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Sunday Confessional: She's Pregnant With a Stranger's Baby

Sunday Confessional: She's Pregnant With a Stranger's Baby

We're mixing things up this week and taking an anonymous confession from our new Confession Booth group for you all to weigh in on! This confessor finds herself in a serious predicament.

"I just found out I'm four weeks along and don't even know this guy. I'm keeping the baby but I'm 29 and he's only 22. I'm so scared and not quite sure what the right thing to do is."

What would you do?

Make your anonymous confessions in our new Confession Booth group.

Image Source: Getty
Join The Conversation
dikke-kus dikke-kus 7 years
ali321, its funny what you wrote. I had a planned pregnancy at 35 and I wouldn't recommend it. That's why if your 29 and pregnant you should have it if you can. Besides at 29 I'm guessing she had a job and support. Not like she's 18 or something. For those feminists out there you should know there's a 200 to 1 chance of down syndrome after 30. Diabetes, high blood pressure, miscarriages and a multitude of things after 30. So if you can have a baby early on, planned or not think about all of that too. My mothers motto with my sister and I was unplanned but just as much wanted.
dikke-kus dikke-kus 7 years
35, I'm glad you have things figured out. At 29 I was pretty sure you were working and had enough support to have a baby. That's why I was sort of questioning the abortion hints from other posts. Not that I'm against it, but those decisions are usually made by a teenager, not a 29 year old. Anyway good luck and glad to hear the venting. Just FYI I had a baby at 35 and I wouldn't recommend it. For those feminists out there listen up. After 30 the risks of down syndrome and mental retardation are 300 to 1. After 35 your chances of becoming pregnant are 20%. Your chances increase for miscarriages, diabetes and high blood pressure plus other nasty complications. To have a baby at 30 is good timing. A baby can be unplanned but much wanted.
biarose biarose 7 years
To Anonymous (no.45) Wow, you are such an inspiration. Not many people would have the strength to keep their child after rape, especially at age 13. I have so much respect for you.
ali321 ali321 7 years
I agree having your father in your life is important, but that last comment was pretty rude.I know a bunch of people who didn't know their real dads. They still had other father figures in their lives. And even though I'm sure it caused some issues(what doesn't) they aren't any more of a nutcase than I am.
biarose biarose 7 years
Yeah I agree with no.11 in regards to no. 9's comment. What about those people whose mothers decided not to have an abortion and they now love their life and are very glad to be alive? And what about the girl who survived an abortion and is now very thankful to have the life that she does? Just because circumstances aren't perfect, doesn't mean that persons life is going to be terrible.
biarose biarose 7 years
I applaud you so much for keeping the baby and giving him/her a chance at life.
xlove33 xlove33 7 years
A friend of mine found herself pregnant after a one night stand (not even a 2 month relationship). That was about 4 years ago and she is doing great and has an incredible, beautiful 3 1/2 year old daughter and she's going to school to be a nurse. This baby was probably the best thing that ever happened to her even though the father is not at all involved (his choice). She thought she could never get pregnant and was partying her life away, no she is focused and responsible. You sound like you are already focus and responsible so i don't think you will have any trouble. If you have good friends and family around, your child will be just fine wethere the father is in or out of his or her life. Good luck! stay strong!
Gdeeaz Gdeeaz 7 years
she posted her post in the confession booth group. I don't think she was really looking for advice she just wanted to get it out. alot of the post in that group are not looking for advice just kinda venting.
mix-tape mix-tape 7 years
Also thinking the same thing as Choco-cat, what was the question then? Seems like you have already made a decision and have a plan, which is great, but why send in the blurb? Also if that was a direct quote "don't even know this guy" and "not quite sure what the right thing to do is" can give the impression that he is a stranger and you are asking what your options are, thus the comments from everyone here. Either Tres messed up or you aren't being clear, can't really blame us for our responses. Congrats on the baby!
Choco-cat Choco-cat 7 years
so 35, i'm curious. did you want something when you wrote? advice? or were you just freaking and venting. which i would totally understand, if that's the case - just curious.
ali321 ali321 7 years
I agree with 37. Don't take it personal. Especially since your post was edited. People might have reacted differently had they heard the whole story. I really hate that the posts are changed!
sham28 sham28 7 years
35, Good for you. This has got to be pretty scary for you but you can accomplish a lot of wonderful things with hard work, including being a great single mother. Save as much money as possible, make an appointment with an ob-gyn, and remember that life is crazy sometimes but you have to enjoy the journey. Not sure why anyone is judging how well you know someone you slept with because it's pointless.
Ac2366 Ac2366 7 years
He wasn't too young to sleep with and he wasn't too young to get you pregnant. Tell him.
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 7 years
"stranger" not too strange to not sleep with apparantly.
ali321 ali321 7 years
dikke kus some women do have planned pregnancies at 35 and some are not ready at 29 to have children. If you're not ready than you're not ready. I don't mean to go all feminist, but your comment just sort of annoyed me. Maybe you didn't mean it that way. I just know that I'm not 29 for a few more years, but so far in my life I don't think I'll be financially stable or married by 29 to the point of being ready for a child. Maybe, but probably not. That being said even at my age now I wouldn't want to have an abortion. It would bother me too much. That's why I do everything I can to prevent children right now. Having an abortion or giving up a child for adoption is a huge thing. That's up to the OP entirely. I do believe being a single mother is a major thing to take on. It can be done, but it's going to be hard. I do agree with telling the dad. I don't see him stepping up and proposing. That'd be sort of crazy, but maybe he will want to be an equal part. Just make sure you get a straight answer and make sure he's serious. It's much easier for him to back out then it is for you. Even if he wants to be in his child's life, he may not be willing to put in what you do. But he helped create the child and he has a right to know and be in it's life. I'd just make sure you had things set in stone so it's clear you know? Well Good luck.
Captious Captious 7 years
I'm also adopted. Yeah there's some issues w/ it but whatever everyone has issues. I have more issues w/ moving as often as we did when I was a kid than I do w/ being adopted. I am happy to be alive and I am so thankful that my biological mother decided to have me. People talk about the gift of life- as far as I'm concerned being adopted instead of aborted I got one. This isn't me being rabidly pro-life or something. This is just how I feel.
dikke-kus dikke-kus 7 years
29. That's no spring chicken. That's a grown woman. If she had an abortion, when's a planned pregnancy going to happen? At 35? If it were me, I would be telling this boyfriend he's going to be a father, and let him he's got some decisions to make. In the meantime be informed. Find out everything including his financial responsibilities and legal aspects not to mention paternity tests if he completely flakes out. Anyway there's a lot on the plate including financial and emotional issues all at once. Sort them all out one at a time. There are worse things that could happen, like a lump in your breast or a brain tumor. A baby isn't a disease. It's a gift f you want it to be and a curve ball in a road, but no the end of the world or anything.
doogirl doogirl 7 years
I was 27 when I had my first daughter. I was married for 6 years, my husband and I love each other, and he left for a job for 2 1/2 years. So during that time I had an at-home husband for 2 days a week. And I didn't have to work. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. He was able to transfer home, we had another daughter, and I can not begin to tell you how much easier it is to have two parents around. You're young enough to have a family if you choose to end the pregnancy, and if you choose to have the baby and give it up for adoption, you can choose an open adoption so that you can be a part of your baby's life in some way. If you keep it, just know that it's going to be difficult, and make sure you go for child support! You're old enough to make this decision, I have faith in you honey. Good luck!
MissSushi MissSushi 7 years
I don't think she's asking her options on keeping or not keeping, she's asking whether to tell him or not because he's 22 and they aren't in a relationship or really know each other. I think you have a responsibility to tell him he has a child. Every person is different and he may WANT to be in the childs life, and he may not be. If you choose to tell him just keep in mind that it most probably will hurt if he turns his back and wants nothing to do with it. He has that option, as crappy as I feel about not taking responsibility for your actions... Seeing as how neither of you took precautions, since you didn't comment about a failed method, you chose to keep the baby and you need to provide for it the best you can, and that starts with finding out if he wants to be in his or her life. 22 is NOT so young you need to write it off. There are plenty of very happy young parents out there, male and female. I find the fucking up life comments by keeping the baby some of the most ignorant and ridiculous comments. You know NOTHING about her financial situation or her really. You know she made a mistake...which every single person has done at least once in their life. If you feel that she should abort the baby because your life didn't go very well becuase of your parent, you really need to sit back and think about the fact that YOU have your own life now and you are the one responsible for your happiness and the way you feel about yourself. There are so many single parents out there and to insinuate that every one of them has a fucked up life really shows how narrow your knowledge is on the matter.
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