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Sunday Confessional: I Lied to My Boyfriend to Protect My Friend

Three years ago I met my boyfriend through my best friend's boyfriend, and the four of us have been a great group. But recently, they've been having some problems, so she and I have been logging in some girl time. A few weeks ago we went out for drinks and met some guys. They did their best to hit on us, and I politely shooed them away, but not before my friend started flirting with one. She had been drinking so I dragged her home and didn't think much of it.

Last weekend we went out again and I was shocked when she told me that the guy she had been flirting with was coming to meet us. I was angry, and told her I resented her for putting me in that position. I stormed out of the bar, but decided I'd wait a few minutes outside to see if she followed. When she didn't, I went back in to tell her I was leaving, only to find her making out with him. I pleaded with her to come with me, but she wouldn't listen so left alone.

The next day I talked to her and she claimed that she realized she had made a mistake, but needed time to sort things out before telling her boyfriend. But apparently the guys talked about how we got home at different times that night because my boyfriend confronted me, asking what happened. I knew that if I told him the truth he would feel obligated to tell his friend, so I told him that we got in a fight and she ended up hanging out with another girl friend of ours. It took some convincing, but he believed me. Now I feel completely awful. Even if it was to help my friend, I've never lied directly to my boyfriend before. If it all comes out, I know he'll be hurt. Do you think this is something I can be forgiven for?


Join The Conversation
dikke-kus dikke-kus 8 years
ughh. In the end it was best what you said. Too bad you had to be put in the middle of it. Tel her there's not going to be a next time though.
AngelBaby73 AngelBaby73 8 years
What you did was totally forgivable.It's not your fault that your friend acted that way.You should not be held responsible for what she did especially after you tried to prevent her from doing it.Besides,it's not your business.
calli-gurl calli-gurl 8 years
bestfriends come first. she was there for you before u met ure guy. so she comes first
thelorax thelorax 8 years
A couple days late, but I say forgive. That is a TOUGH spot to be in; I can't think of a better way to distance yourself from it but I do hope the boyfriends don't find out about the lying and turn on you.
vmruby vmruby 8 years really wasn't your story to tell but you shouldn't have lied. Your biggest mistake was that you told that BS story to your boyfriend just to cover her sorry behind.You should have refused to get involved as soon as she mentioned it no matter how much she pleaded with you to back her up. It's her problem and your friend had no right whatsoever to even ask you to lie for her. You placed yourself in the middle of it for whatever reason and I only hope it does not come back to bite you in the butt.
skigurl skigurl 8 years
i say not forgive. you didn't just lie quickly, you made up an elaborate story and convinced him of it. she did the deed, she should have paid the price if it came down to that.
LadyLiLa83 LadyLiLa83 8 years
Forgivable definitely! But, like was said, come clean with your guy. It's just always the best thing.
cravinsugar cravinsugar 8 years
You def should have told him the truth. I tell my fiance everything, and then we decided what to do together if it is something we aren't sure of. I can't imagine lying to him. we are so close and open, it could ruin things for us.
LoveSarah LoveSarah 8 years
Forgive. Even though you lied to your boyfriend, you did what you thought was the best thing to do at the moment, and you didn't tell a lie that will hurt him. It isn't your fault that your friend put you in the situation.
rabidmoon rabidmoon 8 years
Forgive, of course. You were put in a very uncomfortable situation through no fault of your own. However your friend acted irresponsibly in asking you to lie for her, especially to your partner. I feel you should come clean to him, but that's just me, I really hate for things to come between my bf and myself.
agrepina agrepina 8 years
forgive..but id come clean if i were you
cubadog cubadog 8 years
I am somewhat torn but think you should be forgiven. Your mistake was making up such an elaborate story as a poster said above all you had to say is you had a disagreement and left you didn't have to say she met up with another GF. I am guessing that is the story she asked you to tell.
Dubn8tr Dubn8tr 8 years
It would be interesting to know what your friend told her bf. Especially if y'all end up not having the same story. Then it sounds like you maybe embellished some more if you had to "convince" him. Anyway, you probably should have just said that you fought w/her and left. Sorry, I just don't believe that lying was the right thing to do. He'll probably forgive you.
Mesayme Mesayme 8 years
I think you need to come clean to your boyfriend too. You shouldn't be put into a position to babysit a grown woman. And if he can't forgive this...he's the one with issues.
austerity austerity 8 years
Forgive. Both of you were looking out for your friends, and acted as loyal friends. However, that has led to conflict between you two, which is the downside :(
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 8 years
All you had to say was that you got in small fight with her and that you stormed out(which is what happened!). Is it really your bf's concern what someone else is doing? No! You told that far fetched story because you wanted to. You got upset and left, what else did you really need to say? Geez!
BabyBearCutie BabyBearCutie 8 years
I think you did the right thing, in the long run its up to your friend to tell her boyfriend the truth. It wasnt right for your friend to put you in a position to where you would have to lie to your boyfriend either.
batgirl251 batgirl251 8 years
Forgive, definitely. You did whatever you could for your friend. I think that she needs to tell her boyfriend, but it's not your boyfriend's business. I'm sure he will understand if you tell him why you lied to him.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
Forgive. You boyfriend was not entitled to know your friend's business. He shouldn't be sticking his nose into it. JMHO.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 8 years
Forgive. But I think you need to come clean.
lizrocks lizrocks 8 years
You did what you thought was best in the heat of the moment. It's neither your nor your boyfriend's business what happens in your friends relationship. Totally forgivable.
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