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Sunday Confessional: I Lied and Told My Ex I Was Pregnant

Dear Sugar,

I made a horrible mistake. I lied to get my ex-boyfriend back and told him I was pregnant with his baby. I desperately wanted him to stay with me, and I thought this would keep us together. I know what I did was stupid and dishonest, and I feel incredibly guilty. To make matters worse, I had to keep lying to cover up my first lie. I told him I had an abortion, and even called off of work for three days to make it seem real.

We are back together now, but I feel awful about my lies. Every time I see him, it's all I think about. I need to get rid of this huge weight on my chest, but I'm worried that if I tell him the truth he won't be able to forgive me, and he'll leave. Do you think I should be forgiven for my lies?


Join The Conversation
badgirl11 badgirl11 6 years
We were all young and stupid at some point and did dumb things. When I was 22 my ex broke up with me and I did this exactly same thing. I know it was immature and stupid thing to do. Im still dealing with this and Im 30. I punished myself for years and i thought i wasnt worth to be anyones girlfriend so I alway avoided being involved with anyone. I would lay off this poor girl. I think she needs to figure out what's more important in life like maybe going to school. I would leave the guy alone until this whole thing blows over. He may never speak to you again. Move on and you'll be just fine. Learn from this mistake. I know I did.
dikke-kus dikke-kus 8 years
I don't understand how you could let things get that out of control. Even taking days off? You need help. I feel sorry for your boyfriend. I was married because my husband wanted me. Not because he was forced into it for a pregnancy. Wow. You must be so proud to know you had to make a desperate lie to him to keep him around. Talk about pathetic.
cbaby28 cbaby28 8 years
not forgive. are you seriously okay with this guy being with you only because he thought you were pregnant? if you werent he would be so gone..and that's fine with you? i think you deserve the guilt you feel...
tlsgirl tlsgirl 9 years
Tell him, and let him dump you. That's a big lie, and your relationship probably won't last anyway. I definitely vote Not Forgive on this one.
Completely unforgivable. You need to tell him the truth, and fast. There's a HUGE chance the reason he got back with you is because he felt bad that you had to experience an abortion alone. He deserves to know the truth, and then given the option to walk away if that's his decision. I agree with the others that say ladies like you give us a bad name.
frimpled frimpled 9 years
I voted not forgive, but I don't think that you should tell him what you did. I think you should just leave him if you can't deal with the guilt, because if you tell him what you did, (guys are like this) he'll probably think all women are crazy liars and he could be scarred. You don't want to mess it up for the next girl down the road he actually does get pregnant!
Greggie Greggie 9 years
And if he does thank you and stick around, I'd be sincerely worried about his own dedication to truth and trust.
facin8me facin8me 9 years
"If he is grateful to have you back in his life he'll thank you for the fib you told that brought you together and move past it. If he doesn't then to hell with him." A fib is defined as a small or trivial lie. Telling your ex-boyfriend that you are pregnant with his baby in order to keep him is not a fib. It's a lie. A big one. And it's not just a big lie- it's a crazy lie, the kind that makes you think "is this person sane? Does this person have any respect for herself, or for her boyfriend?" When you behave like this, it shows you do not care about the other person- you only care about yourself. So, no, he won't "thank you for the fib that brought you together," he'll pack his bags and rightly so- he deserves better than this.
Jack-D Jack-D 9 years
I don't want to be too harsh, but the only reason he is staying with you is because you said you were pregnant, he doesn't want to be with you but because you lied and he feels like he should "do the right thing". He probably doesn't love you, so why stay with someone who doesn't love you?? He deserves better. i would be very angry if I were to find out one day that my "significant other" lied to me to get me to stay.
rosagirl rosagirl 9 years
You seemed to have taken desperate measures to keep your relationship intact. I will say this, most of the people that commented on your situation at one time or another have been full of shit, so shut your ears to the criticism. You did act desperately though, and it's never good to lie about a child. If your relationship is meant to be then the truth never hurts. If he is grateful to have you back in his life he'll thank you for the fib you told that brought you together and move past it. If he doesn't then to hell with him. The fact that you have a conscience and regret what you did and want to be honest is redeeming in itself. We have all acted desperately at one time or another and have all made mistakes we regret. The fact of the matter is at least you didn't hurt anyone and you're willing to make it write, in my opinion you have erred which is human, but have the balls to accept responsibility which is a rare thing.
telewyo telewyo 9 years
Oops...I meant PSYCHO
telewyo telewyo 9 years
That is PHYCHO!! You deserve to be alone until you get some therapy. You can't mess with other people's lives like that! Get help!
miosotis miosotis 9 years
I didn't vote. I think you already know what you did was terribly wrong. But now tell you boyfriend the truth. You won't be happy if you hide such an important thing from him. I don't know if he will forgive you or not. But this is his and only his decision. It just doesn't matter what the whole world think about this, to forgive or not to forgive is up only to him. My best wishes for you and don't give up being happy no matter the mistakes you made.
Greggie Greggie 9 years
"A) You lied about the most atroscious thing; never ever tell a man you are pregnant just to keep him. B) You need to tell him ASAP, and don't be surprised if he leaves you. Also when he leaves you, but all ties pronto. C) You need to seek counseling of some sort to sift through your problems." This. I don't put this under "we all make mistakes." This is not a mistake. This is a deliberate lie and manipulation, and it's disgusting. Get help.
kendalheart kendalheart 9 years
Don't forgive...I mean, this is just awful.
pinupsweetheart pinupsweetheart 9 years
I agree...things like this give women a bad name. You created a lie that involved another human - the possibility of an unborn baby. Then you made it worse by telling him you had an abortion. Eventually he will find out. It always comes out. You need to confess your lie to him....why would you want to stay with a man you is staying with you based on a lie. To me, that is not a healthy relationship.
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