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Sunday Confessional — I Slept With Someone Else

Last November I started dating this guy who I really liked. We saw each other for about a month, but then he got laid off from his job and left early to head home for the holidays. We never had a talk about our relationship status so I just assumed we would pick up where we left off when he returned the first week in January — but he didn't come back, he decided to travel instead. Although he texted me regularly, he never told me when he would be back.

After two months had passed, I went out with some girlfriends, had a little too much to drink, and had a one night stand with a guy I met in a bar. While it was fun at the time, I was not proud of my crazy behavior the next morning.

Then two weeks ago, out of the blue, I got a call from my old flame — he was back. He took me out to dinner and asked me if I had been with anyone while he was gone, and since I can't lie to people I care about, I told him the truth. He flipped out and said that if I really wanted to be with him, I would have waited. Did I really do something wrong? He never told me when he was coming back or if we even had something! Was I supposed to wait for him forever? He's completely pulled away from me, but shouldn't he be able to forgive me?

Submit your own Sunday Confessionals here and see if you are forgiven!


Join The Conversation
AngelBaby73 AngelBaby73 8 years
drop this loser and move on.if he really cared about you he would have mentioned when he was coming back.what,are you supposed to be someone who is just waiting around for her "lover" who may not ever come back? he didn't even say anything about a future with you! so get rid of this a** and find a actual man.
Fallingfromtrees Fallingfromtrees 8 years
What an a**! I've been in a similar situation a long time ago. All that guy was looking for is a "girl to come home to". You oughta cut your losses now and find someone that won't act like a small child who got his ice cream stolen.
jackie86 jackie86 8 years
wow! what a jerk! you had every right to do what you wanted to do especially since he didn't act like a" boyfriend" should!
gbychan gbychan 8 years
Sounds like you realize that hooking up with the other guy was a mistake...but I think that's a totally separate issue from your main concern. How can a guy expect you to stay faithful when he never solidified your relationship status, was gone for 2 months doing WHO KNOWS WHAT, and suddenly returns demanding that you do things his way. It's a 2-way commitment. Find someone else who'll do his share.
cptnruthless cptnruthless 8 years
why did he ask if he didnt want to know the truth? If he really wanted to be with you, he would have asked you to be his girlfriend after a month (IMO)!
vmruby vmruby 8 years
He disappears for a few months with some text messaging here and there and he thinks you should have waited for him. ummm okay.....:oy: Seriously what the hell was he thinking? You did nothing wrong IMHO and I would not waste another precious minute feeling guilty about it either. What the heck were you supposed to do sit and wait for his highness to remember you existed and throw you a morsel of respect.Tell him he's a selfish a$$hole and show him the door.What a jerkoff.....
Janine22 Janine22 8 years
Ok I just have to say that I don't get the texting. If someone likes you and wants to remain connected with you, what is so difficult about actually phoning? Considering the fact that you guys dated for only a month before he left, I would say that he has no reason to be upset. I was wondering, did you ever ask him how he defined your relationship? Did he ever ask you how you felt about him? I think that the chances are good that he probably slept with someone else while he was travelling. Men usually do not like going for that long without sex. I agree with dm8bri that he was probably projecting. Did you ever ask him if he had been with anyone else? (btw, if you are going to do this, make sure you do it in person to see his expression). The guy obviously thought he could just do whatever he wanted while you would be home pining for him. He sounds like he has a big ego and is really insecure (which are often the same thing). Consider it a sign as to what kind of person he is. Good luck.
Miss-Senorita Miss-Senorita 8 years
You are not wrong he never defined you're relationship. You have a right to move on. He's being ridiclous.
cdelaney cdelaney 8 years
i agree with all the above posts. this guy is a total douche. where you supposed to wait for him indefinitely for him to return? what if he was to never return? cut your losses and ditch his sorry a**. you are better off without this selfish, pompous boy. yes, boy.
elizabethsosewn elizabethsosewn 8 years
i can't say anything that hasn't already been said. he's a jerk for expecting something when he gave you no indication of when he was coming back, or if he was coming back for you at all.
margokhal margokhal 8 years
Er...he gave NO indication if/when he would be coming back, or even if he wanted to be with you. He's just playing sick, twisted mind games. While I'm personally not a fan of ONS, it's not like you were actually in a relationship with this guy, so HE really has no right to be upset with YOU.
skigurl skigurl 8 years
he is showing his true colors early on in your relationship and they are not pretty. be thankful he took off and move on!
tlsgirl tlsgirl 8 years
What an *ss. You didn't do anything wrong. It's not like you're some fiction character from the 18th century who's supposed to wait around forever pining for her lost lover. You didn't have "the talk," he never said when he was coming back = no fault on your part. Plus, he kind of sounds like he might be super jealous when you're actually together, so be careful.
Lily100 Lily100 8 years
He can forgive you for this for sure. The fact he had an issue with it in the first place is the worry...
chatondeneige chatondeneige 8 years
I'm not clear on who we're being asked to forgive. As for forgiving the writer, I don't think there's anything to forgive! As for forgiving the guy she wrote about, forget him! I don't see the point in holding a grudge, but seriously, he sounds like a waste of your time!
bchicgrl bchicgrl 8 years
you have nothing to apologize for, he is a jackass to think that with no contact for 2 months you would be staying home and waiting. I'm sure while he was traveling he hooked up with a random chick as well. move on and find someone that's worth your time.
notinthemood notinthemood 8 years
He's ridiculous. You don't need that.
GScott86 GScott86 8 years
W/e, this is silly, just move on, let him spend his time feeling stupid and like crap. Be happy and don't speak to him again. *btw tinyhands, that's the cutest avatar ever *kinda creepy, but really cute! ^_^*
tinyhands tinyhands 8 years
Waitasec, HE is supposed to forgive HER? Are we assuming that SHE has forgiven HIM for running away? Come on! Grow a pair and hold him accountable.
Bodhar Bodhar 8 years
You didn't do anything technically wrong, and he had unrealistic expectations if he thinks you should have waited patiently for a guy to return when he's been gone longer than the relationship actually LASTED. But, I don't think he'll forgive you. Given the way he has treated you (leaving for two months, not discussing when he returns) and the unrealistic expectations he had, I can't say that's a bad thing.
lindac lindac 8 years
There's nothing to forgive. And good for you for telling him the truth! Some women would have lied to keep a man hanging around - you didn't.
oohsexypenguin oohsexypenguin 8 years
Don't let him make you feel guilty for living your life. He's the one who left things hanging, not you. It wouldn't have taken much effort to say to you "Hey, I'm gonna travel for a while, but I really like you and I would like to see where this goes when I get back." Since he didn't say anything about being exclusive, you did nothing that needs to be forgiven. Ditch the loser and find yourself a real man.
leeluvfashion leeluvfashion 8 years
There is nothing to forgive since you did not do nothing wrong. He made no mention of the relationship having a future or if he was coming back; he just left. You waited long enough especially with that circumstance. Also, I feel that if he reacts this way towards a very forgivable choice, I assume he is the easily angered, jealous type. I doubt he was sex-free those months so who is he to be angry at you. You're better off without him.
bennito bennito 8 years
common he wasn't there and he should say I want this to work and admit to the whole thing otherwise he dont know what he is missing or going to miss sinc u care for him.
Colleeninator Colleeninator 8 years
You didn't do anything wrong, and he's being stupid.
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