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Sunday Confessional: I Made Fun of My Boyfriend in Front of His Family

I'm 30 years old and was dating this amazing guy. Things were going really well, and I had a feeling that I had found my soul mate, until last weekend. His parents came to visit us and it was the first time we had met. I was really excited, but also super nervous since I wanted everything to be perfect (they could be my future in-laws!).

We went out for dinner and the wine was flowing. I rarely drink, but I'm not against it, so I decided to have a glass. The alcohol hit me pretty quick and totally loosened me up. I started blabbing away about anything and everything, and told this hilarious story about how I went to watch my boyfriend play ice hockey one night. I said something like "he spent the entire game chasing after the puck and trying not to fall." I was laughing and said "Yeah, he's pretty bad." His parents were laughing too and I felt happy that I was getting along so well with them.

After we said goodbye that night, my boyfriend confronted me and said, "Why did you have to make me look like such a dumb-a** in front of my parents? You've never said anything about me sucking at hockey before. I've been telling them I'm pretty good and now I look stupid!"

I apologized and blamed it on my nervousness and the wine, but he's still really upset with me. He hasn't played hockey since and although we're still together, he seems kind of distant with me. Should I be forgiven for making fun of him in front of his parents, or is it really a big deal?


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krys786 krys786 9 years
you barely did anything wrong. you already apologized and explained yourself. now it's up to him to just get over it. this is NOT a big deal. there are worse things that can happen to relationships than the girl making fun of the guy's hockey skills in front of his fam. assure him it won't happen again, and hopefully he'll forgive you. good luck, and don't feel guilty anymore!
chicaparati17 chicaparati17 9 years
FORGIVABLE!!! He should know that you would never do anything to hurt were just nervous. Whats the real deal here?
cubadog cubadog 9 years
Liquid courage is not an excuse while we have all been there it does not mean that it makes it OK. Everyone's relationship is different with their parents while some of us are fine with teasing others clearly are not. This was a time to put her best foot forward instead she looks like an ass for all she knows they were laughing to be polite. There may be more to his distant behavior like his parents might have said something to him about the dinner. She needs to ask instead of asking our forgiveness she needs to ask for his.
kgtg1 kgtg1 9 years
Forgive! All these ppl that are saying, "what if they were out with HER parents?": so what? If I was out with my boyfriend and my parents and he made fun of me for something like that, I would be FINE. I mean, my parents know more about me than anyone. My parents have both wiped my bottom, for god's sake! Who would be embarrassed about something like that in front of their parents? I agree with most people, he needs to lighten up! My boyfriend and I poke fun at each other all the time, but we know when to be supportive when it counts, and I don't think recreational ice hockey is that major in the grand scheme of things.
tinyspark tinyspark 9 years
Forgive! Who hasn't let the liquid courage go straight to their mouth at one time or another?
AZ-Mary-Mary AZ-Mary-Mary 9 years
I agree Bookish, teasing is one thing but it sounds like she let him be the butt of a pretty mean joke to make herself better. IMO that is what screams of insecurity. And she admitted that she took it too far, which is different than some friendly teasing. I think he should be able to forgive you, but you should really think about the underlying issues here and realise that it was more than just a little joke, you kinda betrayed him. I would have been pissed too, but that's me. Also, I would have been pissed as the family members who listened to that. Maybe they laughed at the time, but I bet they think about it later, and it may not play the same way. My brother once dated a girl like that and I was never so happy as when he kicked her fat butt to the curb.
Bookish Bookish 9 years
And I agree with bfly1133- not everyone has a buddy-buddy relationship with their parents, and those "perfectionist" relationships can be harsh. My parents were rather like that- and I will agree, if my husband told a joke about how terrible I was at something I enjoyed, to my parents, I would be really hurt. It's not funny, it's belittling.
Bookish Bookish 9 years
I'll be in the minority here, because I can definitely see how he would be embarrassed and belittled by your teasing. Think about if the tables had been turned- if you were out with your parents, and he let the wine go to his head and said to your mom and dad "You should see the clothes she wears- it's so funny! She thinks she looks all trendy and sophisticated but she really looks terrible!"- it would probably really hurt your feelings. Wine or not, it was a mean thing to say, and he appears to be legitimately hurt. I think he should forgive you, but I think you need to learn how to handle your alcohol, and how not to make jokes at the expense of people you care about.
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 9 years
If he is a baby about something like that, i hate to see him when his kid spits up on him in public, he needs to loosen up.
herjoiedevivre herjoiedevivre 9 years
unless- as some people have said- the laughing and teasing at him for this went on for like....longer than it should have. in which case, he might've genuinely been hurt as opposed to taking things too seriously. and you might've been so excited that you were getting along with his parents that you were willing to take it as far as you could. if that's the case, explain that to him and apologize, and watch how far it goes next time.
herjoiedevivre herjoiedevivre 9 years
wow. a sign of regular self-esteem is when you're able to laugh at yourself and take jokes, as well as admit when you do kinda suck. it's not whether he's good, it's whether he enjoys playing it. he's making a mountain out of something ridiculously small.
cubadog cubadog 9 years
I do think you need to be frogiven but I do not think your boyfriend needs to lighten up. Nobody wants to be made fun of or teased in front of anybody especially their parents. You were a dumbass to quote your boyfriend and to blame it on nervousness and alcohol just makes the whole thing worse. Take responsiblity and apologize for what you said and if you know you can't handle your alcohol then don't drink. I know I would be horrfied if that ever happened to me and my family would be pretty unimpressed.
grrlyrebel grrlyrebel 9 years
I agree with bfly1133, and it sounds as if there's a bigger issue anyways. Often when people get "bent out of shape" over a seemingly small issue, it's because of a bigger more internal issue. I also think it could be a parental thing (his parents expect perfection), especially since he told his parents he was good at the sport, so unless he has a skewed sense of reality and he really does think he's good at hockey, he may be just want to make his parents happy.
bfly1133 bfly1133 9 years
I definitely forgive you, but I think the people saying he needs to suck it up are missing something here. It's one thing to say something in a teasing way. It's another to make more than one comment and then have a laugh fest at someone's expense. I got the impression that the poster took things too far and her boyfriend was blindsided by what she has to say. Also, the poster thinks he is still upset but she doesn't know that for a fact. He just seems distant now. And no longer plays hockey. If the poster really thinks this is still an issue she needs to have a talk to see what the deal is. My guess is there is way more to the story than we know...or even the poster knows. This guy may have grown up in a family where perfection was expected and he is having a hard time getting over that.
onesong onesong 9 years
jeez louise, he needs to lighten up. sounds like everyone was having a good time and he's a poor sport...if it were YOUR parents, i think that he might be okay in being a little irritated, but it's his parents. they know his level of athleticism. tell him to get over it!
7kimba7 7kimba7 9 years
I spoke MAYBE* 5 words.. sheesh.
7kimba7 7kimba7 9 years
You already apologized... and kudos to you because I spoke many 5 words the first time I met my boyfriend's parents. Outside of answering the questions his mom grilled me with, anyway. I understand that his feelings were hurt, but you apologized and he needs to move on.
Le-Luxe Le-Luxe 9 years
Tell your BF to lighten up. I am sure his parents have already forgotten about it/dont care anyway!
Martini-Rossi Martini-Rossi 9 years
He needs to remove that big stick outta his arse! urgh, I have a low tolerance for ppl who dont have a sense of humor.
LaLaLaurie06 LaLaLaurie06 9 years
oh no! now his parents know he's bad at hockey! the world is going to end! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! tell him to lighten up. what a baby.
kendalheart kendalheart 9 years
Forgive, he is being a baby.
omaha98 omaha98 9 years
I'd be a little leary about being in a relationship with a guy that appears to be very insecure to me!
bastille_75 bastille_75 9 years
FORGIVE!!!!!! And I agree - he needs to lighten up!!! What's more important to him: (1) getting slightly embarrassed in from of his parents or (2) having his girlfriend and parents get along? Anyhow? How insecure is this guy? He needs to brag to his parents??? Seriously?? Good Luck!!!
desertbanshee desertbanshee 9 years
If this is the worst thing you ever do, then he is in good hands.
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 9 years
The thing is, it's not even an issue of forgiveness, it's not as if she told him he was a failure at his profession or kicked his puppy. I'd be wary of anyone having a slow-burn over something as insignificant as a sport. Hell, it could be indicative of him being unable to deal with small setbacks.
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