Skip Nav
What Is It Like to Be in an Open Marriage? 1 Woman Shares Her Story
Stop Freaking Out If You're 30 and Single! You Shouldn't Marry Till You're Ready Anyway
6 Things to Stop Doing Now If You Want Happy, Healthy Relationships

Sunday Confessional: My Insecurities Got the Best of Me

I recently started a great job at an office firm about 3 weeks ago. I'm still in "training mode" so I am still quite self conscious about any mistakes that I have made. One day, while working at the front desk, a blonde buxom girl came walking in with her resume, and asked me flat out if they were hiring for my position. Not knowing the answer to that question, I asked one of my coworkers, and they proceeded to tell her that they would keep her resume on file, "just in case there were any openings." So I went into my boss' office (he's on vacation) and put the resume on his desk.

That night, I couldn't stop thinking about the resume. I kept on thinking
that my boss would look at her resume and think that she is better
suited for the job than I am. I had heard that the position I have has a
high turnover rate at this firm, but I had also heard from coworkers that
my boss planned on keeping me on board for a long time. I don't know if they were lying to me or not, but I was still uneasy about the resume.

So the next morning, I slipped into my boss's office and took the resume off his desk. I folded it up, put it in my purse and took it home. Once I got home, I threw it in the trash. I know what I did was wrong, but I got so caught up in my own jealousy that I became intimidated by the woman I don't even know. Am I forgiven?


Join The Conversation
calli-gurl calli-gurl 8 years
i understand the jealousy thingy too, but it doesnt mean that its right. you really had no right to do that. it wasnt yours and u caused that woman a loss. if ure boss hires her, then that means that shes better suited than you are. u wouldnt have to feel insecure if u felt that u were good at what u do. hm?
bransugar79 bransugar79 9 years
So wrong but I completely understand why you did it. No one likes to feel inadequate and I have to say I have had experiences like this. I have to say I wouldn't tell anyone at work about this because it could probably get you fired but I forgie you
Debbie-Dee Debbie-Dee 9 years
that's f'kd up! that's exactly why i prefer to speak with a manager upfront when i'm asking about a job opening...this would be worst case scenario and it actually wow....not forgiven!......
htiduj htiduj 9 years
look, you need to forgive yourself so that you can move on with your life and not be all jumpy at your job. its done, you cannot go back in time, and so you shouldnt let yourself harp on it. but, what you did was wrong. you have no right to take something out of your boss's office, and if your job is to give him messages etc. then you have to give him all messages - including resumes. for all you know, this girl was just a walk in - going to various businesses giving them resumes in the hopes that one will call her. try working on your self esteem, you got the job, you were doing well at it, there was no reason for you to think that you would be fired. if you cant jump over the esteem hurdle yourself, maybe you should consider talking with a therapist. therapy can be very helpful in combating self esteem.
Trajidy Trajidy 9 years
Totally forgiveable. You know how many resumes I trashed on behalf of co-workers whose jobs were in jeopardy? Omg. Happens everyday....From receptionist to COO. LOL....don't even think about it.
Stella10 Stella10 9 years
Totally Forgiveable. Absolute, don't stress.
gladjenta gladjenta 9 years
forgive...but don't tell ANYONE! and don't do it again. obviously.
nitronat nitronat 9 years
Not forgive. It will probably hurt you in the end. Something just might come out and this could really really hurt you. You made an impulsive and rash decision based solely on jealousy. No rationality was involved. You didn't think of the consequences of your actions. How it could hurt yourself or your employer. I can't feel for your position either because you *were* hired for a *reason*. You are expected to be honest 100% with your employer. I can bet you you would have gained bonus points if you put the resume on his desk. He would have totally respected that and thought that you had good character and integrity. You need to own up to this to yourself and figure out exactly why you did that and try to make sure you *never ever* do that again.
sherry88 sherry88 9 years
I agree with apsara [+] and Asia84 [+]. what you did was wrong, they could have even been testing you to see your reaction, oy i donno what to tell you even if you yourself were a dumb blond thats still totally unforgivable, although you should ask your boss for the forgiveness other then people who will just say its female nature sorry girls but its not im a chick and no way would i ever do that that. you had to think out a plan on not getting caught and so on its not forgiveable to much thought and effert into destroying her
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
With that attitude, you'll get replaced anyways. You have to be tough, and know that you are competent and a good fit for the job. You should know that if they were to fire you and hire blondie, that either a. she was more qualified, therefore you shouldn't be jealous. it's reality or b. they hired her because she's hot. and you don't want to work for a company that does that.
InfernalMari InfernalMari 9 years
To quote Ugly Betty, you tapped your inner 'Mode Girl'. I say 'forgive', because I appreciate that while what you did was underhanded, ruthless, sneaky and rotten, so's business. She was incredibly rude by asking up front for whether your position's up for grabs, she should have gone right to Human Resources...As long as you can keep your mouth shut, you'll be fine. Work as hard as you can to make yourself invaluable.
AmorFati AmorFati 9 years
The person who needs to forgive you is your boss. You usurped his or her prerogative. And not that far into your job. Bad idea. The woman was probably asking for it by approaching her job hunt in such an unprofessional manner, though I agree with those who pointed out that maybe more than one person might be able to have "your job"--she might have meant "a job like yours." Don't sweat it too much over this woman; nobody should ever hand-deliver a resume or ask staff if there are any jobs available. But worry a little about what the boss is going to think if he finds out you did this. The woman could call and ask if he has seen the resume, and she might well finger you. On the other hand, you may have inadvertently done yourself a favor: anything like this should go through HR, and you might have been a bit unpopular for loading your boss down with paperwork that he or she shouldn't have to get in such an, uh, direct manner. You might be able to come clean after a fashion by telling your boss about the incident and saying that you removed the resume when you realized the woman had not gone through the right channels and you might have made a mistake leaving it on his desk. Then if she calls back you will be covered, even if you get reprimanded for taking it away. If you're pushed on why, just say that the woman's rudeness turned you off.
lexichloe lexichloe 9 years
Um, I have a big problem w/ the way this question was phrased. Most likely, it went something like this: "Hi, I'm Jane, I wanted to apply for the receptionist position, could you please pass my resume along?" I'm sure this "buxom blonde" LOLLLLLLLLLLLL...didn't say, "Hi, I'm here for your job, give my resume to my future boss." I'm sorry, I'm disgusted by this entire post, I think it's a joke.
jenniferellen jenniferellen 9 years
I was tempted to say unforgiven, just because many people are hard up for jobs. At the same time, you want to keep your job and she's probably applying to many other places as well and will more than likely get a job somewhere else. I guess now I would want to say forgiven, but I think undecided is best...haha, not that it really matters. It's better to play fair though. I mean...wouldn't you have felt better if you'd been able to keep the job, knowing her resume looked so good. It would have probably given you a higher sense of achievement.
Hootie Hootie 9 years
Yipe, seems you can't be trusted! Sorry but that was so wrong.
apsara1 apsara1 9 years
Look, it's not like you committed genocide, but I said "not forgive", because this was not an impulse - you thought about it, went to a lot of effort and did a sneaky underhanded thing. Mostly I wouldn't want someone who would do this on my team because I couldn't trust them. Find a way to work through your insecurities and try to remember that your personal honor is the one thing nobody but you can besmirch.
machete machete 9 years
Stop Acting Like A wet Sock. This Is A tough world. Yes, There Are morals We should Consider. What was done was done.
thexxnewxromance thexxnewxromance 9 years
HaHa. That's scandalous. You shouldn't worry about someone taking your position. You got the job for a reason, and your boss must have liked you. Once you get used to how things in the office work you'll be a pro and gain more confidence. You will be fine, but I would stop stealing things off co workers desks.
ccalm ccalm 9 years
forgiven totally just dont do it again
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
For the people who keep claiming the girl who submitted the resume had it coming to her, why do you think that? Companies often have MORE THAN ONE receptionist, the person at the desk could have been a TEMP, the person at the desk could have QUIT and been on her way out and they were hiring to fill the spot. If there was an ad for a receptionist, and she went to apply for the job, what the hell was she supposed to do. Try to bypass the current person working at the desk and run into a private office???? The girl who wanted to submit her resume did absolutely nothing wrong, and wanting to place the blame on her is entirely absurd. This post is so old I can't believe I'm even commenting on it but this recent rush of people blaming this person just annoyed me.
k8-rckstr k8-rckstr 9 years
I think it's forgiveable...that girl was in the wrong by asking for YOUR she pretty much kicked her own butt on this one
Allie227 Allie227 9 years
I totally agree with Mantis!!! It's dog eat dog out there. If this girl was dumb enough to be rude to the one handling her resume, she deserved it!
Mantis Mantis 9 years
Oh come on, the B**** got it coming!!! She got a nerve asking for your position! I know, what you did was not cool, but it was totally understandable!!! She could have just ask if they were hiring at the moment without making so clear that she was there for your job. TOTALLY FORGIVEN!
peter-martin peter-martin 9 years
d_ford d_ford 9 years
I do understand your feelings since I was in a similar situation. When I was hired at my current job it was only temporary as they were still interviewing other candidates for the position. Every day for a week I got to see other girls coming in a being interviewed for the same job I was doing. It really ticked me off and it scared the crap out of me. I had just moved to Vancouver, with no other job prospects, and I really REALLY wanted the job. I kept thinking "what if she's better than me" which it seems you were doing by describing her phyiscal attributes. Sounds like you were a little insecure that a pretty girl would take the job. Luckily they felt that since they had already started training me and that they liked me, they would keep me. Every day I thought about telling these women that the position had been filled, but I didn't because I couldn't jepordise someone else's chances. However, what you did was totally unacceptable and shouldn't be forgiven. You took the resume, asked coworkers what you should do, left it on your boss' desk, then took it back and threw it out. You could definitely be fired if your boss finds out you took something from his/her desk and binned it. It amounts to stealing, which in any company or work place, is a BIG no-no. You are in definite danger of being caught since you asked a co-worker(s) what you should do with it. What if that co-worker mentions to your boss that there is a resume on his desk and it's not there? It will come back to you. I would be crossing my fingers and toes that you don't get caught. And I would suggest that you toe the line from now on. I don't want this to sound rude or condescending but it was a really, really wrong thing that you did.
How Lemon Water Affects Sex Drive
Bald Bride's Wedding Photos (Video)
Male Birth Control | Video
#IBelieveYou Supports Sexual Assault Victims (Video)
From Our Partners
Latest Love
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds