...you said so yourself you were in a good place in your life so why did you need him one last time to move on?? it was very selfish if you and you're just making mistakes for your awful behavior..not forgive!
myprivatespace myprivatespace 8 years
Forgive. Her past came back to her. It was natural what transpired. The man is guilty here and not the woman. She's single. He should have realized he was cheating on his girlfriend. Of course, if and when his girlfriend finds out, she'll be mad at both of them.. so I say the man is not forgivable, but surely, this female is.
keiraz keiraz 8 years
gr8 sign u still want one another 3 years is not a short time
calli-gurl calli-gurl 8 years
meeshee, just because u cheated it doesnt make it right or forgivable. im sorry but really, it doesnt
calli-gurl calli-gurl 8 years
very selfish, u were thinking about how easy it would be for u to move on. too selfish perhaps. how would u feel if it happened to u? just because u werent in a relationship doesnt give u the right to be with someone u know is it a relationship. it makes u just as bad as the one who cheated. u knew he had a girl, and yet u did it because u felt that it was important for u to move on. in short, ure a selfish bitch
meeshee meeshee 8 years
Forgive. of course, what she did was horrible.. and very selfish, especially with the attitude in which she posted her question! "we had an amazing night, etc." but i say forgive because people make mistakes. lord knows i have cheated, but felt horrible and am very thankful to have been forgiven. i know she didn't cheat, but she still did something horrible.. it's hard to hear that what you did was horrible and selfish, but it's true. i've cheated as well, and i know how gut wrenching it feels, but you don't display that guilt in your post, which is why all of these ladies are being so hard on you
bchicgrl bchicgrl 8 years
Forgive, it was most definitely wrong what you did but that being said he should have stepped up, been a man, and told you no "i have a gf"
356UIK 356UIK 8 years
Well at least you've moved on. Too bad you had to incur such bad karma in order to do so, but there you have it.
partysugar partysugar 8 years
Forgive. I've been in this exact situation, so I say forgive.
Lily-Inferno Lily-Inferno 8 years
Forgive. Shit happens. Learn from your mistake and move on. You know you did wrong, but then again so did he. It happens. I hate that so many ppl on this damn thing are so holier than though and what not. Yea she screwed up. For yes a very selfish reason, but what can you do?
lacornflakegirl lacornflakegirl 8 years
it's his responsibility to be faithful... you're single! if anyone should feel guilty, it's him. congrats for getting over your ex!
looseseal looseseal 8 years
As long as you feel even a little bad and you're not going to keep on doing this, you're not as bad as those that keep carrying on and on and feel like it's totally their due. So congrats, I guess, it means you're a notch better than bottom-feeding scum. If you're less self-satisfied about this whole thing, it'd put you many notches higher. candance87 is right. Cheaters are more likely to have STDs. Hence, having sex with a cheater = higher probability of getting STDs. Fellow single people: if you're not going to refrain from screwing the "attached" out of common human decency and/or mindfulness of the golden rule, at least refrain because of the increased likelihood of getting a disease (not to mention the extra complications in the event of accidental pregnancy - which as Grandpa so astutely pointed out, is more likely with drunken people involved). Nevermind forgiveness. I'd get a check up if I were you. Chillax about the lack of bashing of the guy. If he was the one who posted and asked for people to excuse his behavior as somehow okay, he'd get a much more severe dressing down, I'm sure. As it is, the OP is the one who's asking, so it makes sense that the responses are directed at her, not him. It doesn't mean the commenters here are all catty beeyotches who'd only bash the woman and let the man get off scot-free. If I ever post on a public forum saying that I'm pretty much mostly happy with myself for having done something that screwed someone else over, I'd fully expect to get smacked down with all sorts of words.
lilCROAT03 lilCROAT03 8 years
gluttonous.
Vaadsfweytes Vaadsfweytes 8 years
Also, people date for many different reasons. It doesn't mean they are serious or are in love. Cheating IS bad, but the girl does not deserve all the insults.
BRANDYNICOLE730 BRANDYNICOLE730 8 years
Not forgive. How can someone be forgiven for an action they don't see as wrong. She can't help she has no morals. He was no longer your boyfriend, for a year. How would you have liked it, if during your 3-year serious relationship he slept with his ex once to make sure he was over her. I'm sure that'd make you feel terrible. It's the Golden Rule: Do unto to others, as you would have them do unto you. So, you want your future boyfriends to cheat on you with their exes. That is what your actions are telling me. Don't forget to post us an update about your situation when you are in the girlfriend's shoes in the future, and tell us if the "other woman" should be forgiven. His girlfriend may be scarred with life long trust issues now, all because you decided it was ok to sleep with your attached ex.
Vaadsfweytes Vaadsfweytes 8 years
jodie_ohlala, I completely agree with you. Some people can be harsh. They dated for years! It's possible that the guy doesn't really care for a new girl friend or else he wouldn't have cheated on her. Nonetheless, it's wrong to sleep with a guy who is in a relationship whether it be your ex. But she should be forgiven
Colleeninator Colleeninator 8 years
I can't say I really disagree with that, annebreal. I'm fairly positive most of the people here just hurling insults all willy-nilly wouldn't respond to someone like that in real life, just as I'm positive some of them would. I can say that I would react the same in person as I do via the internet, but of course, that isn't everyone. Your original comment gave me the impression you were saying that people would "not forgive" a stranger when they would be willing to "forgive" a friend in the same exact situation. That's what I was all up in arms about (though there probably are one or two people that would forgive a friend just because that person is a friend). And, just like hope2be says, it's a double-edged sword. People can be monsters on the internet, but you're more likely to get what someone actually thinks than what society tells them they ought to say. (The name-calling is something that really gets to me also. There's a much more intelligible way to tell someone they've done something wrong than calling them a slut/whore/etc.)
hope2be hope2be 8 years
Just because you're single, it doesn't mean that you need to just cross the line of sleeping with attached male/female, hey, I really believe in those karma and don't do what you don't want others to do to you things. I've had more than one occasions, attached men hitting on me wanting more, and I never crossed the line..just because. Not saying that I have high morale or not (far from it), I just don't want karma to bite me in the ass and cause me same pain inflicted as I've helped inflicted to the significant other of these jerk-offs. And I'd treat strangers asking for an opinion the same way I treat my best friend. If it's my best friend who's sleeping around, I'd tell her that karma is going to bite her in the @ss although she's the single one. In fact, it happened a few years back, and oh boy, I told her and nagged her for awhile but she wouldn't quit shaggin' some married guy, but in the end, it's her choice, we did stop talking for a bit and karma did bite her...bad.. As for OP..oy vey, this is an open forum, I'm assuming that most people's posts are usually for the OP, so what if some react harshly more so than others? What's wrong with expressing strong opinion to the OP who's asking for some sort of opinion if she needs to be forgiven or whatever? annabreal, like you have every opinion to say 'forgive' or whatnot, the others also have the right to express strong dislike toward the OP (I'm not talking toward you, but toward the OP). And yes, the format has made it really easy to say whatever. But again, that's the beauty/double edge swords of Internet, until it's regulated in a certain way that you like, I doubt it'll change much. But hey, there's that 'report comment' button, I've never used it, but if you've seen anyone who crossed the line, there's that option for you to use it too. Like it's not possible for me to tell you what to say or change your mind, it's impossible too to get people to say things in a manner of being 'gentler' or more diplomatic the way you like it, because not all people are as diplomatic or what you perceive to be 'diplomatic.' Now, I'm going to chill out and have my 10th cup of coffee... :D
pinklove89 pinklove89 8 years
you all need to chill out
annebreal annebreal 8 years
Colleen - I don't think people vote the way they do because they're anonymous, I think they bash the way they do in the comments because of it. I mean, the poster is a stranger to all of us. It's not about how you would treat your best friend, it's how you would treat a stranger coming to you for feedback (and there's a reason why that would never happen in real life, of course). Would you really treat someone like that? Or would you be polite and diplomatic? That's what I'm saying. I think the format here makes it much easier to be nasty.
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