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Sunday Confessional: She's in a Happy, Sexless Relationship

Sunday Confessional: She's in a Happy, Sexless Relationship

We're scouring the juicy (but anonymous!) secrets posted on Truu Confessions and letting you weigh in. This week a confessor admits that she doesn't mind not having sex with her man.

"My boyfriend and I hardly have sex. Yet we've dated for over two years and want to get married. I usually don't admit this to people because they never see it like we do . . . but I think we have a stronger emotional connection than any of them."

Do you think this confession is a big deal?

Join The Conversation
danakscully64 danakscully64 8 years
Nicole, to say something is "guaranteed" is really naive. Some guys don't have that type of sex drive and not every guy would cheat.
nicole121482 nicole121482 8 years
This girl is in an idot! Do you know how many married men talk to me and complain about how they love their wives but wind up cheating numerous times because there is no sex!! Men are driven by sex more than some women are. Just cause he says he's happy doesn't mean he is or will be forever. You better spice up the sex life or you WILL be cheated on, GUARANTEED!
superjules superjules 8 years
Go ahead and get married. You'll stop having sex anyway. that's a joke, it's just a tiny married woman in a sexless marriage making a little joke! : )
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
My boyfriend doesn't have a very high sex drive, not really. If I want to have sex then I initiate and we have sex but it's not something that occurs to him. He spent quite a long time single and he was cheated on before so I think it's knocked his confidence quite a lot. We have discussed it and he says it is a confidence issue. He initiates sometimes but it'll be far less often than when I do. Some people are just highly sexed (me) and a lot of guys just aren't! I have been in quite a few sexless relationships and I've just come to accept that I'm the charged one and the guys usually aren't! I tend to date computer geeks... I wonder if that has something to do with it?
danakscully64 danakscully64 8 years
My boyfriend and I have sex anywhere between twice a week to once every 3 months. Our obstacle is my lack of sex drive due to years of being on the pill combined with us both living with our parents. The lack of privacy is a real turn off. He also joined the military 5 months ago, so he's been gone for a total of 4 months since Feb 1st (gone right now for the next 2 months). I'm hoping things will change when we move in together. Hoping. My boyfriend is definitely not gay, not addicted to porn (although he does watch it), and is not seeing anyone else. *sigh* Besides that, we have a wonderful relationship. I voted for "Whatever."
totygoliguez totygoliguez 8 years
Sex is very important; you don't have to do it every day, but the healthy thing is to do it at least 2 times a week. sex is 50% of the relationship. A guy that does not want to have sex is very rare and fishy. and J Rabbit I agree with you he may be gay.
danizzle danizzle 8 years
jrabbit... i agree with you! honestly, men think about sex every 7 seconds (or some crazy stat like that) and if he isnt, this might be a red flag!!!!!!
J-Rabbit J-Rabbit 8 years
I'm surprised no one else has said this already: He might be gay. I hope the poster and other women in similar situations are not being naive because closeted gay men dating/marrying straight women is more common than you'd think.
chatondeneige chatondeneige 8 years
dootsie - What on earth do you mean by "sex drives just like women?" Not all women have the same sex drive!
mamasitamalita mamasitamalita 8 years
dootsie -- "A lot of men -gasp- have sex drives just like women." implying women have low or no sex drives? that is a nice pigeon-holing of both genders
Smacks83 Smacks83 8 years
If that's what works for both of them, then so be it (different things work for different people and I'm glad she found someone who is on the same page as her) BUT I don't like that fact that she states: "but I think we have a stronger emotional connection than any of them" Like just because other people have sex regularly (or a lot, whatever) it means they don't have as strong a bond as this girl and her bf does. That statement really doesn't sit well with me.
lemamike lemamike 8 years
If both people are genuinely happy then awesome. My only concern is are you 100% your partner feels the same way? I am not suggesting at all that the significant other is cheating. Sometimes you may think you are sure it works but do you feel that way becuase it works for you and you assume it works for your partner? I guess my opinion seems harsh but from my experiences the in and out healthiest relationships have active sex lives. Feel free to disagree. I have friends who are "in love" with their boyfriends but don't want to have sex with them. It's so easy to pass off the "my sex drive isn't high" but is that what it really is? Sometimes people have fallen out of love and into being "best friends" and not even know it - or want to admit it. I could be totally wrong but it's interesting food for thought.
kia kia 8 years
To each their own. It wouldn't work for me, but I'm not in that particular relationship.
imLissy imLissy 8 years
my fiance and I only have sex maybe once or twice a month because that's what works for both of us. As long as both people feel the same way, does it really matter how often a couple has sex?
margokhal margokhal 8 years
I don't understand what the big deal is. She said they "hardly ever" have sex, not that they didn't have any at all. Some people choose to base their relationships more on other things besides sex, and that's fine. If you or your partner are not particularly sexual people, and are still happy and have a mutual understanding, so what? It's doesn't necessarily mean that something sinister is going on [all those horror stories in the above comments are pretty crazy, though].
dootsie dootsie 8 years
And another thing, let's check our "He's probably cheating" assumptions, shall we? A lot of men actually, genuinely aren't natural sex fiends. A lot of men -gasp- have sex drives just like women.
dootsie dootsie 8 years
I think not mentioning how often they have sex is the key here. If "not that often" means once a week, and it's super-intense and great for both of them, then whatever. If "not that often" means "on anniversaries and Valentie's Day", then there's a real problem. They're best friends--not lovers.
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