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Sunday Confessional: I'm Tired Of Sneaking Around.

Sunday Confessional: I'm Tired Of Sneaking Around.

Dear Sugar

I am trying as hard as humanly possible to convince my married friend to leave his wife for me. I am desperately in love with him and as badly as I feel about him having to get a divorce, they have only been married for two years.

He is perfect and he's my ideal man. I would do anything to be with him. I just finally met his wife and he's unhappy with her. I can see why; she's really lame. They barely sleep together anymore and they fight a lot.

We met at an event for young up and coming real estate brokers in our town and there was an instant chemistry. At first we just became friends and would meet for a drink once in a while after work, and then it evolved into meeting for coffee during the day as well as drinks in the evening. Soon our talks went from being about work to being about friends, love and even sex.

About eight months ago we became intimate and now we can't seem to stay away from each other. I am tired of sneaking around and I'd like this man to eventually become my husband. Is that so wrong?

Join The Conversation
Lele777 Lele777 9 years
gangstaLOVER707 gangstaLOVER707 10 years
sweetie... he's already taken and that's something you knew from the start... it's not a way to start off a good relationship.... better think twice if he really IS unhappy with her and if he is then why is he still with her... you don't know what really goes on behind their closed doors...
The-wife The-wife 10 years
Of course the wife and him are fighting all the time and of course they arent having sex anymore. Do you really believe that? My husband did the same thing to me and after it was all said and done I heard all the lies and everything he told her. You didnt really think that he was going to tell you that he really loves his wife and that you are just a fling did you? Would you have been willing to cheat with him then? Hopefully not. He has filled your head with lies. You think you really know him but you dont! Your whole relationship is built on lies. If you had met his wife without knowing it was his wife you probabley would have liked her. I fhe really loved you he would be with you! A mistress is no better then a thief that goes into someones house in the middle of the night and robs them blind!! You will never understand until it happens to you and when it does I really have no sympathy for you. FIND SOMEONE WHO ISNT ALREADY TAKEN!!! It is women like you that make me ill.
SweetFlower SweetFlower 10 years
"If he'll cheat for you, he'll cheat on you" But maybe you need a taste of your own medicine. What's going on in his marriage is none of your damn business. You are unbelievably selfish. How do you even look at yourself in the mirror? I was gonna add that you need to take the blinders off and see this jerk for what he is, but I think perhaps you two really are perfect for eachother. This guy's wife really has my sympathy.
Brittany14706805 Brittany14706805 10 years
i 100% do not forgive you becuase i had something similar happen in my relationship though we werent married, but together for over 3 years. Im still with him though. Some girl like him a lot and we were going through a rough time arguing and fighting, and this girl knew it so she was doing everything she could to talk to him and make him feel good, try to get him to think i was a horrible bitch for the way i was treating him blah blah. And he ended up cheating on me with her and she thought he was going to leave me for her. He was doing the same thing you said this guy is doing. Since he was so unhappy he was trying to find every fault he could with me to justify what he was doing. He even convinced hisself from the help of a few friends that i had already cheated on him. This stupid bitcy though knew we were having a rough time and used it to her advantage. We got thru it though and even after we got bck together she still tried to get in touch with him and see him. She even came over to our apartment one day while we were both home!! Our roomate knew the situation and liked me so i guess he thought if he tried to fuck up our relationship hed get a chance with me. But yea she came right up to the door and i never even knew!! If this girl wasnt 3 yrs younger than me and under 18 at the time id punch the shit out of her. I hate ppl who try to ruin relationships. There are plenty of other men out there go find you a damn guy whose not taken.
Thehills101 Thehills101 10 years
How can u sit there and call urself a woman...I have been married for nearly 5 years and hve gone through the pain of having someone else try to split up my family...stop being selfish for a minute and put urself in her devastated would you be??? Someone once said "If they'll do it with you, they'll do it to you" And I hate to break it to u...they usually always stay with th person they married... SO NOT FORGIVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥јεήή♥
AngelNess AngelNess 10 years
You know what it is that makes everyone upset at the situation - no one wants to be the wife. No one wants to be the one that's married and maybe working through some issues with her husband/family, then have someone else try to break the family up. What if, you and him get married, and 2 years down the line, he's in love with someone else? Same situation, but now you're the wife. Can you sympathize? If he loves you truly, he would figure out a way to break up with his wife and be with you. The way it's going now, it's very convenient for him to have you both. Remember, actions speak louder than words. The fact that he's still with her and messing around with you means that you're not enough of a reason to leave her. You (and her) deserve a guy who is really commited to just you.
The-wife The-wife 10 years
As you can tell from my log in name I am the wife.First let me start by saying that did he tell you how unhappy they were? That they dont have sex? and all they do is fight? It is all a lie to just keep you around. I can guarantee you that he is probabley very loving at home.What gives you the right to assume everything he says is the truth? I have been dealing w/ a person like you in my marriage for 5 years. We just seperated and he moved in w/her. Do you think that has eneded anything? NO, I just became the other woman.The phone calls and text messages, stopping over. You will never have him the way you want to.Because until he is ALL yours, he will always be hers. People like you totally disgust me. I have 4 children and tried to hold on to the vows that I found so important. Because you love him now he should just leave everyone and hurt everyone for you!Sweetie I hate to break it to you but you really arent that special to him. You are an escape from reality.You allow yourself to be used.Coming from the wife I truly hope you get hurt the way you have hurt his wife. Just one last thing,If he truly loves you , why isnt he with you?
Dariana Dariana 10 years
Will people never learn? What comes around goes around hun. If he is cheating on his current wife to be with you, then please wake up and realize he is going to do the same thing to you. Every woman always thinks they will be the one to change a cheater and its just not true.
getstinko getstinko 10 years
I'd forgive you. Him I don't forgive. He made the committment to God and his wife to be faithful and be married, you didn't. Should you know better, Yes. Will he cheat on you if you stay with him, Most likely. 2 years into a marriage is too soon for him to be cheating. Guy sounds like a major loser and I feel sorry for his wife. You could always do them both a major favor and let her know what a cheating sh**bucket he is. That way he would learn his lesson, and you would save her from further pain. The road to redemption is not easy, right now you are doing something very wrong.
NNPW NNPW 10 years
this sounds exactly like brangenlina/aniston
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
kittycat, your pix is too cute!
JennaV JennaV 10 years
Are you kidding me? If he leaves his wife for you, I hope he leaves you for someone else. And he will.
kittycat kittycat 10 years
u are an awful person. who gives u the right to break up a marriage? marriages are to be permanent thing. people don't plan to get married for a year or two. just because u don't like his wife doesn't give u rights to break up his marriage. he knows why he married her in the first place. u should have some respect for other people. have morals for yourself. turn yourself away from this whole mess. don't be a husband stealer. why do something to someone else if u wouldn't do the same thing for yourself? i forgive u as we are taught to forgive everything and not judge. but u are doing an awful sickening thing. he's no good. u are no good. u two belong 2gether.
peppermintpoot peppermintpoot 10 years
Sorry, but you're not forgiven. There are plenty of single men out there to choose from. If he leaves his wife on his terms, that is one thing. But I don't think its right for you to be talking him into leaving her.... what goes around comes around, lil' miss.
tinyspark tinyspark 10 years
Cheaters cheat. Frequently. It's a good way to keep your options open. Knock it off. The "I'll leave her for you eventually" card is bullshit. I feel sorry for you if you think you can change him.
pollyanna pollyanna 10 years
I must say there are a lot of smart women here. Excellent points, so excellent that I have nothing more to add!!!! smiles, Pollyanna
beachjewel beachjewel 10 years
NOT FORGIVE. EVER. You are in the wrong just as much as he is. Get some self respect and some morals and go find a man with no obligations. This was a no brainer and that you had to ask says all there is to say about your judgment.
luv_my_junk luv_my_junk 10 years
I have seen a similar scenario in my of my friends from Grade school-Her dad was married to her mom, he cheated and married woman #2. Her dad cheated on #2 with #3, married #3 and guess what-found a #4 and married her. Should I continue? He also had children with ALL of these women, maybe thinking this would trap them (?) idk... All of these women thought they would be 'the one' that changed him...boy they were wrong. They all deserved better, and so do you! Wouldn't you want to grow old with someone you can trust that while you're out with the girls, he's not out with one of his own? You have no real ties...Run and run fast...please for your sanity, self esteem and career.
vmruby vmruby 10 years
i'm sorry to say that no i would not forgive .... anyway why on earth would you want to marry a guy who cheats on his wife???? he would definately be a huge turnoff for me.if he is so unhappy then he should do the right thing, divorce her, and give her an opportunity to find someone who will love her and be faithful to one should be in the middle of someone else's marriage and/or need to get some self-respect and dump him as fast as you can before it blows up in your me nothing good ever comes out of situations like these.besides don't you think that you deserve much better than what he can offer you? i do.
themom themom 10 years
Karen mom of 2 that is just wrong, you are both to blame no wonder he is having no sex with his wife, i say let them work it out, before you become the cause of their divorce
lula29 lula29 10 years
I forgive you but you need to be realistic. Both Vsugar and Valeri said it best IMO. I believe you're right his marriage probably sucks. I don't by the crap logic that a happy marriage might also lead to infidelity. Not true. His marriage has issues, however, this man is a coward who instead of confronting problems directly runs from them. Do you really want a relationship with someone who's too scared to handle issues directly? Really? I don't believe in Karma, because there are tons of people who get away with doing crap to others without having to pay for it,however, I do believe that people follow the same life patterns which end up with the same result. This guy follows the pattern of someone too afraid of taking on the issues in his life and thus uses other people as an escape. Even if he does love you honey, it doesn't make up for the fact that when things get to hard for him he cuts and runs. The same way he's doing to his wife right now. Separate from him ASAP and start looking at why you signed up to be his saviour? What life pattern are you following that has made you end up as the only one who gets and understands him? Run for your life girl. I forgive you though.
cubadog cubadog 10 years
As long as your content with an open marriage that is exactly how this is going to end up so you might want to have that conversation now. The only reason you think his wife is lame is because of what he has told you about her, you only just met the woman. She probably knows all about you believe it or not. You need to either be happy with the relationship you have with him now because this is the way it is always going to be or go find someone else you have great chemistry with.
t0xxic t0xxic 10 years
U are both to blame u are both wrong and u are just not very smart at all young lady for continueing and believing this bull. Not to forgive. I knew that after the first line. Tsk tsk tsk -------------------- -------------------- Watch us play secret santa, and every tuesday fab find for our wishlist!
Holly_G Holly_G 10 years
Kharma is a bitch, so don't expect him to really be the man of your dreams. And whoever says that the blame is only on the married man, well, you are wrong! The blame is on both of them, she could have restrained herself and shown some decency. Sorry girl but I think you and your married man deserve the worst to happen to you too. Cheaters don't deserve any mercy.
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