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Sunday Confessional: The Lonely Taste Of Revenge

Dear Sugar

About a month ago, I found out that my best friend had been saying terrible things about me behind my back and I am so hurt by what she's said. When I confronted her about it, I expected an apology but to my disappointment and shock, she got completely defensive and lashed out at me.

I couldn't believe it. Not only did I feel so betrayed and sad, but it made be extremely angry. Needless to say, our friendship ended after this fight.

For my revenge, I decided to throw a huge pool party/BBQ at my house on the day of her birthday. I knew that this year it fell on a Saturday so I decided to send out invitations and really do it up.

Because I sent out the invitations so far in advance, all of our mutual friends had said that they'd come to my party instead of going out with her on her birthday. I hear she spent the night alone, crying.

Join The Conversation
lindssaurussss lindssaurussss 8 years
i dont know forgive or not. but it was pretty rotten. i would feel so upset if a ex-friend went out of their way to make me feel like that. and on a birthday? come on people remember that stuff. you could of just left it alone and let her unravel on her own. i agree with amorfati you involved other people in your drama. why couldnt you of just t-peed her house?
AmorFati AmorFati 9 years
Not forgive. You went way beyond anything she did. You deliberately set out to hurt and humiliate her in a very scheming and calculated way. You involved other people who may not even have known what was going on. The amount of time and thought you put into tearing her down is chilling. She'd already lost you, so it was tit for tat; why mount a campaign against her to deprive her of anyone else? This is bad karma. The best thing you could do is to confess to everyone you invited to your party. Then they'd be free to make it up to her and decide if they still want to associate with you. No forgiveness until you put back some of what you took away.
steph_b_247 steph_b_247 10 years
Wow. What an immature, bitchy thing to do.
la_clique la_clique 10 years
Lol! Sorry, she is a toxic psycho hose beast, you are a fabulous toXXic princess!
t0xxic t0xxic 10 years
Forgive. Im with Whip they choose to come. Sure the planning was a little childish but she deserved it. And not all toxic people are bad la clique lol
M155-J4CK13 M155-J4CK13 10 years
I agree with you entirely, Whiplash. She didn't force anyone to attend. They chose to.
paigesweetkisses paigesweetkisses 10 years
eh, what you did was slightly high school-ish... Forgive but don't forget. What you did in return puts you on her level.. you need to do some Apologizing too
honey31 honey31 10 years
You are right I did not read that right beacbarbie lol.
honeysugar28 honeysugar28 10 years
Hey she didn't apologize what's to forgive! Only if someone admits their mistake then its worth forgiving if they lash out at you then forget it.
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
i did something very similar in college. shit happens, she'll live and you'll probably be friends again in the future. in the overall scheme of things this is very, very small. who cares if the party resolved something, it's not as if she reached out to you. you were pissed and got your point across. i'm betting she thinks twice before crossing you again.
3Sweeties 3Sweeties 10 years
While I agree that this was immature and resolves nothing, the mutual friends made their own choice. It is like when any couple splits, and some friends go one way, some go the other. They could have called and said "Oh, i forgot it is (whoever's) birthday, I really want to celebrate with her." The fact that they didn't makes me think that the friend might have a rep for gossiping about everyone, not just her former bff.
dotsdots dotsdots 10 years
Sometimes friendships end, for one reason or another. The party on her birthday shouldn't have made any difference. If her friends wanted to go see her they would have. If in fact no one went to see her and no one gave her a party then that DOES say something about this girl. But strangely, I think there is more to this story than just this side ...
sexyeyes sexyeyes 10 years
nicachica nicachica 10 years
her friend screwed up but it sounds quite childish to hold a party like that. an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind! (who was it that said this??)
Tiinnaaaa Tiinnaaaa 10 years
forgive.. you didnt force ppl to come to ur party..
la_clique la_clique 10 years
Wow Whip, something very similar happened to me. I guess that is why we feel the same about this post. I stood back and let her self destruct, she was a toxic person.
WhatTheFrockBlog WhatTheFrockBlog 10 years
Maybe I'm so forgiving because a very similar thing happened with me and my former best friend. She started treating me like crap and when I called her on it (in a very civil, non-confrontational manner, mind you), instead of an apology, she ripped me a new one. It really, really hurt at the time. A year later, it still stings. I'm the type of person who'd WANT to get revenge (which is why I think what you did is hilarious) but I'd never act on it. It's okay, though because after she cut me out of her life she systematically went about alienating all of our mutual friends as well. Now none of my friends can stand her, but they're all still my friends. So living well can be the best revenge.
jennifer76 jennifer76 10 years
I voted forgive. But, I think what you did was ridiculously childish. As Pad says, buy a bridge and get OVER it!
cubadog cubadog 10 years
I am so with you Froggee285. How old are you 2? Get a life and if what she said was so horrible then there is no reason to keep her in your life. Grow the hell up!
Froggee285 Froggee285 10 years
yes, la_cliqe, karma IS a bitch. i wonder what this girl will get in return.
Froggee285 Froggee285 10 years
Congratulations, you have surpassed her in immaturity. I don't know the whole story, or what she said about you, but it probably wasn't horrendus because you still had dozens of people over your house for a party. I chose not to forgive you because you showed intent to make someone else's life miserable. What is wrong with you? I work at a daycare and I deal with little children who purposly hurt their friends over revenge, 'because she did this first'. At four years old its forgivable because a person's moral center isn't built up yet. At your age, darling, it should be. What you did was very wrong, and no justification (she started it!) will get you in the right. Shame on you. I wonder what your friends think about this...if they knew your reasoning for the party. If they did, and if they are good people, they will look at you with disgust. Maybe they'll forgive you. If they laugh about it and think its okay, you watch out, because they'll do what you did to her, to you, and not have any qualms about it.
la_clique la_clique 10 years
Forgive! It may have been catty to throw a party on her birthday, but she deserved a little peice of humble pie. As our fellow popsters' avatar says....karma's a bitch!
BeachBarbie BeachBarbie 10 years
Honey31, She did talk to her about it and the girl didn't even apologize. I don't know if you saw that part. :) I definitely vote forgive. I hate when "supposed friends" talk behind my back. Their just jealous, insecure and mean-spirited. With this said, I still don't understand why this happens, with girlfriends (guys don't seem to do this to one another). Why can't people be happy for you; instead of trying to tear you down to your other friends and acquaintances. Whip, is right they have free-will. And, more than likely they have been subjected to this kind of treatment by that girl too.
WhatTheFrockBlog WhatTheFrockBlog 10 years
I definitely forgive. You may have thrown a party on her birthday but you didn't force your mutual friends to abandon her. They have free will, and if they'd wanted to hang out with her so badly they should have. They could've left your party early to see her, or vice versa.
honey31 honey31 10 years
I would forgive but not forget.You need to have a talk with her about what she said about you.She is hurt over what you did Id want to do the same thiong as you did but Id feel like crap after the fact.People can be so rude and gossipers believe I know.If she was a true friend than why did she say nasty things about you?
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