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Sunday Confessional — I'm Ashamed of How We Met

Sunday Confessional — I'm Ashamed of How We Met

My boyfriend and I have been together for just under three months and everything has been absolutely amazing. We have a wonderful connection, he's sweet, generous, and loving, and the passion is undeniable. Things have been going so well that we recently decided to meet each other's families.

While I'm really excited to take this next step in our relationship, I've also been experiencing a lot of anxiety about it — my family has no idea that we met through an online dating website; and neither do my friends. I know my older brothers and sister will never let me hear the end of it and I fear that this news will spread like wildfire. I know that how we met is just a formality, but I can't help but feel incredibly embarrassed that I had to resort to such measures.

My boyfriend is perfectly comfortable with the truth of how we met, and I know that my insecurity about it can't make him feel very good, but I just can't help it — I'm ashamed to admit that I was an online dater! Would it be terrible if I asked my boyfriend to lie to my family for me?

Submit your own Sunday Confessionals here and see if you are forgiven!


gibbylet gibbylet 8 years
I think thats stupid. My husband and I met on Once youre out of your partying years it's not like theres a lot of places to meet. It's nothing to be ashamed of ya know...
sprinkibrio sprinkibrio 8 years
My boyfriend and I first met at party, barely said hi, than truely met online. He was embarrased about it, I was not since my friends and family already knew I was online. Both of us stretched the truth about the amount of conversation at the party, but now at 10 months he no longer wants to lie. Eventually you won't mind the truth because the truth is what got you your love!
GratefulOne GratefulOne 8 years
First of all: Forgive! And your guy probably will too! Ok, that out of the way, I think you might be vastly underestimating how you met. I mean, here *we* are, somehow connected, because of the internet, right? It's a different world now; how are people supposed to meet anyways now with iphones and blackberrys and "you shouldn't date someone from work" and "clubbing isn't really my thing" and you're constantly on the go? The only time we have now is on the internet, and I can't wait for some good statistics to be published, because I bet a good percentage of people under 50 have met someone really special online. So do what you need to do, but seriously, this is the information age, why be ashamed of that?
bisou002 bisou002 8 years
Get over it. There are an incredible number of people that have done the online dating thing (myself included). And odds are, if someone hasn't tried it, they've considered it or are curious about it or their sister/brother/cousin/roommate met his/her/its husband/wife/partner on it. Get over it. Seriously.
SeaAre86 SeaAre86 8 years
I met my current boyfriend online, and we told our families about how we met. At first I was a little wary of telling people how we met.. but now it simply doesn't matter anymore. There is no rule about how to meet people. I agree with machiattolove -- It is the relationship that's important!!
Ineedclarity Ineedclarity 8 years
I'm in agreement with everyone here. I'm glad this question was posted because I just joined an online dating site and was wondering the same thing if I did meet someone online and it became serious.
itsme3683 itsme3683 8 years
I don't think it's anything to be embarrassed about, but if you don't feel comfortable bringing it up, then just tell people you met at the actual first place that you met (like coffee shop/restaurant/neighborhood that you first met up). Then when people become more comfortable with you both as a couple or when you begin to open up about it, you can tell.
macchiatolove macchiatolove 8 years
I really don't think there is anything to be be embarrassed about, but I agree with fallen, just say you met at a starbucks or wherever your first date was, because you did - it's not lying, and if you really don't feel comfortable with telling people you met online, then you don't have to - it's your business! that being said, I really don't see it as a failing or an embarrassment to meet people online.. Sometimes it just happens that way, and why blow off a good thing just because of the way you met? it's the relationship that's important, not the whys and wherefores of how you got together!
plus_2_kid plus_2_kid 8 years
Forgive -- I'm in the same boat. When I first starting dating my now-husband, I told all my friends and family how me met b/c I had never online dated and thought it was funny. BUT once we started getting serious I began to feel self-conscious about it. None of my husband's friends or family knows the real story. When you are married people ALWAYS ask how you met - I have no bias towards OTHER people meeting online but for some lingering reason I don't want to admit I met MY husband that way. Yes it's an age thing -- I'm 35 so I didn't start online dating until I was 29 and quite frankly, desperate for a new way to meet people. Call me silly - we tell people we met at the beach. Whenever my best friend hears me use this line she giggles and whispers to me "Beach.Com..." SO. The only issue is whether or not your BF is uncomfortable lying to your parents. I don't judge your insecurity at all, BUT if it makes him really uncomfortable, or think that you are embarrassed of HIM 9and not just how you met) then you need to talk it out with HIM. Not us.
Allytta Allytta 8 years
how old are you? i think this is a old people thing ;) i met pretty much all of my boyfriends online. since i was 12. i'm the online generation child. and all my friends met their other halfs like that too. there's nothing creepy in meeting like that, it's online the exact website that can be creepy ;) or desperate. anyway, if you're desperate (not meaning the author) then it's fine too! meeting someone you can actually love is really difficult, so whatever, by all means necessary, right?
aimeeb aimeeb 8 years
I'm with Fallen.
bluebellknoll bluebellknoll 8 years
I met my hubby online 3 years ago and we use the first place where we met face-to-face when people ask. It's much easier than having to listen to other people's opinions of online dating. :)
MissJules5x MissJules5x 8 years
its your story and no one needs an explanation if you don't want to give it. if the dreaded question comes up why don't you just tell them about the first time you met in person. thats really what counts anyway.
kristyy kristyy 8 years
I voted forgive, but there is nothing to be embarrassed about. That's the norm nowadays and it doesn't mean you're a loser or anything. In fact, I know many people who met online (me included!) and their partners are amazing people (good-looking, smart, successful, etc.). They just didn't like the bar/club scene and the people at work were too old for them. So those typical places were not successful places to meet people. Your siblings need to grow up if they find that something to make fun of you about. Just tell them that they aren't up to speed on technology and need to get out of their caves! I bet they're a bunch of traditional old farts.
bchicgrl bchicgrl 8 years
I was in the same boat with my fiance, we started talking online and then met a couple of weeks later. He told his mom that we met at a concert ha-ha even though I think she knows since his brother and sis in law asked me directly how we met and I told them the truth not knowing he had fibbed the details. It's funny to think about now but I agree with everyone else about online dating not a big deal anymore. It's better than meeting guys in bars and a lot safer.
ThePerfectScore ThePerfectScore 8 years
Forgive.... the last guy I dated, I met online. I just know my family would KILLL ME, especially my parents, if they knew I met a guy offline. My mom is super paranoid about things like that. But all my friends know then truth about our relationship and how we met. What I do is just tell people I meet him at a restaurant, which is true considering that's the first time I met him in person, even tho we talked online and on the phone a month prior.
gossipqueen gossipqueen 8 years
For the people that are urging her to tell the 'truth' have to understand that every family is different and every person is different...good for the ones that are not ashamed or have issues...but in some cases IT IS a matter of embarrassment and you NEVER hear the end of it....NEVER. It's a hard thing to 'confess' when you have old fashioned parents or are from a different culture. Like I said before. Just tell them you met at the place of your first encounter...your BF should support you if the real meeting will get you in trouble.
TinaDenali TinaDenali 8 years
I also met my husband on, and I've never once thought it was a bad thing. I LOVE telling people where we met, because it's different than most people. I'm not ashamed of it at all.
skigurl skigurl 8 years
i just thought of something else - belle1031 and her boyfriend, for example, told her parents a different story than they told her boyfriend's parents... and the poster, here, is trying to tell her family a different story than they will tell her boyfriend's parents...but what if they get married....? how awkward willt he speeches be when you tell the history of the relationship etc. when the stories are all a lie and are conflicting? just tell the truth!
telewyo telewyo 8 years
I'm in the exact same situation...I didn't tell anyone I was doing the online dating thing. I met a great guy and we've been together for 6 months now. He told his friends and got a lot of crap about it so he understood why I didn't. I never actually lied to anyone, I just said it was sort of a set-up, blind date thing (I just left out that eharmony did the set-up). Now that it's great and I really think he's the perfect one for me and all my friends and family met him and like him, I wouldn't mind telling people how we the beginning I just didn't want the crap and if it didn't work out then I didn't want to hear "well that's why you shouldn't meet people online". I figure it will come out at some point (especially because his friends know) but who cares if we're happy and I doubt anyone would be mad that I didn't tell them, all my friends will understand why I didn't want to.
Belle1031 Belle1031 8 years
My boyfriend and I met online 2 years ago. He's my first everything so you can imagine how I felt telling my mother how I met him. I totally understand you, I told my mother we met at a bank meeting (we both work for a bank) and she was ok with that. When he took me to meet his parents I he asked me if I could lie and say we met through a mutual friend, which I did. Both of our parents are old fashion and we have mothers who would completely freak out if they learned we met online. Its worked out since we are still together. The way I see it you can never guess the ending of a story from the beginning. :p
mamasitamalita mamasitamalita 8 years
get over it and be happy you found someone who is such a great fit
skigurl skigurl 8 years
don't make him lie for you like fallen said, just say where you had your first date and try to skirt around it
khadeekiinsz khadeekiinsz 8 years
Does everyone meet people behind a computer screen nowadays? Idk...Its nothing wrong with it, If he's a good guy he's a good guy. I can understand why you would be embarassed though. I think online love stories are kinda weird. Its like people depend on technology for EVERYTHING now, even love. Forgiven.
rayjoy rayjoy 8 years
I met my boyfriend online and all my friends knew it but it was a little embarrassing with the families. With his family, we told them we met at a concert (which is where we first actually met). With my family, who knows I have a bit of an online life, I told them I met him through a platonic site that I met some other female friends through and it just turned into more. We've been together 2.5 years and it really depends on the person when I answer how we met. I either tell them online or a concert. I mean they are both true--depending on your definition of "meet" as either first words or first sight.
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