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Tech Dating 101: Making Life Announcements Online

As I mentioned last week, we're teaming up with geeksugar to bring you a series about love and the technologies that connect us called Tech Dating 101. So now that we've covered the ins and outs of changing your relationship status on social networking sites like Facebook, it's time to tackle a topic that always raises lots of questions — sharing personal information online. And now for our second question:

Is it appropriate to make big life announcements online?

To see DearSugar's answer,


While I understand that sending an email or updating your personal information on your online social networks is easier than calling your friends and family members individually, I think making a major announcement like an engagement, a pregnancy, a breakup, or a career move should be done in a more intimate, personal manner.

Of course, the news is yours to share and it should be told in whatever format you see fit, but be sure to take other people's feelings into consideration. I can almost guarantee that your mom, sister, or best friend will be disappointed if they're hearing about a major event in your life in the same way that your co-workers are, so sometimes the extra effort is well worth it.

To find out what geek has to say about this one, head on over to geeksugar.


AmandaKrups AmandaKrups 8 years
Jesi_Oh, I thought you said the deceased's sister posted the message. That would probably be appropriate. Maybe the same day was a tad rushed, but any more than a day or two later and people would miss the announcement about the wake and funeral. Javsmav, even if you're not physically or emotionally close to your family, I can't see how you wouldn't tell them when you get pregnant. Are you just going to show up on their doorstep one day with a baby in your arms and say, "Surprise! You're grandparents!"
Jesi_Oh Jesi_Oh 8 years
I'm afraid I still disagree AmandaKrups, especially seeing as this was not an announcement by the family but rather a post from a (not particularly close) friend of one of the siblings on the deceased's page stating "RIP *name*". It was also posted the same day he died so the family (who had more important things than FaceBook on their minds) did not have the chance to notify close friends etc personally. I'm sure it could be tastefully done but I still think this was in bad taste.
javsmav javsmav 8 years
Well, the pregnancy part is hypothetical, but we are engaged. I'm not embarrassed of my fiance & my parents love him. I don't think I could do any better than him. He's extremely nice, funny, and he's a doctor--what parents don't want to see their daughter marry a doctor, right? :) I'm not extremely close with my family, but I've always been very independent and it feels weird to be engaged. I never talk about relationships with my family--we talk about weather, cats, and running. I also live pretty far from my family, so it would be possible to not see them for 9 months.
AmandaKrups AmandaKrups 8 years
Actually Jesi_Oh, I think it's very appropriate to post an announcement about someone's death on their Facebook page. Either that or create a memorial page for them. It's the best way to get the announcement out to people that you aren't going to call or email directly. I would want to know if one of my acquaintances died, and I probably wouldn't be able to find out any other way.
Jesi_Oh Jesi_Oh 8 years
well I recently found out through FaceBook that a friend of mine had died that day. I logged on and one of his sister's friends had posted a RIP message on HIS page. It freaked me out and I think it was highly inappropriate!
Louie Louie 8 years
Luna08 - whoa. No-one should have to see that!!
AmandaKrups AmandaKrups 8 years
Oops, I wrote finance instead of fiance.
AmandaKrups AmandaKrups 8 years
Javsmav, are you kidding me? You won't call and tell your parents and sister that you're engaged?!? You must not be that close to them. Or maybe you are embarrassed of your finance and know you could do better. And the fact that you plan to tell them once you have had a child and not that you are pregnant? Do you not plan to see them at all during those 9 months? Are you actually pregnant or is it all just hypothetical at this point? Maybe it's because you think you are too young to be pregnant or it's because you're not married yet. I guess I can't judge, but I can't imagine not including my parents in major events in my life. I guess I'm just lucky that I have such a close, loving family. As for when I got engaged, I called my parents and best friends that night, then posted it on Facebook and my fiance sent out a mass text. Then the next day (since it was too late that evening), I called my grandparents. My mom and dad told their own siblings (my aunts and uncles). I emailed a couple of good friends who I didn't really feel the need to call. And anyone who saw it on Facebook wasn't close enough to be to get invited to the wedding, so it didn't matter if they found out that way.
lickety-split lickety-split 8 years
what's the point of being on these networking sites, and being connected to people if you have to call them all when it comes to the things that really matter? if all anyone is going to update me on is pointless dribble like "got new tires today...having a grilled cheese.." etc., i don't think i want to be in that friends group! i have a circle of friends that has been exchanging pictures and milestone updates for about 6 years now. much nicer to soften the blow of the really bad news with a quick note online than to have to call people and announce things like a death, divorce, etc. and btw, this is a group of parents with SEVERELY impaired children, so there have been tragic events on many occasions, it's not all rainbows and ponies.
javsmav javsmav 8 years
I plan on changing my status to engaged on facebook, I assume my sister will notice that & she can tell my parents. Ever since I watched Father of the Bride, I've dreaded the moment of making that announcement to my parents. Thankfully, the technology exists today where I can avoid it. I also plan on telling my family I had child rather than announcing I'm pregnant--information that I would never go on facebook. I know I should feel excited about these things, but I just find them embarrassing.
aimeeb aimeeb 8 years
I think it's sometimes a tad pathetic that people feel they NEED to update the online world of such things but to each their own.
merie33 merie33 8 years
tomatoshirt tomatoshirt 8 years
facebook is evil
green-socks green-socks 8 years
I hate when people do it to me, so I contact people I'm close to first with news and then allow the "rest of the world" to know a few weeks later, when I am sure it won't be a surprise to those I am close to (I have a few family members that I have to actually mail things to if I want to tell them information, and I feel better if they know before that kid from college that I haven't really talked to in few years). It's not that I'm not excited about the information, I just hate things like that being announced en masse like that.
lilegwene lilegwene 8 years
Agree with Dear. Take the time to let close friends and family in on your good/bad news first. They'll feel appreciated and special for the simple knowledge that they're who you go to first.
Ac2366 Ac2366 8 years
I post things on facebook sometimes. I haven't ever had the opportunity to post anything like an engagement or marriage but I would probably post it on there pretty quickly. My parents aren't on facebook and neither are most of my family so they wouldn't know until I told them anyway. Sometimes I just get excited about stuff and I post it on facebook so I know I have it in me to post life changing news on there. I won't try to deny it.
luna08 luna08 8 years
I gave up facebook for Lent and can't believe how many announcements I'm missing out on (my sister calls me to let me know). You're pregnant, engaged, getting married and announce it only on FB? Crazy! One of the girls that was in my dorm in college posted a picture of her C-section with the baby half in/half out of the cut open belly. Spare me, please!! Some one needs to write an etiquette book and place it as a FB app. :)
SeaAre86 SeaAre86 8 years
Well, one of the bad things about having one's relationship status posted is if it goes badly and you have to take it down. There are a lot of things I would never put as my status, and usually they are boring.. but when it came to a huge break up I had I certainly posted it as a status saying "don't ask, I don't want to talk about it." As for other things.. I agree with Dear -- I don't want people to find out by reading it on facebook/whatever. Ugh.
skigurl skigurl 8 years
i'd say post it only AFTER you've told your closest family and friends the news...tell your parents, close family members, your siblings, your best friends FIRST and then once the news has time to pass to aunts, uncles, second-tier friends, colleagues, then i'd say post it, but Dear is right...your mom and sister might be a little angered if they learned about a major event on facebook! (actually i have a story: i know a girl who was in a long engagement, ie: had been engaged for a year and had a baby in that time, but out of the blue decided to have her wedding down south and instead of telling her family in person, she posted it on facebook so me and her mom found out at the same time....needless to say, her parents weren't too happy about it)
dm8bri dm8bri 8 years
I HATE it when people post their ultrasound pictures as their profile pics on facebook. Also, a friend of mine updated her status all weekend while she was in labor - even telling everyone the glory of epidurals! nonononononononononononono
strema strema 8 years
I have a lot of nosy friends and family that I'm friends with on Facebook and other social networking sites, so I usually avoid posting anything of interest on my profiles. It's just easier to break the news to people one at a time, when they can ask questions and get it out of their systems, rather than announcing it to everyone at once and being bombarded.
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