Skip Nav
Relationships
Spice Up Your Relationship With This 30-Day Challenge
Spotify
1 of the Hottest New Voices in Country Music, Jackie Lee, Shares His Favorite Breakup Songs
Summer
You Might Break Up After a Romantic Vacation — Which Is Why You Should Take One

Sunday Confessional: I Slept With My Ex's Brother!

Sunday Confessional: I Slept With My Ex's Brother!

I have a concern that's been really bothering me. I was going out with this guy for 3 years. He broke up with me about a month ago, and I was pretty heartbroken (obviously), and I still care for him deeply.

A few nights ago, I saw his older brother out at a party. We ended up talking the entire night and getting along really well. He walked me out to my car, and he ended up telling me that he had a huge crush on me, but he could never tell me before because I was dating his brother. Now that his bro broke up with me, he felt he didn't have to hide his feelings anymore.

It was a surprise, but a pleasant one for sure since I was feeling lonely and I kind of liked him too. We ended up kissing, and long story short, he spent the night (and yes, we slept together). In the morning, we promised not to tell anyone, to keep it our little secret.

Well, to make matters more complex, last night my ex called me, going on and on about how he made a huge mistake, how he's still in love with me, and how he feels awful for breaking up with me. He wants to get back together.

What should I do? I still love him and want to get back together, but I fear I will be haunted by this little secret forever. I feel like I should be honest about what happened. Do you think he could ever forgive me for sleeping with his brother?

Source

Join The Conversation
calli-gurl calli-gurl 8 years
if you loved him you would never had done it. ask yourself this, if ure ex slept with your sister while claiming that he was in love with u, would u have forgiven him? OR your sister? if you really wanna be with this dude, be honest with him. and i really dont think that he would forgive u. this was something really slutty. if it was some other random guy, he might have understood. but his brother? i dont think so
herjoiedevivre herjoiedevivre 9 years
I voted not forgive, but only because you should walk away from this. And I personally don't think you're as awful in this situation as the brother is- I mean, he did that to FAMILY. walk away. fresh start.
leelah leelah 9 years
Honestly, if you want to be with him, just get back together and never tell him, especially if you don't foresee anything with his brother ever really coming to fruition. Ignorance is bliss, in this case.
7kimba7 7kimba7 9 years
I forgive you since you were broken up. It's not like you cheated on your boyfriend with his brother. But I really doubt he would forgive you... and if you chose not to tell him, I also really doubt that this little secret would never come out. Ditch them both.
jennaboa jennaboa 9 years
I don't think he will forgive you if you don't tell him and he finds out from his brother. It's a bad situation all around, really, but the simple truth is you were single and allowed to be with who you want. It depends on the sort of man your ex is whether he can forgive you for sleeping with his brother.
maplesyrup maplesyrup 9 years
I know that you guys were broken up when you slept with his brother. But, that's still his brother and if it had been any other guy, it's forgivable. But it's HIS BROTHER! We all make mistakes but there are some temptations in life that we just don't tread on and this is one of them. Plus, feeling lonely after a break up doesn't make it okay to sleep with and ex's brother. It's like, your boyfriend sleeping with your mom, sister, or even your brother. How would u feel if the tables were turned? Maybe you'd think it's ok because it didn't happen to you but you wouldn't think it's ok if it really happened. Plus, after you sleep with his brother, how can he trust you around his older brother ever again, especially when the brother revealed how much he had a thing for you. This will only cause alot of hate and anger between those two brothers later on. I think you should do what's right and tell him what you did. If he want's to forgive you, that's great, but I wouldn't have much faith in you after you do something like that. I choose definitely not to forgive you and if i were him, I'd move on from you. And, that's life!
koolkat021 koolkat021 9 years
i wud forgive him but be honest with him, tell him wat happened, and if he cant forget you and his borther in bed then he knows where he can go, and if he can then your in there, and i wud sit them both down and tell his brother that you like him but you dont think it will work anyway due to that you were with his brother i know wat its like, i dun it, and i hated telling ma ex wat happened gd luck
Alice-Green Alice-Green 9 years
Dumping.. braking up... Nah, I don't see a difference. If your together for a couple of years there's a trust. If you brake up with someone instead of talking about what you feel and come to a mutual decision, then that trust is no more. As for the relationship between the brothers, that's really their mess and their relationship, not hers. She's doomed if she does the brother but I wouldn't blame her. Really, who am I to blame, I've done my fair share of mistakes, that's called "living" :)
lickety-split lickety-split 9 years
he didn't dump her, he just broke up with her. there is a difference, isn't there? and anyway wasn't the relationship she and the 3 year guy had worth enough to respect it by not bedding another family member? this is SO awful. honestly i'm shocked that so many people think it's okay because she was upset by the break-up. just because you're feeling wronged you don't get a free pass to act poorly yourself.
SexyNeverLeft78 SexyNeverLeft78 9 years
I agree with Marci, it will never work out. You will always wonder if it will come out. You broke up with your ex and although sleeping with his brother within a month of your breakup was a dumb thing to do, u aren't in the wrong for it. It wasn't the best judgement, but I would leave them both alone. After a 3 yr relationship with your ex, u dealt with the family. Nope, leave that mess alone. I fyou still loved your ex, you would have NEVER slept with his brother. lmao @ demeter, I just read your post hahaha
demeter demeter 9 years
Oh, and NOT forgive.
demeter demeter 9 years
You should have NEVER slept with his brother! Of all people! You should tell your ex, just to be honest because if he finds out on his own you're screwed. I think you're pretty much screwed anyway though so do what you want. That's just not cool.
WhatTheFrockBlog WhatTheFrockBlog 9 years
I think you should forgive yourself. I mean, the guy dumped you, you don't owe him anything. But if you do decide to get back together with him, you should be honest with him about sleeping with his brother. But I think getting back together is a bad idea.
Alice-Green Alice-Green 9 years
DOH! You did the brother, you are doooooomed. Do the brother a few more times, be happy about it, get back in game and ditch them both. The guy DUMPED you! After 3 years! He ain't worth it.
yoan190 yoan190 9 years
Be honest and just hope that he is okay with that.
yrschatool yrschatool 9 years
This is insane. NOT FORGIVE. Of all the guys in the world you had to get into the bed of your ex boyfriend of 3 years? Why would you want to be thought of as a pass around or sloppy seconds?
clarapl clarapl 9 years
As Nica said, the best option here is "neither." I wouldn't trust a guy who'd sleep with his brother's long-term girlfriend after you guys have only been broken up for 1 month-- OR the guy who broke your heart. That's just returning to the scene of the crime. This guy dumped you after three years together, and if he really wanted you back he should at LEAST be showing up on your doorstop with a huge bouquet of flowers! Not just calling you up and expecting you to come running back to him. If you do, he'll never respect you. Would you, if the situation were reversed?
lilprincess lilprincess 9 years
I voted Not Forgive, but only because I don't think your ex will forgive you. I forgive you because this kind of stuff happens. I was in a similar situation- I slept with my ex's little fraternity brother. So not an actual brother, but they were good friends. And let me just tell you, my ex found out and went crazy and I ended up getting a restraining order against him. Now, obviously, that is an extreme situation, but the bottom line is, even if your ex does love you, I really don't think he'll ever forgive you. That is just too complicated of a situation. I agree with the others, move on with your life away from these brothers and this mess. You'll be happy later on that you did. (Buttt I am now living with the little frat brother that I slept with haha- so not all bad comes from these sitations!) :)
pink_magnetism pink_magnetism 9 years
I forgive you, but I don't know if your ex will.
wiciltd wiciltd 9 years
I disagree with everyone who says you have to keep this to yourself.. No, getting back with the brother probably won't work.. But you have to be honest about what happened or else it'll be a little thunder cloud following you around ready to strike.. Karma can be a bitch sometimes But this is a really messy situation I wish you luck!
Schaianne Schaianne 9 years
Forgive. If you were broken up ... you weren't cheating and it's none of his business.
princess_eab princess_eab 9 years
Forgive, but just expect to not really have a relationship with either of them. Even if you tell your ex, and he forgives you and you guys get back together, he may not be able to REALLY get it out of his head. And if you guys get serious, how awkward will it be at Christmas and everything? Lots of things to consider here.... is it worth the trouble?
Marci Marci 9 years
This is never, ever going to work; with either brother. It'll all come out someday, so don't even try to fool yourself that it can be kept a secret. One of my brothers went out with the ex of another brother thinking it wouldn't matter since they had broken up, but it did matter. It caused a huge rift in our family and those two didn't speak for almost 10 years. In the end, blood is thicker than water, and that girl is long gone.
Jennifer777 Jennifer777 9 years
Seriously, CHICA!!! There is no winning here. Forgive yourself but realize that he will not forgive you (and if he does forgive you, is he going to forgive his brother?) Do you really want to be the person who ruins his relationship with his brother....not to mention the rest of his family... Cause if you think him and his brother fighting isn't gonna affect the rest of the family, you are kidding yourself. If you want to get back together with him then do so and if he asks if you slept with someone tell him you did but that you are not naming names because, frankly, it is really none of his business... Then KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!!!!!! You will not be doing anyone any favors by telling him. Remember that things will never be the same... (BTW- I showed this to my husband and he said there is no way in HELL that he would ever forgive...)
brookrene brookrene 9 years
I totally forgive you. He broke up with you! You are free to move on with your life...maybe the brother wasn't such a great choice, but i've made mistakes too. I suggest starting fresh...but if you two truly love each other and want to work it out then i dont suggest telling him.
Do Soulmates Exist?
What Makes a Relationship Last?
Benefits of Being Bilingual
30-Day Relationship Challenge
From Our Partners
Latest Love
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds